There is Always a Way

Moving

2011-12-16T08:07:00.002-05:00

Nothing is set in stone, but I think I am moving.
Moving to a new place to blog that is.
You can follow along with me here:
http://karikeepsrunning.tumblr.com/
So far I like the change...but I feel oddly attached to blogger....hmm. I have been using blogger for quite some time. I think I started blogging here a little before Charly existed.
But, I do love the community aspect of tumblr.

We will see what I end up doing in the long run....

Potty training

2011-12-13T10:25:00.001-05:00

I know you are supposed to let kids take their time and not force and blah blah blah. But, today I am in a "bull pucky!" type of mood. I know Aydan has it in him. I could be wrong, he may not be ready, but today I am not taking that into consideration. If I end today feeling tired and defeated, tomorrow might be a different story.
It is 10:15am and since about 8:30am, Aydan has been sitting on the toilet every 15 minutes. We have a timer set and each time it goes off he has to go in and at least try to go potty.
Sounds easy schmeasy, right? Um, have you met my son?
The first start of the timer, he was excited. He wanted to push the button and he watched the timer go. Once the timer went off, he gave me little resistant and sat on the toilet. He even opted for the big potty rather than his little one. Did he go? No.
But, I went ahead and asked him if he wanted to put some big boy underwear on. He was all for it. I figured if he was going to be on the toilet every fifteen minutes, the chances of him soiling himself were slim.
Next fifteen minutes go by...right before, he goes pee in his underwear. But, I still make him sit on the toilet.
We continue the fifteen minute timer and each time he hides and screams and I have to carry him in to the bathroom. I don't fuss or argue, I just take him in there.
I don't make him sit long, but he is required to sit. He tells me that he doesn't like me anymore. He screams "don't start the timer!".
He is definitely not liking this to say the least. I thought Charly was stubborn, but Aydan takes the cake. And now I can't back out even if I wanted to.
He has gone potty in the toilet zero times.
He has gone in his underwear once and his diaper twice.

The battle has begun...who will win? ;) Actually, it is a win/win lose/lose situation...because if I win, Aydan wins too by being potty trained...he just doesn't realize that yet.

Stay tuned.....

24 usable hours

2011-12-10T20:20:00.001-05:00

Friday and Saturday have been busy days. I feel like the energizer bunny. :)

To recap:

Friday:

Kids woke me up at 6:30. (woo! got to sleep in a little)
Got Charly to school by 8am.
Came home and made some chocolate ganache for a truffle order.
Aydan REALLY wanted to play in the snow, so I bundled the kids up and took them outside for a bit. It was nice to take some time out and just play with them.
I had everyone inside and settled down in time for me to get going on work by 10am. I had already checked emails to make sure there wasn't anything urgent first thing in the morning.
The next eight hours or so was work, kids, work, work. Mark had PT in the morning, but as soon as he got home, he was able to take over kid duty so I could go downstairs and plow. I wanted to get as much done as I could, so I could go in to the weekend with a clear brain. Easier to relax that way.
About 5:30, we went up to the church for the Soup Supper. We let the kids run around for a while, we ate some food, and visited with the Cardenas's and everyone else there.
We left the church a little about 7 o'clock and we drove the kids around town so they could see the lights. Every time we came up to a house with lights, Peyten would hollar "mom!", lol. "Yes Peyten....I see them" ;)
Once we got home, I went back out again to go up to the church to do some cleaning. I cleaned from about 8-10:30.
After I got home from that, I continued making the truffles and made some toffee as well.
I was able to get both done and even got the toffee measured out and bagged.
I finished watching an episode of Covert Affairs and was in bed about 1:30am.

Saturday:

The kids woke me up about 7am. Well, they crawled in to my bed earlier than that...first Aydan and then Charly, but they didn't get me out of bed until 7.
Peyten slept past 7, so I took the opportunity and snuck a shower in first thing.
A little after 8, I made chocolate banana pancakes for everyone. YUM! One of my favorite foods.
I had no plans today except to get some things done, so I just mosied about.
I made two loaves of banana bread for an order - one plain and one chocolate
The kids went outside with Mark and Dan to play in the snow.
Peyten played outside for a bit, but then she came inside and took a nap. (a short one)
I finished wrapping and labeling all the truffles and toffee for Dan and Dana's order.
After Mark came in with the kids, he had to leave to go meet up with his boss for a bit.
The kids made a rice krispie treat Christmas house with Dana and Dan.
A little after noon, I put in Goonies for the kids and then made them lunch - pb&j and mac n cheese.
I put Peyten down for another nap at about 1:30.
Mark was home by this time and I ended up taking a nap about 2 o'clock. I told Mark to come get me in a half an hour. Well, 2-1/2 hours later, I get up from my nap. I remember Mark coming in there once and I mumbled to let me sleep longer. I was so out. I guess he had come in there three different times, lol.
I got started baking some stuff for coffee hour at church in the morning. Two loaves of banana bread, oatmeal raisin cookies, and some pumpkin bars.
We realized that we should probably eat some dinner, so Mark ran to the store and got a take n bake pizza.
After dinner, we picked out a movie off of Netflix.
We made a pallet on the floor, got the kids in their pj's and watched Snowglobe. Aydan passed out half way in, but the girls watched the whole movie. Charly liked it a lot. It was cute.
Now the kids are in bed, Mark and I are watching The Expendables. I probably won't be up too late tonight.

Sunday looks like:

Wake up in the morning.
Charly and I will head out a little early and hit the grocery store for a couple things and then be at the church by 9am. I am filling in for Kathy for Sunday school. Should be interesting since I have never done that before! lol
A little before 10:30 Mark will show up at church with the other two and we will see how many kids I get in nursery during church.
After service the Unrath's are in charge of coffee hour, so we will put out our spread.
After church, I am going to load the kids up and take them to Holton to visit my Dad and Claudia. We have no set plans, just to hang out and relax.
After we get back to Holton and put the kids in bed, I will make two pumpkin rolls, some peanut butter cups, and some toffee for a couple orders.

And then it is back to work Monday!

Breathe

2011-12-10T07:43:00.001-05:00

Whenever Aydan has a meltdown, I try and do a breathing technique with him. It usually helps calm him down, but he doesn't breathe with me. I say 1, breathe, 2, breathe, 3, breathe, etc until I get to 10.

The other night he was having a meltdown because we had told the kids that if they eat their dinner, we would go see the Christmas lights. Well, they didn't eat their dinner and Aydan wanted to see those lights so bad. Well, he was having a fit.

I took him in the bedroom after a while and at one point, he was saying "I just can't! I just can't do it!". What he was referring to was not being able to calm down. I could hear the disparity in his cry. I felt so bad.

So, I looked at him and started with "1 breathe", and a I took a deep breath. And then I heard Aydan take a deep breath. "2 breathe", and I took a deep breath and then I heard Aydan do the same. We did this all the way to ten and he was a different kid by the end. He was ready to grab a blanket and pillow and go watch the movie with his sisters.

He gathered his stuff and went out in to the living room. And then he told Mark "Mom taught me how to calm down by breathing!" He was so happy and proud of his accomplishment. Me too.

A good year

2011-12-06T09:00:00.001-05:00

First, let's look at my track record:

South Haven Blueberry 5k          8/4/10 - 28:39
Lansing Pumpkin Trot 5k           10/17/10 - 29.36
Battle Creek Road Hawg 5k       11/13/10 - 30:21
Mackinaw Bridge Run 5.6mile 5/28/11 - 47:57
Hartford Strawberry 5k              6/11/11 - 24:57
Kalamazoo Klassic 5k                 6/18/11 - 26:01
Watervliet Cherry 5k                   7/2/11 - 27:11
Coloma Peach 5k                        8/6/11 - 28:08
South Haven Blueberry 5k         8/13/11 - 25:13
Paw Paw Grape 5k                      9/10/11 - 25:13
Battle Creek Road Hawg            11/12/11 - 25:47

I would say I am less than consistent, but with the courses being so different you just never know. I do know that I beat my first ever 5k time by 3 minutes and 26 seconds. A year of improvement, always a good thing!

Now, next year Brett and I have both committed to these three events:

May 6th - Borgess Half Marathon - 13.1 miles
July - SMAC Adventure Race 10 hours or less course (biking, canoeing, running, and orienteering)
October 21st - Grand Rapids Marathon 26.2 miles

And I do plan on trying to do the fruit belt series again. Here is 2011's schedule (2012 should be similar):

2011 Michiana Fruit Belt Series schedule:
June 11, 2011: Hartford, MI Strawberry Run
July 2, 2011: Watervliet, MI Ed Bednarowski Memorial Cherry Run
August 6, 2011: Coloma, MI Glad-Peach Run
August 13, 2011: South Haven, MI Blueberry Run
September 10, 2011: Paw Paw, MI Grape Lake Run

All I can say is it's going to be good!! I am so not ready for a half marathon or an adventure race or a full marathon. But, that is quite alright. I will get there. And if I don't, well I am going to suffer for it. But, I am going to do it. And that is the important part.

January = start to train train train!

Analyzed

2011-12-05T15:44:00.001-05:00

work (wûrk)n.1. Physical or mental effort or activity that we have the opportunity to choose to partake in, in order for us to reap the benefits.

Sometimes I get to a point in my life where I feel I need to analyze it. I don't know why I don't feel this way all the time, but I don't...or at least I am not quite conscious of it. And then I start to realize that analyzing my life can also cause me more grief...unnecessary grief. Because really what I would be doing, would be "over analyzing". And what I really want to do, is to just shut my mind off. Completely. For a really long time. I think this just all stems for exhaustion. Mental exhaustion. And when I am mentally exhausted it is hard for me to put forth effort to any other work that I want to do.

I stood in the shower today, letting the piping hot water run over me, while I contemplated my contemplation. Really? I couldn't move. I actually did not want to move from that spot. Not just because I love the feeling of the hot water slightly burning my skin, but I just didn't want to move forward. Once I got out of the shower, I had to get dressed, get back to work, and kids would be running around soon enough. I thought about laying down in the shower and just laying there. Immobile. I also thought for a second that the hot water might make me pass out. Would I bump my head? Surely Mark would find me soon enough. But, instead I just leaned against the wall and let the water hit the top of my head like standing under a waterfall. I love waterfalls. I know that is random. But, there is something so controlling and free about them. Balance.

Anyway, I get sad when I am in one of these moods because I come to the realization that I am just "going through the motions". It is easy to do the things that "need" to get done. My job requires me to do a certain amount of things. The kids wake me up each day and need things from me. The house is filthy, it needs to be cleaned. All the things that are thrown at me in one day, leave me exhausted at the end of the night. By the end of the day, I just want to curl in a ball and zone out. Too scared to go to sleep too early because as soon as I do, I know the next day starts and I will have to do it all over again. That sounds sad and depressing, but really it isn't. My life is full and crazy and I really wouldn't have it any other way. This is just my whole ebb and flow process. It doesn't last too long. Balance.

Work. The work that gets put on the sidelines is the work that I really want to be doing. It takes work to make relationships great. It takes a lot of work. And it seems that that is the type of work that gets sidelined when the rest of my world gets crazy.
Work to keep my marriage amazing.
Work to keep my relationship with my kids open and loving.
Work to keep my body healthy and in shape.
Work to keep my involvement in our church strong.

Work is a choice. It is always a choice. And I choose to work a lot so that I can reap a whole lot of benefits.

Money

2011-12-01T13:48:00.001-05:00

Sometimes I get stressed about money. Today is one of those days. I am not going to go in to all the little details, but it has just been one of those couple of days where one thing goes wrong after another. Such is life.

BUT, then I remember all the other times in my life that I have stressed about money and how each time God has provided for me, in one way or another. ALWAYS. There has never been a time where I was just not ok. And each time I figure out...oh, well that could have been worse. I truly am blessed. I know I can't say that enough. But, I have to keep remembering to not worry over silly money squabbles. Yes, I said money squabbles...whatever that means.

Migraine

2011-11-30T16:18:00.001-05:00

I have had a handful of full blown migraines in my life. I can almost count them all because I still remember some of them rather vividly.

My first ever migraine was at my mom's house in high school or middle school. I was there over the weekend and there ended up being some sort of plumbing issue and well, the seepage caused a stink similar to rotten eggs. Shortly after that, my head was pounding and I felt blind. It was the evening I had to go back to my dad's, so I had to ride in a car the 30-45 minute drive to my dad's house. When I got there I remember crawling in to bed, still crying, and just hoping the pain didn't last too long. My mom stayed with me for a while and kept talking to me with a soothing voice and it helped calm me down. Eventually I drifted off to sleep.

Since then, I have had a couple few more.

Last Saturday I had another migraine. Now, when I say migraine, I could mean the regular headache accompanied with light sensitivity and nausea. I do get those every so often. But, right now, I am talking about the full blown, I can't move, dear Lord why is this happening, type of migraine.

I was enjoying a semi peaceful Saturday. My boss called and had a few work things for me to tend to. Nothing too major, so I booted up my computer. Mark was on the couch, the kids were running around. My head had been vaguely hurting all morning, but nothing out of the ordinary.
I had been on the computer for about an hour and then all of a sudden a wave came over me. It is hard to explain. It is similar to getting hit with the velvet hammer, although I wasn't sleepy. I felt as though I might pass out, but wasn't sure. Then the nausea set in. I was quite certain that I may have to run to the bathroom, but didn't know if that would actually come to pass. Then I just didn't want to keep my eyes open any longer. It hurt to look at anything. I wanted the world to be completely dark.
My head was spinning and I just couldn't handle looking at anything. I curled up in a ball on the floor hoping the spinning within my brain would just stop for a second.
Then the pain came. It felt like someone was stabbing me with blunt objects from all sides of my head. The pain wasn't really hitting me in one particular spot. If that was a good thing, I am not sure.
I laid there with my hands over my head and waited until my head felt in control.
Then a certain little boy that shall not be named came over right be me...with a very poopy diaper. Oh my goodness! Let me tell you. You know how with migraines, you get the sensitivity to light? Well, it may be ten fold with the sensitivity to smell...in particular, poop! I felt like my brain was literally going to explode.
Mark had dozed off on the couch and wasn't really aware of my situation. And with me being in my situation...I just couldn't bring myself to talk much.
So, I just wanted the poop over and done with and I changed that diaper as fast as I have ever changed a diaper. First of all, the smell had to go away before my brain actually exploded. And second, when I stood up I immediately felt like I was going to fall back over. So, when I changed him, I wanted to do so before actually keeling over on the floor.
By this time, I was in full on tears. Now, I don't really get it....can't my body understand that crying makes migraines worse? I mean, doesn't it get that? It was as if the pain and the emotional toll on my body, I just had to get some sort of release. And that release came from crying. Even if it did make the pain that much more unbearable.
Charly and Aydan started asking me "why are you crying momma?" Well, I just didn't have much gumption to give any answers, I am not sure what I even mumbled. I was just stuck, I didn't know what to do. When there is so much going on with my head like that, I can't think straight. At all.
I crouched down in the kitchen and cried. Sobbed. Let it all out. I needed to try and get to some sort of place of stability.
Eventually I stood up and let Mark know that I was going downstairs to go to bed. I do know that is the only real cure for a migraine. I got downstairs and tried to clear my sinuses from all the crying and crawled in to bed. The bottle of exedrin that used to be downstairs was no longer. Darn. I laid there in bed hoping to doze off. Of course the pounding continued and every time I got some relief from the crying, it would just bubble up again and start all over.
I calmed down a tad and decided to trek upstairs and I got a tylenol PM. If I wasn't able to doze off on my own, I knew that within 15-20 minutes, the PM would do that for me. I couldn't wait to be unconscious for this debacle.
I crawled back in bed and figured out a way to be comfortable without having to move too much. I had my head propped up and I was on my side. I knew that if I laid on my back...or my other side, the whole world would start spinning again.

During this time, while I am waiting for the throbbing, aching, stabbing to at least slow down a bit, I can't help to think about how amazing it is that our heads can hurt that bad. And I begin to appreciate every "little" headache I had had before.
Eventually I dozed off and slept for a couple hours. When I woke up, I was feeling much better. I was still feeling weak, tired, and a bit dizzy. But, the pain was gone and that I was very thankful for.

Is there a way to prevent these episodes? I am not sure. But, I hope it is a long time....if not ever...that I have one.

A little Sunday recap

2011-11-27T18:36:00.001-05:00

Saturday night, the kids went to bed two hours later than usual. Peyten went to bed at 7:30 and we let Aydan and Charly stay up until 9:30 to watch Elf. So, they actually slept in a little on Sunday...until 7am. Hey, I will take what I can get. And Peyten didn't get up until about 8am. She is still my sleeper!

Charly and I left for church about 9am. (Mark comes later with the other two) We get there a little early just in case there actually is any kids that show up for nursery. Charly usually helps Kathy get the Sunday school stuff together. And I drink my coffee and open up the nursery. Since there usually isn't any kids in the nursery during Sunday school, I just take that time to read, study, or meditate.
Now, during church there was about nine kids in nursery (our 3, plus 6 more), which is the most I have had so far. It was a big Sunday because it was hanging of the greens and also Odena Hanson's 90th birthday! So, the sanctuary was pretty full. The kids did great though and actually all played really well together. It is a lot of fun watching them all interact.

After church we all went home and had some turkey leftovers and Peyten went down for a much needed nap.

Then I got in the Christmas mood and decided to put up the Christmas tree. Charly and Aydan helped me put it up and then we got all the ornaments on it. The kids had a lot of fun with it. They enjoyed looking at each ornament and asking about what some of them said, etc. Aydan got to put the angel on the top of the tree this year. Afterward they made sure we turned off all the lights so they could see the lights better.

Peyten was up by this time and we just did some more relaxing. Mark took off to go watch the Bears at his friend's house. Aydan was sitting on my lap in the living room and then all of a sudden he said he was tired. I said "do you want to go lay down in the blue room?" He said "no, I am just going to sleep on the chair." So, he got down, grabbed a pillow and blanket. Got himself comfy in the recliner and within a minute he was out. I guess he was really tired! Shortly after that, Charly fell asleep next to Dan on the couch.

I took the opportunity to have some special time with Peyten, so we went in the bedroom and laid in bed and read some stories. She laid with me for a while before she got antsy and started exploring.

Then I got an itch to do a little cleaning. The "closet" that we have for the kids is a free standing one that has a plastic outer part. Well, the whole thing is a bit old and the plastic is ripping and falling apart. The whole thing is a bit of a pain in the rear. So, I pulled it out from the wall and finally cleaned up the book from behind Peyten's crib...that she had shredded to pieces....yeah. And the "closet", I figured out how to get the plastic off, so now it is just basically a free standing metal rod. And I was able to clean up some of the stuff I had in the closet and was able to put their two drawer dresser underneath it. It turned out that taking the plastic off, saved me even more space. And not having it on there really opened the room up. We have so much stuff in there, the room needs all the help it can get. :)

By the time I was done in there...and got the rest of the kids clean clothes put away, Garry and Cindy had ordered a pizza for everyone. We all sat down at the table to eat and the kids scarfed a bunch down. They always like Gala-T-Inn pizza. Even though lately it has been pretty spicy...the kids don't complain, which surprises me, because it really does have quite a kick!

With our bellies full, we decided we would watch a Christmas movie downstairs. They wanted to watch a Christmas movie, with the lights off, and the tree lights on. :) So, we watched a Fruitcake Christmas...and Peyten kept messing with the ornaments on the tree.

Now, we are winding down for the night and the kids will hit the hay soon. After they are in bed, I may hop on the treadmill. I should, I am long overdue!

Great family day. Garry, Cindy, Dana, Dan, Mark, Charly, Aydan, and Peyten. Very grateful for them all!

Well, the kids ended up staying up a little later because we let them have turns with the guitar singing songs. Here is one of the videos:

And Charly came up with a song that goes like this:

"Rock and roll, rock rock rock!
Rock and roll to the beat!
Knock your socks off your feet!"

And now it is 9:20 and nope, I am not getting onthe treadmill. I have some work to get done before heading to bed.

Note to self

2011-11-24T21:56:00.001-05:00

This year Mark and I were very impressed with the turkey. So, I just wanted to detail how I cooked it here, so I can refer to this next year. It had a lot of flavor and was very moist.

I went with a Butterball turkey. It weighed in about 16 pounds.
On Wednesday night I took it out of the package and seasoned it up. I mashed together a stick of butter with rosemary, thyme, and oregano. I rubbed the butter all over, under the skin and on top. I did not salt and pepper the turkey. I am not sure why, I just didn't feel the need. I wrapped up the bird and and put it in the fridge. I do not truss my turkey. I probably could...maybe next year.

On Thursday morning, I put the turkey in a 500 degree oven for 30 minutes. After the 30 minutes, it had a good golden color on the skin. I then turned the oven down to 350 degrees and I put tin foil over just the breast of the turkey and put it back in the oven.
I am not sure how long I baked the turkey from here. Maybe 2 hours? The internal temp was right about 165-170 when I pulled it out. I let it rest for a good 2 hours before we cut in to it.

Darn Tasty :)

Croissants

2011-11-24T21:18:00.001-05:00

So, I was able to muster up the gumption to bake some croissants from scratch. The whole process was long, but enjoyable. I really do enjoy making things from scratch.

I used this recipe: http://www.mamaliga.com/desserts/croissants-a-la-julia-child

Now, I started the dough around 5pm I think. I knew it would take a while, but I just didn't care.

By the time the dough doubled in size it was after the kids went to bed. And the dough had to chill for another two hours and then another 2 hours after that. At 11:30, I crashed on the couch for a bit and set my alarm for 1:30am. The dough was ready to roll and I also stuffed them with sausage, egg, and cheese. I only had two eggs left...and stores were of course closed, so I went with it. After tasting the finished product, I do wish I had more eggs, but they were still good.

So, I had the croissants all rolled out, now they had to rise for another hour.

I turned on an episode of House and waited to be able to bake the croissants. I had the oven preheating.

I probably should have waited longer to bake the croissants. They hadn't risen much in the hour. Yeast dough always seems to take so much longer to rise than the recipe says. Maybe it is just me. But, I went ahead and baked them...ya know, because it was like 3am.

Once in the oven, the croissants did not take long to make. About 10-15 minutes.

They turned out flaky, but not very "light". Probably more rising would have taken care of that. Hindsight. But, they were very tasty anyhow.

After I was able to taste one, I cleaned up a little and was off to bed. I crashed hard. My legs were hurting so bad from being in the kitchen for so long prepping turkey dinner. It is a good pain.

And then about quarter to 4, Aydan let out a huge scream. I don't know if he was dreaming or what. I ran in there because I wanted to grab him before he woke up Charly and Peyten. I was too late. Peyten was standing up crying. I had Aydan in my arms and I went to give Peyten a hug to calm her down and she was clawing her way out of her crib. I just grabbed both of them and brought them in to bed with me. I just wanted to go back to sleep.

I laid in bed and had Aydan on one side and Peyten on the other. One minute later, Charly walks in and insists on crawling in to bed too...she figured out a spot at the end of the bed. Charly and Aydan went to sleep, but Peyten did not. She would lay down for a second and then sit back up and start talking. After a bit I put her back in her bed with a little milk and she went back to sleep. In the meantime, that woke Aydan back up and he was crying. Once I got back in to bed though, he settled down.

For a while now, all the kids have been doing well at sleeping through the night. It is just purely ironic that they decided to all have a rough night on the one night that I am up so late!

So, after everyone was back to sleep, I drifted off and we woke up about 7am. Time to start the turkey!!

It's 2am......

2011-11-24T02:17:00.001-05:00

and I have another 45 minutes or so before I can put my croissants in the oven. I am debating on whether to catch some zzz's or to just try and stay up and wait. I already took a little "nap" between midnight and 1:30 waiting for my dough to chill the last time.
Yes, I turn in to a crazy person for Thanksgiving. I love to challenge myself and try new things, etc. So, I have a batch of croissants going. I haven't made croissants since culinary school and I am really hoping they live up to my expectations.
See, in bake shop every Tuesday...or whatever day of the week, I can't remember. We would make croissants and we would stuff them with egg, cheese, sausage, bacon...various goodies. Well, everyone knew that around 8am, those puppies would be hot and ready and oh. my. goodness. were they good. It was a good day when you got a breakfast croissant.
I am not expecting magic with these croissants, but I am hoping for darn tasty. Stay tuned....

Nope, not gonna do it

2011-11-23T09:02:00.001-05:00

I am not going to get sick.
Yesterday, I woke up with a headache and just overall, felt ill. Tired, nauseous, etc.
Well, I tried to take it easy for most of the day. I caught up on work and then took a 20 min nap. I worked for another couple hours and then took an hour nap. At that point, I really had no choice. My eyes were swimming, my head hurt, and I could barely look at the computer screen. And then of course, oh so tired. The nap did me good, but when I woke up I still was just not feeling well, I wanted to just keel over. I got in another couple hours of work and then it was time to wrap up for the night. I ate a little bit of dinner and tried to relax with the kiddos for a while. Mark and I put them to bed right at 7:30 and I really considered just crawling in to bed and going to sleep, but I knew that if I didn't start on my prep list for Thanksgiving, then I would regret it the next day, so I pushed through.
I poured myself a glass of wine, I put on my apron, and I got my mp3 player going. It was quite therapeutic. I was done a little after 10, where I laid on the couch and watch a hulu show. Then I crawled in to bed and laid there...wide eyed and head throbbing. I got up and took a tylenol pm, laid back down and 5 minutes later I was in dream land. Next thing I knew, the kids were waking me up at 6am.
Today, I feel normal, I feel good. Maybe the naps and the tylenol did the trick. Who knows. But, I am glad I feel good today...I really did not want to be sick on Thanksgiving!

Quote of the day

2011-11-23T08:28:00.001-05:00

Charly: "Mom, can you help me? The guests are going to be here in two minutes!"
Mom: "They won't be here for 30 minutes"
Charly: "Ok, then I will just dance."

Thanksgiving prepared

2011-11-22T09:25:00.001-05:00

Menu

Apps:

Ham pickle roll ups
Deviled eggs
Olives
Chips and black bean corn salsa
Sausage
Cheese
Crackers

Dinner:

Turkey
Turkey breast
Mashed Potatoes
Gravy
Stuffing
Green Bean Casserole
Corn
Brussel sprouts
Croissants

Dessert:

Sweet Potato Pie
Apple Pie
Pumpkin roll
Lemon Meringue

Prep lists

Tuesday:

make pie crusts
make pumpkin roll
chop herbs
marinate turkey
cook eggs
cut tortillas
cut bread for stuffing
cut veggies for stuffing
prep brussel sprouts

Wednesday:

make deviled eggs
cut cheese and sausage
make salsa
cut potatoes
make stuffing
prep green bean casserole
make sweet potato pie
make apple pie
make lemon meringue pie

Thursday:

bake turkeys
bake stuffing
make ham pickle roll ups
fry chips
make mashed potatoes
make gravy
cook corn
cook brussel sprouts
bake croissants
whip cream
EAT!

The only thing left to do is to figure out what to eat for breakfast on Thursday morning. I may try beignets, not sure. I would love to make some croissants from scratch and stuff them with egg, sausage, and cheese...but we will see how ambitious I feel :)

On a side note...

2011-11-20T23:13:00.001-05:00

I was thinking the other day, I don't act nearly as goofy when I am with people as I do when I am by myself. What gives?? I should totally not do that anymore.
Keep the goofy, ditch the hold back. Got it.

My day in bullets...

2011-11-20T22:57:00.001-05:00

No run this weekend :( So, that means only 9.5 miles this week. But, I am taking that as a win. Anything over zero is a win!
I had a great time with the kids in nursery this morning.
Thanksgiving pot luck after church....ate A LOT. Love my church family.
Got home and was exhausted after church, but couldn't close my eyes due to the cup(s) of coffee I had. darn caffeine...that is why I avoid you!
Cleaned/sorted a bunch of the toys and Charly and Aydan picked out a bunch of their toys to donate. I was so proud of those kids, they got really in to it. When I asked Aydan if he understood that he wouldn't see these toys anymore, he responded with a furrowed brow and a serious tone: "um..yeah, I think I understand". ha ha
I did some more cleaning ...stuff that had been sitting around way too long.
Changed the sheets on all three kids beds.
Found some lost items under/behind the beds.
Watched "Wild America" with the kids. Aydan fell asleep on my leg and then it was time for everyone to go to bed. Peyten was trying to roll over on the changing table to go to sleep she was so tired, lol. And then when I put her in her bed, she kept crying asking for "popcone!" Um, no dear...
Cleaned the kitchen.
Made some chocolate banana bread for an order.
Now I sit on my computer and it is just past 11pm. Tomorrow is going to come too fast. I think I will get comfy in my bed and read some Anne Lamott and drift off to sleep.....

Monday night is small group. Tuesday and Wednesday are prep days. And Thursday is Thanksgiving!

2011-11-17T15:25:00.001-05:00

Let's check on that to do list that I blogged about last week:

1. paint two of the bedrooms upstairs.

2. try and budget in some carpet for the two bedrooms. get measurements for each room

3. ~~Add items to sell on ebay. Seriously...I can't just let this stuff sit around any longer. I no longer need pez in my life and these comic books...well, I don't read them neither does anyone else.~~ Done! Well, it is up on ebay...it sure hasn't sold yet:)

4. rearrange the downstairs living room to create more usable space. - I need to get on this :P

5. ~~package and ship Mom's box of goodies and what nots.~~ Done! And mom got them yesterday.

So, two out of five ain't bad. And really, the first two items probably won't get done until after the holidays, that is just how it goes.

Now, I can add to the list...
6. Christmas shopping!!!!

Oh yes, I do love me some Christmas shopping. I plan, I shop, I buy, I wrap. I give. I love all of those things.

Over the last couple of years, we have pinned down some traditions. It is nice knowing what to expect each year. There was quite a few years that I didn't know what to expect.

The third Saturday of the month is the Hoffmann Christmas, my stepmom's side of the family. We eat a bunch of food, the kids exchange gifts, and we do White Elephant (which usually gets a little hilarious).
Nate is going to fly in this same weekend, and we will have him here until after Christmas.
Christmas Eve night we head over to the Griffin Christmas, which is Mark's aunt and uncle's house. We eat a bunch of food, exchange gifts, and sing carols.
Christmas morning we have the Unrath Christmas. Behler's are here as well and we have some breakfast and open up presents with the kids. And then of course we lounge around in our pajamas and relax for most of the day.
This year we have added a new one. A couple days after Christmas, we will head to Cincinnati for the Selleck Reunion, which is my dad's side of the family. We are all going to stay in a hotel for 3 nights and enjoy each other's company. It isn't very often that we can get most of the "Selleck" clan together, so we look forward to it when we can.

But first, we have Thanksgiving and I love Thanksgiving. It also includes some of my favorite activities. Family, planning, cooking, eating, relaxing. It's great.
I got my grocery shopping done today, so I am ready to prep and prepare.

On a related note...grocery shopping today was a great stress reliever. Maybe stress reliever isn't the best term...more like a great rejuvenator. There is not much else that I find as relaxing as walking in a store, dropping my purse in a cart, and to just start moseying around the store. I love to just gander, peruse, and compare everything.
And to top it off today, I was under budget! Yes, that just tops off the whole experience.
And when I was at Aldi, I let a guy with only four items go in front of me. He thanked me about 3 times, it was great.
When I was at Big Lots, an item I was buying didn't ring up at the sale price. After walking back with the cashier to show her the sign, and after we looked through flyer to see if it was there (it was not), she finally decided to just go ahead and change the price for me. Saved 2 bucks there.
Oh, and for some reason....every time I buy brussel sprouts and/or greens (collard or turnip) I get super excited and happy. I know, it is weird...but I just love them. Today, at Meijer I bought both and can't wait to cook them up. Weird happy. Love it.

Tomorrow we have church and after church is the Thanksgiving potluck. I am making some chocolate banana bread to bring. Yum. I love my church family, can't wait.

Oh, and then Monday night we have our second small group meeting and we will officially start on the material we got. I can't wait for that either.

Gotta admit....I have a lot to look forward to and be thankful for!!

Hungry

2011-11-14T18:16:00.001-05:00

So, I had one of those days where I just could not get full...or more accurately...I couldn't stop being hungry. I felt like my metabolism was going full steam and I just couldn't get enough.

This is how my day went:
Frosted mini wheats
Coffee with hazelnut creamer
One mini Milky Way
Ham and cheese sandwich with chips
Small beef stick
String cheese
Orange
One orange taffy
Two good size helpings of Pasta - Penne, Chicken, Onions, and Broccoli with cream sauce....and then I was full! I am stuffed and it feels darn good. I know I am not supposed to eat until I am stuffed, but the pasta was just so good. I love broccoli :)

Ok, now I have my curiosity up and feel the need to see exactly how many calories I ingested. So, same list as above, just all in numbers:

203
80
38
492
40
80
65
26
533
=1557

I did a quick search on all those numbers, so they may not all be that accurate, but still for a day that I felt like I ate too much, I really didn't do so bad! Some random internet calorie calculator tells me I need 1790 to maintain my weight and I am well under that.
On another yet very similar note, I put in 18.3 miles last week! I haven't run that much in a week in a long time...or ever. I am not sure, since I haven't always been good at keeping track. But, 18 miles, I am proud of and if that makes my metabolism sky rocket, I am more than happy with that. How many miles will I get in this week? We will see....

I run so I can eat...yes ma'am. :)

Good stuff.

2011-11-14T10:32:00.001-05:00

I tried a dress on yesterday that I haven't worn since Mark and I first got married. I have tried it on a couple times over the years and it was always hard to zip up or wouldn't zip up at all. Yesterday, I was able to zip it up without issue! It was still just a tad snug, but definitely wearable....ya know, if it was 80 degrees because it is a summer dress. But, hey maybe I will be ready to wear it next summer without worrying about it looking too snug at all! Very good stuff.

I was getting frustrated with my finances. Trying to budget this and that and every possible upcoming thing that...might come up. Well, the rest of this month was looking tighter than usual. I was a bit depressed about it. I keep a spreadsheet of all our bills and finances. I like using this because I can track where the money is going and also have an idea of what to expect in upcoming months. Well, I was running through the bills this morning and I realized that I had an extra 400 dollar debit listed for the second half of November. I know...you are thinking, really? an extra 400 dollars just typed in wrong? Well, I did. I put it under the 11/16 bills AS WELL AS under my 12/1 bills. Oops. Well, I just got 400 dollars richer and that makes me happy. I may just be able to do a little Christmas shopping this month after all:) Good stuff!

Also, while I was looking at my financial spreadsheet, I started getting excited because so many of our debts are getting closer to being paid off. We still have more, but we are getting there. I think 2012 will be a very good year financially. I hope I didn't jynx myself, but there it is. As of right now, on average, we pay out about 500 dollars a month towards debt. That does not include car and house loans. We will probably continue to pay that much out for quite a while, but in 2012 that amount of different debts will change. We won't be trying to pay ten different people, it will be more like 4 or 5. And really, the majority of it is medical debt. I don't foresee that changing any time soon, it seems like that just keeps on coming. As we get older and the kids get older, that will probably get worse. Which is why it is even more important for us to get caught up on some of this so we don't feel so overwhelmed when new bills come in.
At any rate, it was good stuff because I saw a light at the end of the tunnel!

I think there was another "good stuff" topic that I had, but I can't recall it right now (figures)

Road Hawg Classic 2011

2011-11-12T15:03:00.001-05:00

I had a great morning with my brother today. It is oh so nice that I can share these running experiences with him. Seriously. Priceless.

The Road Hawg Classic in Battle Creek at the Air National Guard Base: It was my second time running this race and Brett's first. I like this race because the course is nice and flat (always a plus), it is wide open (part of it is across the tarmac), and it is a smaller event (I think under 200 people). Big events are nice as well, but the smaller events are sometimes just more my speed.

Brett and I were both a bit apprehensive about the cold, but we both dressed accordingly and we did just fine, we even got a bit too warm because the sun was out. I think the temperature during the race was about 35 degrees or so. I hadn't run this year outside in the cold yet, so I wasn't sure how my breathing would do, but again, it was just fine. I kept a steady pace that I was proud of and finished the race in 25:47. Not my personal record, but certainly not my worst.

Brett was hoping to do well, but didn't feel up to par starting out that morning, so he didn't have his hopes up much. Well, he ended up with his personal record! 21:41. Excellent time!

This is a picture of us after the race. We both ran with warm winter hats on, but it got too warm to keep them on after;) We sat around and drank some water and coffee and ate some bananas, oranges, bagels, and some nutter butters. Good snacks;)
They gave awards out to the overall winners and to the 1st place winners in each age group. Brett got 10th overall and 1st in his age group, so he got a hand towel with "U.S. Air Force Road Hawg Classic" embroidered on it. I got 24th overall and 3rd in my age group. The overall winners got trophies which were replica 30mm bullets, pretty cool I thought.

After the awards ceremony, we decided to get something to eat. We weren't familiar with the restaurants in the area, but found one that was open. A small cafe/greasy spoon type place. Brett went with the double bacon cheeseburger (he could only finish half, the plates were huge!).

And I went with the olive burger. Greasy, but tasty. LOTS of olives, which is always a plus.
I know, I know... we run for 3 miles and then fill our bellies with grease and fat. Well, I have no excuse, but it was good :)

The goody bag from the race, included all of this (and a long sleeve t-shirt). Sometimes the goody bags don't have much, this was a bit more than I expected, lol. Everyone likes "free stuff" :)

Next race? I am not sure. I am already signed up for the half marathon in Kalamazoo next year (May), but I will probably do another 5k before that...or maybe a 10k, who knows.
Running = Good.

I am a runner

2011-11-10T16:41:00.001-05:00

It was a long day. I was exhausted. Mark was gone most of the afternoon/evening because he had given a friend a ride to Chicago.
I put the kids to bed and laid on the couch with my laptop and watched a show on hulu. I didn't even have the energy to pick the toys up off the floor in the living room. Or refill the milk cups for the morning. Or to do the dishes leftover from dinner. I would wait a little while and make sure the kids were asleep and then the plan was to hop on the treadmill.
Half way through the show, my eyes were getting very heavy. Very...heavy....snooze. All of a sudden I woke up and hulu was playing the next show in my queue. Apparently I slept through the show I was watching and hulu had auto started another.
I checked my watch and it was 8:42. Good, I hadn't slept too long. Only about 45 minutes. My evening wasn't wasted. I was still super tired, but I made myself get up and I gathered my laundry from the dryer and brought it downstairs to put it away. I don't mind doing laundry, but I really don't like putting laundry away. If you knew how much I didn't like it, you would realize that me putting my laundry away after an exhausting day and a little snooze is a BIG accomplishment.
I planned on watching a show at 9pm and would run at the same time. I turned on the TV. Darn. Cables out. I tried different channels. I tried resetting the cable box and modem. Nothing worked. Ah well, will go back to just listening to music.
I usually turn the treadmill on and start running and I adjust the speed whenever I darn well please. This day though, I decided to try one of the pre set routines. I picked one with ups and downs and went with it. I would run for 30 minutes and see what I could do.
The treadmill started out at 2.5 miles per hour. Way. Too. Slow. I am not the fastest runner, but I am a runner, not a walker. I bumped the speed up to 5 and went from there. After a minute it changed to 8 mph. After another minute, back down to 6mph. Another minute 7.5. Then 5.5. Then 8 and 6 again. You get the drift. Every minute a change of pace. 5 and 6mph is an easy pace for me. 7.5 and 8, well that is a bit of a push. I was sweating quite a bit. And the "push" and change of pace was quite refreshing. It put me out of my comfort zone a bit. Which is quite important when training...or whatever you want to call it.
At one point, I was getting quite tired. I mean, I started out the run exhausted, but I was determined to get a good run in. My legs felt good in the beginning, but then I was feeling the strain and tiredness.
But then, all of a sudden, I get this rush of pride in me. I had a incredible day of work craziness, kid craziness, and a million other thoughts, stresses, and worries surrounding me. It was a full day. No one would think I was crazy for just lounging and relaxing. But no, I am on the treadmill giving my heart, brain, and body a good work out. What it hadn't gotten all day.
So, I tightened my abs, I kept my shoulders broad, I kept my back straight, and I focused on my stride.
This is when running is great. When you realize that no matter how tired you are, you love to do it. You love the feeling of the sweat dripping off your forehead. You love the feeling of your legs and hips aching. You even get a sense of pride because of the chafing from your big toe and smaller toe rubbing together (thank God I remembered the band aid this time). You can feel your lungs pumping. And breathing in and out just to keep your endurance up...well, it is a great thing. It is amazing what our bodies can do, what they are capable of. Truly amazing. If you aren't using your body to its fullest extent, well that makes me sad.
I tapered off at the end running 5mph minute and 4.5 mph minute and I finished the 30 minutes with running 3.2 miles.
Shower time. I earned that shower. Yes I did.
I got in to some comfies and sat down to watch Pan Am. Mark came home shortly after and ended up picking up the toys and doing the dishes. Love that. It all worked out in the end :)

Now, that was yesterday. Today I plan on getting a long run in. If I can manage it, I want to run for at least an hour...or two. This will be my last day of running before my 5k on Saturday. Brett and I will be running in Battle Creek at the Road Hawg Classic. Last year, I ran this race and had a horrible time. Mostly due to my stupid decision to give blood the day before. With that fact, plus the cold, well it made for a grueling slow run. I will redeem myself this year. Yes I will.

slowly but surely

2011-11-08T16:11:00.001-05:00

Warning: This is a vent post. You can either read it or not, it doesn't matter. It is really just for me anyway. For me to clear my brain of clutter and for me to look back on later in life. It isn't necesarily a reflection of each day in my life. And posts like this sometimes seem depressing, but it really is quite the opposite. I am proud of my crazy, busy, exhausting life. I am happy to have so much to enjoy, endure, and be thankful for. It is what makes me, me.

I haven't ran since October 25th. This makes me so sad, but honestly I am not sure there was a way to avoid it. The last couple of weeks just seem like a blur. Priorities in my life are constantly shifting balance. Which is ok I think because it means that the various things in my life have a chance at being top priority.
Work has been insane. Just a lot to do, one thing after the other. If I ever get some down time, there is a back log of work that needs to be done as well. So, really there is just no letting up. I do need to actually schedule a break or lunch time.   That way I will actually take one. Something to work on.
If I am not drowning in work, the family keeps me busy. Oh, ya know...the usual...meals, groceries, toys, cleaning, laundry, school stuff, etc. And just getting the quality time in with everyone. If I was a single mom, I don't know how I would do it because Mark does A LOT and it seems like there is always just more and more.
And really above all, my family is my top priority no matter what. I have to work to make money, but I always try and make sure to get that quality time in with every one.
And then of course, I crave and need a little alone/down time. I usually get that after everyone has gone to bed and I usually watch some shows or read a book.
Also, lately I have been doing a lot of cleaning and organizing. This is always an ongoing thing in my world, but I have really been tackling some projects that have been weighing on me. And that is usually how it goes. I will have something that I keep thinking about and pushing off for a long time and then finally it all comes to a head and I just dive in and get-r-done no matter what.
So,
1. I did more cleaning in the blue bedroom upstairs. Eventually we will be able to move Aydan in there, so he can have a room of his own. This was a lot of hauling boxes up and down the stairs.
2. I sorted and repacked all of my kitchen storage boxes. Gathered a few more items I will use now and packed up the rest so it fits better and uses less storage room. I also found the broken glass in one of the boxes and took care of that...luckily there was only one broken glass.
3. With Dan's help, I brought the treadmill downstairs.
4. I sorted, organized, and consolidated more of our boxes that are in the back of the basement.
5. I organized my desk, but that still needs more work...it seems like 2 days later it was a mess again, lol.
6. I organized everything against the wall in the kitchen and switched out a shelf.
7. And then there was some other little various things I organized...piles of stuff here and there, counter top items, kids coloring stuff, etc. Ya know how it all piles up...
8. And this isn't cleaning, but I spent most of Thursday and Friday preparing chocolate goodies to sell at the Bazaar on Saturday.

So, next weighing on my mind:
1.  organize a spot for the treadmill downstairs and move the treadmill to that spot.
2. paint two of the bedrooms upstairs.
3. try and budget in some carpet for the two bedrooms. get measurements for each room
4.

-----------------------------------------------------------

So, that post, I started yesterday...and that is as far as I got. Work got crazy, life got crazy, and well I just didn't make it back to the post to finish it.

The rest of my weighing on my mind list:
4. Add items to sell on ebay. Seriously...I can't just let this stuff sit around any longer. I no longer need pez in my life and these comic books...well, I don't read them neither does anyone else.
5. rearrange the downstairs living room to create more usable space.
6. package and ship Mom's box of goodies and what nots.

1. ~~organize a spot for the treadmill downstairs and move the treadmill to that spot.~~ Done!
7. ~~contact Krups and see if I can get a paddle for my ice cream maker. this thing has been sitting around for um...8 years? at least. either order the part and use the darn thing or get rid of it.~~   Turns out that part is not available any longer...so ice cream maker goes in the trash:(
8. ~~run!!!~~ Done!
I was able to get in 6 miles on the treadmill last night. It was fabulous. Mark and I had a couple couples come over last night for our first "small group" meeting. It went great and I truly hope we can keep this group going for a long time because I think we can all benefit from each other.  All of our kids played pretty well together and I think that is good for them too!
After everyone left, it was almost 9 o'clock at night. Mark had made plans to watch the Bears with a friend, so he took off to catch the rest of the game with him. I put the kids to bed and they went down pretty easy. They were running around like crazy people for most of the evening and it was an hour and a half past their bedtime, so I am not surprised that they were out pretty fast.

I had moved the treadmill after work, but before small group (boy, that was a task an a half since I had to turn it to the side and drag it, I couldn't use the wheels but "there is always a way") so I had it ready to go. It was 20 to 10 and I turned on the tv and hopped on. I wanted to get a good long run in, so I set the time to 60 minutes. Once I started running and flipping through channels, I realized that Castle would be on at 10. I wasn't sure if I could manage it, but I really want to just keep running all the way through the show. In total, I ran 6 miles and it took a little under an hour and 15 minutes.
Before I started running (and a couple days before), my body has just been really achy. My hips and legs and back especially. I am sure it is probably just from all the boxes I hauled and sorting and organizing. So, I wasn't entirely sure how the run would go. And I did ache through most of it, but it was a good ache. Half way through I was pretty tired, but I pushed through, finished Castle while running, and then enjoyed a well deserved, much need shower! Then I put on some comfy clothes and watched a couple episodes of Hart of Dixie before crawling in to bed at 1:30am. I stayed up too late, but the day was productive, fun filled, challenging, and oh so worth it.

I am a firm believer that if you can't crawl in to bed and NOT remember all the things you did that day...well then you didn't do enough :)

loading....loading....

2011-11-02T16:17:00.000-04:00

I am doing some testing for work and the page is taking forever to load...and then it errors...so I try something different and then we are back to it taking forever to load. And I can't stand to "sit idle" ~~for~~ ~~any length~~...at all, so I thought I would start a blog post that I probably won't finish.

An hour or so ago, I went upstairs to get my pork loin in the oven. I turned the oven on. I seasoned up the pork loin. I put it in the pan. Washed my hands, etc etc. I came downstairs and got back to work. Well, an hour later Mark came home with the kids and I came upstairs to see how Charly's day at school went. I walk in the kitchen and the pork loin is sitting on the counter. At first I think...Did Mark take it out of the oven? Is it done?. I turn around and the oven is off. I look closer at the pork loin and it is indeed still raw. (lots of seasoning on the top...it was hard to tell at a quick glance). Mark says "oh, did you need that on?".
So, apparently I turned the oven on, but just never put the pork in the oven. And when Mark came home, he assumed I left the oven on (as I do A LOT) and turned it off for me.
So, I had plenty of time to roast the pork loin and let it rest before dinner, but now I just don't have that much wiggle room. It is a small loin, it shouldn't take too long to cook anyhow, ah well.

Is it sad that I am not surprised that all that happened?

Little things

2011-10-31T09:32:00.000-04:00

Sometimes you just have to appreciate the little things in life.

The other day, I busted open the new toothbrushes. The package advertised that it had a "massager and tongue cleaner". I don't know about the tongue cleaner...personally, I just brush my tongue the same way I do my teeth. But, the massager part, pretty cool. While I am brushing my teeth, those little nobby things on the back massage the rest of my mouth. Not bad at all.

So, for quite a while I have been using those cheap plastic pink razors. I get them at Dollar General and they do the trick. Well, a while ago I got the cheap plastic pink razors from the actual Dollar Store and well, they were "cheaper" plastic pink razors. Ridiculously horrible. I suffered through them for a while...ya know, to get my dollar's worth, lol. But, the other day I decided to get an actual razor. I am quite pleased. It is seriously night and day as some of you may already know.

Sliced bread? Yeah, that was good stuff. But, this little stretchy key chain thing (yeah, I don't know the official name), well this takes the cake. I don't know why I didn't give in to these things before. I think I thought they looked silly. But ya know, I don't care now. With kids especially, I don't think I can do without this thing. When it is time to go, I just wrap this around my wrist to hold my keys. After I park, I wrap it around my wrist. No more searching around to figure out which pocket I stuffed them in while balancing a kid and bags. No more leaving the keys in my pocket after I have gotten home and then wonder where they are later. I put them on my wrist while I get shoes and coat off of me and the kids and then I put the keys right in the basket for easy finding. Seriously, so much better.

There was something else I was going to put here and for the life of me, I can not remember what it was. As the day goes on though, I am sure I will figure it out ...yeah, we will see.

Oh, I just remembered! As I was about to click "publish post", it came to me. Ha ha, that is how it goes.

So, for a while now I have dealt with Keratosis pilaris. Yes, it is sort of "google diagnosed". That is what a dermatologist told me a long time ago that I had on my face. He prescribed Retin-A when I was a teenager and it helped a lot. I have had minimal problems on my face ever since. I have had issues on my upper arms for quite some time though. And with my OCD tendancies, I picked a lot at my arms. Frustrating bad habit. :( Of course, I never had more than one tube of Retin-A and I just never really went out of my way to make an appointment with a dermatologist again. So, I did what I do best and I googled the heck out of it. And what did I come up with? Someone that claimed that Neutrogena body wash does the trick. I have never been one to buy anything near expensive as far as body care supplies go, but I took the plunge and bought a bottle. Why not? It was much cheaper than some of the skin treatments that are out there.

Verdict? Within DAYS, yes DAYS my arms were better. I was amazed and a bit shocked that I was already seeing improvement after just a couple days. I actually thought I might be imagining it...or had too much wishful thinking. But, it really was getting better. My arms were visibly better, 90% less bumps, and they didn't itch hardly at all.
Now, that was a while ago and I am currently out of Neutrogena body wash. I am using up another body wash that I had. I was curious to see if my arms would go back to what they were like before I started using the Neutrogena. Verdict? They haven't gotten nearly as bad as they were (90% better down to 80% better), but I do think that I will buy more Neutrogena and stick with that from now on.
So, I am a happy camper to say the least. AND, it comes in grapefruit, one of my favorite scents when it comes to soap! Win win.

2011-10-27T15:45:00.000-04:00

There is really only one way to solve this problem.....

tech savvy

2011-10-26T22:50:00.000-04:00

The speakers on the tv are pretty crappy. They work fine when we use the dvd player, but for regular tv they just don't. Have not been able to figure out why. We have to turn the volume way up and can still barely hear the sound plus there is a buzzing.
Well, I hooked up the surround sound and it is sooo much better.
Crappy tv speakers vs. Bose speakers. Bose win hands down. Why didn't we do this a long time ago? Who knows, just wasn't high on the priority list and I didn't realize how easy it would be.

I am feeling accomplished.... :)

Cereal

2011-10-26T22:24:00.000-04:00

Ok, remember the egg post? incredible-edible-eggand-weird-me Well, this is the "frosted mini wheat...weird me" post. Because yes, I am psycho about my cereal too...in particular, frosted mini wheats. My favorite cereal! Seriously, I think I could eat it every day and not get tired of it.

Here goes....

Step 1: Add cereal to your bowl and put in just the right amount of milk. This takes time to learn because you want enough milk to have each piece be soaked well, but not too much because well...I don't like to drink the milk at the end.

Step 2: Take a bite. Now, I always have to have the frosting facing up. And the spoon needs to be full with the milk to have the right mini wheat/milk ratio.

Step 3: As I am eating each bite (least frosted to most frosted of course!), I flip over the remaining pieces so that the frosting is on top. That way I can scoop them up with the correct side on top and also so I can figure out which piece should be eaten next based on the amount of frosting.

Step 4: As I get down to the bottom of the bowl, I tip the bowl to the side so that I can still get the most amount of milk on the spoon with the bite.

Step 5: You see that little halfsey? Yeah, that is because Peyten comes up and has to have some of my cereal too. I break them in half for her. Yeah, even though I am particular about my food...I find room to share :)

Step 6: All done. Should be barely any milk left. And now I go and wash the bowl or at least clean it because as we know...if those little bitty wheat pieces dry up, they are a pain in the rear to clean off.

Yep, that's it.

Shopping

2011-10-26T22:02:00.000-04:00

I just got back from grocery shopping without the kids. It was quite enjoyable. I like going grocery shopping with the kids, but it is a bit less stressful without them. It is actually calming. I love moseying through the isles, checking prices/deals, and thinking up recipe ideas. And then of course there is organizing all the items in the cart. And after I check out, organizing all the groceries in the bags so they fit neatly. And then putting the bags in the back of the Jeep, the bags are rectangular so they fit in oh so nicely. And lastly, putting them all away in the fridge and cupboards. Everything has a place. It is comforting to me and for as long as I can remember, I have always loved groceries. And I have said before, if I could make a living out of grocery shopping, I totally would.

On the flip side, I am always a bit saddened at the grocery stores. There is so much processed and crappy food out there and it is taking over grocery stores. I try and veer away from all of that, but of course we eat our fair share too. Honestly though, while shopping, most of the time I don't even go down the frozen isle or the snack/chip isle. I hit the meat, dairy, produce, baking, and a couple other isles in the middle...canned tomatoes, pasta, rice etc. I try and stay away from processed, chemically induced food. "I try". There are some exceptions for sure. For one thing, non processed food costs less and it tastes better and it is better for me.
I am finally getting to a point...slowly but surely...that over salty food, tastes...over salty. Food with a lot of sugar, tastes...like a food with a lot of sugar. My tongues is not nearly as numb as it has been. Ketchup is gross to me. Pop is super sweet. A lot of prepared foods are salty. I still have a long way to go before I am eating super healthy, but I am slowly working my way to that. Slowly.

Contrast

2011-10-25T12:45:00.000-04:00

Such a necessary part of life. There is the obvious good vs. evil, which we just won't get in to. No, I am not in a "deep" mood today. Today, I just appreciate how much I love a clean microwave. But, would I appreciate that clean microwave as much if I didn't let it get so ridiculously dirty? Probably not. A clean bathroom? Same thing...if it didn't get so dirty, I would recognize and truly appreciate how nice a clean bathroom is.
The Jeep handles oh so nicely. I mean it turns on a dime. I probably wouldn't even notice that if I hadn't driven a minivan for the last couple of years.
I wouldn't enjoy the laughter of my children and family as much if I didn't have the lonely times in my life.
And organization wouldn't be the wonderful that it is, if I didn't have disorganization.

Well, obviously...I could go on and on with this....but I think you get the point. I am just happy that I have contrast in my life. I am blessed that I have sad and happy. Dark and light. Poor and rich. It helps me keep my life in perspective and it helps me realize to always appreciate life...even when sad, dark, or poor...because there will always be balance with happy, light, and rich. It is all about perspective and I choose to enjoy it all no matter what.

Small group

2011-10-24T21:03:00.000-04:00

Tonight we got together with a couple from church and also our pastor to go over some details of starting a small group. We are uber excited. It looks like we are going to meet every other Monday starting either next week or the following. And we are probably going to have our focus on parenting. There are three couples including us that want to participate so far. I would be happy to keep it that small, but I would also be happy to make it bigger. We will just see what happens.
I am just excited to see where this leads and to get that time in with other couples from church. Pastor Jeff is going to get us some discussion materials based off the movie Courageous. It should be good. :)

Focus?

2011-10-24T10:23:00.000-04:00

I am having trouble focusing today. I don't want to work, I just want to crawl back in to my bed and go to sleep. I am not really even that tired, I just crave that cuddled up warm feeling. I love that. I love cooler weather because it makes my bed and covers that much more comfy, but at the same time, it makes it that much more difficult to get out of it. Ah well, such is life.
Well, crawling back in to bed is not an option, so I am just going to have to figure out a way to motivate myself and get my butt in gear.

This weekend was great. I got home from Oklahoma on Friday and it was nice to not have to get back to work right away. Saturday we had no plans except to rest and relax. Mark didn't get much sleep while I was gone since he couldn't take his sleeping pills and still be able to hear the kids through the night. So, he slept in Saturday morning for a while. I got up with the kids and eventually got antsy and got started cleaning the blue bedroom. I spent quite a few hours on that...and the kids "helped". After a while, I just couldn't do anymore and I was pooped. My legs and back were aching from making trips up and down the stairs.
Charly had cheerleading and instead of taking all the kids we decided Mark would just take her and I stayed home with Aydan and Peyten. The kids and I made some no bake cookies together. They had a good time doing that. For the rest of the evening, we just relaxed and watched some toons. Once the cookies had cooled, we had milk and cookies. Boy, that hit the spot...I hadn't had those in a while. And along with the milk, it was a perfect combo.
Mark and Charly got home right about bed time. Charly had fun cheering, but they had a scare at one point because Charly decided to sneak off with one of the other cheerleaders and no one could find her for about ten minutes. Needless to say Mark was scared and angry. Apparently the girl said she would buy Charly some candy at the concession stand and then I think they ended up going to the bathroom. The coach didn't see Charly leave either. Aye. Hopefully Charly learned a lesson.

Sunday Charly and I went to church for Sunday school and Mark, Aydan, and Peyten came later for church. After church, Mark had plans to go watch the Bears play at his friends house.
At home, Garry and Cindy brought home some subs for lunch and after we ate I put Peyten down for a nap. I wanted her to get in a good nap. And the rest of us just had a relaxing afternoon at home.
After Peyten woke up from her 3 hour nap, I loaded the kids up and headed out to run some errands.

First, I was going to stop at a park and let the kids play, but the park that I intended to go to...the street was closed, so I gave up and just went to McDonalds and we went ahead and grabbed some food and then I let them play in the playland for a while. Crazy in there....just crazy. The kids had a lot of fun though. It was a little easier to play once the ten other kids left.

We had a lot of stops to make, so we got on the road and the next stop was Meijer to return bottles. The kids love to help with that. I also picked up my supplies to make some laundry soap while I was there. I ended up getting $1.89 back - so the bottles and soap supplies canceled each other out. Oh, and we gandered at the Halloween costumes...trying to find a pumpkin one for Aydan. He was set on being a pumpkin this year. Meijer did not have one.

Next stop was Aldi, but I didn't realize they closed at 6pm on Sunday...and it was 6:10. I am just glad I didn't get all the kids out of the car and THEN realize it was closed. Aye.

Target next. We picked up some diapers and wipes and checked out their costumes. Nope, no pumpkins for Aydan. We did take a bathroom break while we were here and Peyten went tinkle on the toilet! She has gone a couple times now...so proud :)

Next stop, Big Lots. We pulled in at 10 to 7 and it closed at 7, so we hurried as fast as we could. They had a pumpkin costume, but it was too little for Aydan. Not sure why he was so set on being a pumpkin. He just got the idea in his head and stuck with it.

After that, I was about ready to give up, but Charly was pretty persistent about wanting to stop at the Halloween store, so we went ahead. Well, the only pumpkin costume they had was too little as well. Charly saw lots of stuff she wanted, but we didn't get anything there.
Charly had an outfit at home picked out for Halloween, but of course...while in the stores, she wants something "new". And especially since Aydan was getting something new.

I thought we would go to just one more store. We pulled in to WalMart to see what they had there. Peyten was starting to get tired, but she wasn't cranky, so that was good. WalMart didn't have pumpkin costumes, but we decided to get something else. Aydan seemed ok with that. He ended up deciding on a Ninja costume. And charly ended up getting a "country diva" costume. Basically, a sequined dress that she is going to where her pink cow girl boots with and will carry a microphone and we will do up here hair real cute. It is totally "charly"
.
Aydan tried on his costume when he got home and he thought it was too big...but it really isn't. He just needs some time to get used to it and then he will have fun with it. We just need to get him a sword and he is all set.
We are going to dress Peyten up as Punky Brewster. We think she will make a good one :)

Ok, enough rambling...I need to get to work!

Oklahoma

2011-10-23T22:44:00.000-04:00

I just got back from visiting my mom and step dad in Oklahoma. I hitched a ride with my step dad's parents. And I didn't bring Mark or any kids with me. I would have loved to bring them, but it didn't work out that way this time. So, yes it would have been nice, but it was also nice to have some down time from my crazy life.
We left Thursday morning and got to Oklahoma Friday afternoon. And then we stayed for a week, leaving the following Thursday. Let's see if I can do a quick recap of the events...well, lets see if I can remember.

Thursday afternoon - Cracker Barrel, a must have for Les while traveling.
Thursday night - hotel stay and Domino's pizza

Friday morning - continental breakfast, 6:30am we were on the road.
We arrived in OK around 12:30 that afternoon. Mom made chicken salad on croissants.
And then I was able to get in a 2 mile run.
Friday evening consisted of relaxing and nachos for dinner. Oh, and a trip out to get some Cherry Berry frozen yogurt. Mine had a mix of chocolate and espresso yogurt topped with brownie, strawberries, and granola.

Saturday morning I woke up early and watched some hulu while still in my bed before moseying downstairs. Mom made some bacon frittatas. Oh so yummy along with some toast.
Saturday afternoon the ladies went in to town to do some window shopping and Mom ended up buying me a much needed haircut. I got some layers, I like it.
We stopped at my grandpa's house and visited with him for a few.
Then we met up with the boys for lunch at an Irish pub. Bleu cheese burger with hot sauce and a side of Guinness really hit the spot!
Let's see,then we stopped at an estate sale before heading back to the house.
I believe there was more relaxing at this point. That is an important thing to do while vacationing. I do believe I was going to get a run in, but ended up napping too long and decided not to. Yeah...rough. lol
We went light for dinner and had some hot dogs on the grill.
Later that evening, we went in to town to a hay ride through a cemetery. It was pretty cool. They had a horse and carriage (which carried about 12 of us) and we rode through the cemetery in the pitch black and at different times, the carriage would stop and a reenactor would walk out from behind a grave and tell us a story about the person buried there. It was pretty interesting and we got to know a bit more about Enid, OK.

Sunday morning we had breakfast at a place called Jimmy's Egg. Tasty. I had potatoes, sausage, onions, peppers with some over easy eggs on top.
Now, I am drawing a blank. I think we just went back to the house and relaxed. Oh, I think there was football involved and I did get a good run in. About 3-1/2 miles. Oh, and mom and I went to the grocery store to pick up some supplies for dinner on Monday.
For dinner Mom made some of her homemade pizza and we had salad too. It hit the spot. Very good.

Monday morning. Let's see, we started out the day with some over easy eggs and English muffins. Or at least I did...I think everyone had a little different breakfast that day.
We all got around and headed out for Ponca City, which was about an hour away. We stopped in town and had lunch first at a Bistro. I had a roast beef panini with horseradish cream and mushrooms. The sandwich was good, but the mushrooms were canned...disappointing. I have a pet peeve about that...I am not sure when canned mushrooms are ever a good idea. Anyway, I am getting off track. There was soup too, but I really wasn't too impressed with that either. Honestly, I think the restaurant would be much better if they didn't dumb down their food. The ambiance and menu were impressive. Anyway...again, getting off track!
After lunch we went to the Marland mansion. Interesting tour. I do love walking through houses like that...so much history. And of course, great dining room! I would take it in a heart beat.
After the mansion, we did some driving around and eventually went back to the house.
Mom and I caught up on some work and then got dinner started. We had Parmesan Chicken, gnocchi with pesto, brussel sprouts, corn, and homemade bread. We made the gnocchi from scratch and Mom and Joanie handled the rolling. Joanie has fond memories of making gnocchi when she was little.
Dinner was wonderful and definitely filling.

Tuesday...let's see. Everyone was on their own for breakfast. I enjoyed some cinnamon rolls that Joanie had picked up at the store the day before.
I think I caught up on some work for a while. And for lunch we had some leftovers. I made myself a chicken salad croissant and a salad.
Then Mom, Joanie and I went out and hit some second hand stores. I found a couple of shirts and Joanie found a dress for her Halloween costume. Oh, and then we hit Hobby Lobby so I could pick up a few things for the kids. Ya know...gotta bring something home for them :)
At some point, I was able to get in a near 5 mile run. That was nice.
For dinner we all went out to a Chinese Buffet and of course...ate way too much!!

Wednesday, we started the day out with some three minute eggs. Mom kept talking about them and I had never had them. So, of course we had to have them! They were very good.
Mom and I had to work, so we stayed home while Joanie and Les did some sight seeing. Dave had to work too that day.
Mom and I figured out to utilize some leftover fried cod and made some fish tacos for lunch. Very good. I hadn't had fish tacos in a while...
At 3 o'clock we went and picked up my grandpa and brought him back to the house. We kept track of work stuff and also got in some hands of Cribbage. Grandpa beat me 3 out of 4 games. But, I came close...and did actually beat him once. Cards are so addictive. I hope when I retire, I can play all. the. time. We heated up some leftovers for dinner. Parmesan Chicken, brussel sprouts, and salad. Grandpa just had salad...he doesn't each much, especially in the evening.
He hung out for a while and we took him home a little later.
Dave had met up with Joanie and Les for dinner and they brought us home some Cannoli's. Yum!
Mom indulged me in another game of Cribbage and we watched tv before moseying to bed.

Thursday came quick. I was excited to go home and see my family, but new I would miss Mom and Dave. We ended up having breakfast at Cafe Garcia before heading out of town. I had some chorizo breakfast tacos. Very good.
We said our good byes and were on the road by 9am. We stopped for lunch at Bob Evan's and we made it almost to St. Louis and we stayed at a hotel for the night.
Luckily this hotel had an exercise room. I was able to get some weights in and a 3 mile run. Which I needed after the dinner at Cracker Barrel. Chicken tenderloins, mac n cheese, and turnip greens. I love greens...why don't I eat them more often? Same with brussel sprouts. I mean, seriously...when I do eat greens (collard, turnip, etc) or brussel sprouts, it is like I just can't get enough of them. Love. Them.

Thursday night I couldn't fall asleep. I don't know if I slept too much in the car or if I was just too excited to see my family. Or really, probably both. But, I laid in bed and watch hulu until about 2am. Finally I drifted off to sleep. We got up the next morning, had some continental breakfast and were on our way.
I got home about 5pm. That is the best feeling to walk in the door and see your family so happy to see you. And of course, to have three little ones tackle you and all hug and kiss you at the same time. Seriously good stuff.

Great trip. It was great to see my mom and Dave and also to get to know Joanie and Les even more. Long overdue.

2011-10-12T16:31:00.000-04:00

How soon do you have an opening?
It looks like we don't have anything available until next week Tuesday.
Hmm...I really need to get an appointment sooner than that, can you check again?
Well, actually it looks like we may have a small window on Friday, can you make it to that?
Friday? Yeah, I think I could work that in.
Ok, Friday it is. The toilet will see you then!

Yeah...a life of a parent. Scheduling time to use the restroom. If you enjoy a life of using the restroom whenever you please, well make sure you appreciate and enjoy that luxury.

~~The other day~~...~~Tuesday~~....yesterday...yeah, it really was only yesterday. Boy, time moves slow when you have a lot to do. I took a couple minutes to go to the bathroom and when I came out, Peyten had lipstick all over her hands, the carpet, and a dining room chair. The lipstick still has not been found to this day. Seriously, I had left the room for less than five minutes! I really don't know where she got it either. I had been in my make up that morning when I was drawing a mustache on Charly's face (spirit week at school), but I really didn't think she had snagged a lipstick while we were in there. And if she did, she must have taken it out of the bathroom, hid it, only to reemerge with it hours later...while I happened to be in the bathroom. Yeah, seriously? Lip stick is hard to get out, let me tell you.

Days usually aren't so difficult. I mean, Mark usually handles the kids during the day and I am free to use the restroom when I please. Ya know...in between phone calls, IM's, and emails.
But, Mark's back went out on Sunday night and it is still not doing so good. He is in a lot of pain and has a lot of trouble walking, getting up and down, etc. It had been so long since his back has gone out like this. I guess we got too confident and jinxed it or something. We really can not remember the last time he was flat on his back. Six months? A year? But, oh well, he will heal and be back to walking around in no time. We make do with what we have. No worries. He got some more pain meds today and we will see how long this lasts, if we need to talk about other options. A shot or something. Not sure what is going on...if it is inflammation, disc out of place, bulging, or what.

I must say though, being full time mom, full time employee for the last 2-3 days, it is tiring! I feel a bit in a daze. Needless to say, I sleep good at night :)

Vent time.

2011-10-07T15:28:00.000-04:00

Do you ever just have one of those days when you feel like you are just running in to the wind? The very cold, strong, fierce wind?
Yeah, that is today. I went in to today pretty optimistic and now it is 2:45 and I have given up on optimism and now I am venting in a public blog post. Yeah, that is what it is there for, right? Blog = perfect space to vent in a sort of introverted way. And truly...it always good to vent where there is spellcheck.

Well, now that I got that useless dribble out of the way...well, what was I going to vent about? Ah yes, running uphill through sand. Got it. Yes, today is one of those days where I do one thing and it doesn't work out. I do another thing and it doesn't work out. I try and do another thing and a road block is up. I think about doing something else and end up feeling defeated before I even start. And then, I want to get back on my feet, but would just rather go to bed now and start fresh tomorrow. Ok, that last part really isn't an option. Although, I am sure my family would survive a day/evening without me. Could I sleep for that long? Yes...yes, I think I could.

Ok, I just got sidetracked with work stuff and now I am back to the blog and the vent is fading...now I just want to lay down and go to sleep. It must be the 3 o'clock lull. It is 3:20 after all. But, with the 3 o'clock lull...I have to start thinking about dinner. Do I want to cook dinner? Do I need to pull something out? Do I need to get something started early? Do I forget it all and just have take out for dinner? Is there anything available that Mark can throw together? Wait, I am hungry now. This is going to get ridiculous.
Oh wait, there is an apple sitting next to me. I forgot that Mark brought that to me. I think I should go get a cup of tea and eat my apple. Ah yes...tea makes everything better.
Now, trying not to think about that long to do list.....

Better

2011-10-06T21:33:00.000-04:00

The pain in my leg/foot? All gone today. Yes, I am very happy about that. Who knows what that was all about, but I am glad it is gone!

Seriously annoying

2011-10-05T22:30:00.000-04:00

Ok, so all day today I was freezing. I just couldn't warm up. And my left leg/foot had been killing me. And right now, it is still hurting pretty bad. It is a odd pain. I feel like something is cutting off my circulation right below my knee and the whole rest of my leg is just hurting. And I keep getting sharp pains going through my toes. Through the three little ones on the left. I thought for a while that it was just because I was so cold. But, now I have warmed up and it is still there. I went for a run earlier and when I first started running, I got a really sharp pain through the top of my left foot. I thought for a second that I wouldn't be able to run, but it went away pretty quick and I was able to run. And actually, my leg didn't hurt at all while I was running. Of course, shortly after I was done, the pain came back full force. And right now it is irritating me so bad! I mean, really this blog post is just so I can complain "out loud" to anyone that will "listen".
So, I am not sure what is going on with my leg/foot, but seriously...it better be gone by morning. Seriously.

Change is in the air

2011-10-03T10:19:00.001-04:00

Life has been going on pretty steady here lately. Just a slow climb upward. And all we can do is wait, follow leads, and see where I life goes.
The kids have been doing well. Just working on growing up as usual. But, this post isn't really about them.
Mark has been doing well. He is still doing physical therapy two times a week and that has helped tremendously. He still has a lot of back pain, but it isn't the same as before and not as debilitating. He has spasms here and there and pretty much aches all day, but his back hasn't gone completley "out" in quite some time. Now he is just trying to stick with the therapy to get his back stronger. He was having the doctor do some adjustments as well, and he very well may get back to that since that seemed to be doing some good too.

My work is going well. I am still with the same two employers that I have been with for the last ...4-5 years. Yikes, I have never worked the same job for that long before! Let alone, two. Crazy! But, I like my bosses very much and I am so grateful to have work that I can do from home and is flexible to work with my family around.

Our van was showing signs of aging and we decided to do a "change up" before we couldn't, so to speak. We ended up with a Jeep Commander. So far, we really like it. There are features that the van had, that the Jeep doesn't, but that is ok. We are losing a little storage room, but we will deal with that. And we don't have a dvd player, but the kids (and us) will deal. The Jeep has the possibility of a dvd player..so we will see if we can add that later, it isn't a high priority of course. The Jeep has some moon roofs. One that opens in the front and two little ones in the back that the kids can look through. The Jeep has a third row, so we still have enough seats for all the kids. And it has remote start..which I think is just the coolest thing since sliced bread. I foresee us using that A LOT this winter. We didn't even realize it had that until we had the Jeep a couple days, lol. It has 4 wheel drive, which will also come in handy. And I thought it would be about the same as the van, but so far I think the Jeep actually does a bit better in gas mileage. And let's just face it, it is more fun to drive. And I get my window in the back that pops open..without opening the entire hatch...I missed that feature since our last Jeep. So, we got a vehicle that has less miles and will be reliable for longer. Fun fun.

Another change is that I got the nursery position at our church. So, I will be keeping an eye on the little ones (which include my kids for now!) during Sunday school and church every week. When I applied for the position, it was actually a tough decision for me...but one that I just felt called to do. I am really going to miss sitting in church. I have come to really "rely" on that time with God each week. But, I will still be able to listen to the sermon through the speaker system...ya know if the kids aren't too loud :) It will take some adjusting, but I think the job will be very rewarding in the long run. And it is just another way that I can be more involved with the church. Change is good.

Yesterday we went to a church sponsored outing with some other couples in the church. We went to see "Courageous". It was done by the same people that made "Fireproof", which Mark and I really enjoyed. The church had child care planned for all our kids, so we left them at the church to play, eat lunch, watch movies, and play games. Us adults all went to eat at Mill Creek Charlie's in Watervliet before we went to the movie in Benton Harbor. I really should (and might) have a separate blog post about the movie. It was an amazing movie and Mark and I are still reeling from it. But, one thing we did figure out during our lunch with everyone was that we are going to start a small group. We have talked about it for a while now and just needed to put everything in motion. So, we will probably doing that on Monday nights. Everyone seemed to be on board. Now we just need to pick a start date!

So, change is good and we are as always, feeling very blessed. I love when I can feel my life moving in the "right" direction.

A rare glimpse in to my brain...scary

2011-09-30T19:04:00.000-04:00

So, earlier today my mind was just constantly going...and I was thinking to myself, "what if I put every thought in to a blog post?". Hmm...well, I probably should have gotten a recorder out because now it is 6 hours later and there is no possible way that I am going to remember all the thoughts and actions...but here goes, I am going to try. Read if you dare....

It was about 11am (I think) and Mark was heading out the door with Aydan. He had some errands to run. And Peyten was gearing up for a nap, so we decided she should stay home.  She has been taking one long nap instead of two short ones lately. Charly was at school. I had switched shifts with my mom, so I wasn't due to start my Dave job until noon. I had already gotten caught up on some Bob work during the morning.
I had put some snacks out for Peyten to munch on before her nap. Pepperoni, crackers, and cheese. She ate some of that and then she "talked" me in to some fruit snacks. She ate most of the pack and then finished by spitting out the last two on the floor. I picked her up to take her to bed and she screamed that she still wanted more crackers and stuff. I sat her down and she stuffed a pepperoni in her mouth. Then another. Then she spit out both of those and threw two crackers on the floor.
Yes, nap time...for sure. I changed her diaper and put her in bed. She didn't really make much noise after that.
I sat down to check on emails and what-not for work. After a bit, it was nearing 11:30 and I remembered that I wouldn't be able to run tonight after work. For one thing, I have to work until 8 instead of 6. Another thing, Mark would probably be going to the football game since it is Friday (and I went last week).  Well so, I decided since I had a half hour before work and there were no fires for my Dave job, and Peyten was napping, that I would sneak a run in on the treadmill.

This is pretty much when my mind started racing.   See, the reason it is hard for me to get long runs in is 1. a half hour is hard enough time slot for me to get to myself. 2. while I am running I find it difficult to NOT think about all the other things I need to be doing. 3. I get bored because I am so used to constantly doing something...even though running is "doing something".
So, it is 11:30 and I grab my mp3 player from my purse. I go downstairs and change in to my running clothes. I grab the extension cord for the treadmill. I grab my water bottle which I had filled up earlier. (which included changing the filter on my pitcher, 'bout time).
Ok, treadmill down and ready to run. The first song that played was the them song to Chariots of Fire. Oh, how appropriate. And the second song was Gold Digger. I know...strange combo :) I found it hard to concentrate on my form on the treadmill. I hadn't run on the treadmill for quite some time, so it took some getting used to.
And then I start to think about everything I need to do as soon as I get off the treadmill. Take shower, take out the trash, testing for work - then the phone rings, I don't recognize the number, so I let it go to voicemail - back to my mental to do list. Spot clean the living room floor, do the dishes, I don't know what else. 2 miles down. I am sweating pretty good and not really in the mood to run more since I have so much to get started on, but I can't just run 2 miles...I need to do 3. I really wish I had time to do more and then I could just settle in, relax, and just run. But, for now running is a scheduled thing... a rushed thing.
I got 3 miles done just before the 30 minute timer. I had about 30 seconds to spare and I had to bump it up to an "8" at the end to make that.
After the run, I checked out the treadmill to try and figure out how to take it apart so I can eventually get it downstairs. Game plan, check.
I chugged some water and unplugged the treadmill and put it up.
I headed downstairs and put up the extension cord.
I grabbed some clothes.
I grabbed a new battery for my mp3 player, since it died as I was finishing my run.
I went upstairs, set my clothes down and while I still had my shoes on, I grabbed a handful of plastic bags to store in the bathroom and used one of them to replace the bathroom trash and then I took the trash outside. Boy was it windy.
I checked emails to make sure there wasn't anything urgent that I needed to hop on. I still had a voicemail to listen to and a couple emails had come in...but nothing that couldn't wait twenty minutes.
I picked up the toys on the living room floor. Ever since I labeled all the containers and sorted the toys a while ago...it is much easier clean up.   I cleaned up the toys in order to get ready to clean the carpet.
I folded the laundry that was out on the kitchen table so I can put it away later easily. Small load.
I kept my mp3 player on through all of this and I *may* have been singing out loud...yeah.
I went and put away all the coats and shoes in the closet that we had used earlier. In the meantime I picked up some dirty socks and put them in on top of the washer. I cleaned up some other stuff in the bathroom and while I was there, I turned the shower on to let it warm up so I wouldn't have to wait for it later. Really, everything I do and think about is to try and make things easier later on. That water takes forever to get hot.
I checked on dishes, but there wasn't too much there...so I didn't worry about that for now.
It seems like I did something else here...but I can't remember.
Time was getting away from me, so I hopped in the shower. Shampoo, Condition, shave, soap. Yes, in that order. And then a quick linger to enjoy the hot water and then it was time to get it out. I love showers....
I got dressed and then brought all my dirty clothes downstairs. That is one thing that is difficult in our house...I wish there was a shower/bathroom closer to all my clothes! :)
And then I went to the kitchen to mix up some hot water and rubbing alcohol...a solution my mom told me about to help with the stains in the carpet. I figured it was worth a shot. I forgot to grab the rags while I was downstairs last time, so i had to make another trip down...ah well, I'm not always efficient!
I spot cleaned the carpet. I didn't get everything because I wanted to see how well the alcohol worked first. So far so good. I will need to do some more scrubbing on the rest another time.
Ok, house is picked up, I did my one good "deep clean deed" for the day, I am showered, I got my exercise in, it is going on 1 o'clock...and I am a little late for work, but I was "available" and I did some work in the morning..so really my time is covered. I got my "me time" in and I feel a bit more caught up then I did two hours before. I say it was a successful hour and a half.
After that it was pretty much work work work. With some lunch mixed in there somewhere. Aydan and Mark were out until it was time to pick up Charly at 3:10 and Peyten slept until 3 o'clock. After everyone was home, I brought my computer downstairs and dove in to work again. Lots to do, lots to do.

I always find it amazing how quickly everything seems to pile up. But, we keep working at it all and it all gets done eventually. I am glad to have Mark, who is on the same page as me and has the same priorities. He keeps up on the dishes, picking up toys, sweeping the floor, laundry, and just general "pick up". I mean...where does it all come from?? I often feel like I am on a tilt a whirl or some ride that is similar and it just never stops. Every once in a while I just give up and just let it all pile up. I usually regret it and get back on the clean up duty shortly after...but maybe those "give up" times are necessary.

Does this post seem scattered? I sure hope so...because that is how I feel! such is life...

Darn you Monday!

2011-09-19T16:16:00.000-04:00

Last week my hands were hurting pretty bad. Today, is no different. And today was also one of those "hit the ground running, never stop clicking and typing" type of days.

So, I use my wrist thingys to help alleviate some pain. When I put them on, it feels like a "good stretch", which is nice. The typing is one thing, but I think it is the change in weather that affects my hands, wrists, and arms the most. It happens every year. Or so I think...if I remember correctly!

Ok, back to work...because yeah, that isn't over yet :)

I will NOT cry over "spilled smoothie"

2011-09-16T12:37:00.000-04:00

I feel like I am in a never ending attempt to find "calm". I mean, I am pretty good at "calm" for a while and then after a while I get a taste of "angry frustrated" and then I seem to stay there. Is it more comfortable? I don't know. But, after a while I realize that I am getting "angry frustrated" at every...little...thing. And that isn't fair to ANYONE IN THE WORLD!! I mean, seriously...what good can "angry frustrated" ever do?? None that I know of. It is stupid. Seriously stupid.

So, the past couple days I have been doing pretty good from what I can tell. And today I had a moment where I saw a glimpse of the dark side "angry frustrated", but I was able to veer away from the dark and stay in the light of "calm" and I was much better for it.

My hunger started going, as usual, around 10:00am. Too early for lunch. Well, I had some strawberries to use up in the fridge and a half container of yogurt. Smoothie time. Plus, Peyten didn't take her nap, so she wasn't sleeping..so I could make noise with the blender. (blessing in disguise?)
Aydan and Peyten were watching some toons in the living room and I came in with my smoothie. Of course, they each wanted a taste.
Aydan liked it, but it was cold! So, he didn't drink much.
Peyten liked it and got down off the couch to come over to my seat to eat more.
I was multi tasking and I was answering an email on my computer with my left hand and holding the cup of smoothie in my right while Peyten drank out of the straw. Well, at some point the straw stayed in her mouth when she pulled her head away...and then dropped on to the blanket that was on my lap. Smoothie chunks and all. Lovely.
Me: "oh whoops! well...well...we will just have to pick up everything and take it to the dining room table to clean it up"
Peyten followed and so I had to make sure to keep the cup of smoothie away from her, so I didn't have another, bigger mess. And I had the blanket rolled up so the smoothie and straw didn't fall off on the floor. At this point, the mess was only on the blanket, easy clean up.
I set the blanket on the table and set the cup farther back so I could go get some paper towels.
Well, the table has a protective pad underneath the table cloth. The protective pad has a gap in it towards the middle of the table. I, for some reason, forgot about this gap and set the cup right on the edge of said gap and of course the cup fell over and a good 1/3 of the smoothie was all over the table cloth.
Me: "urgh!!!"
Peyten: "urgh!!"
Me: (smile) "ok, that is ok, no use getting upset over spilled smoothie." "ok, just one step at a time and you can do this. no big deal"
I got the paper towels, I cleaned up the smoothie from the table cloth. I cleaned up the smoothie from the blanket. I started rolling up the tablecloth and my phone rings. Work call.
Me: (not even an urgh) "ok, Kari you can't answer that right now, you can get the message and call them back. no worries"
I put the blanket and table cloth in the laundry. Put a straw in my smoothie. Grabbed my phone and laptop and I was back at it. Multi tasking. And Peyten stood by me for another 15 minutes as we both polished off the smoothie....with no more spills.
Everyone was happy and I was calm :)

Ironically...or maybe not so ironically...my devotion yesterday was:
2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds,3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.4 Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

It might be slightly out of context, but trials big and small...I believe we should react to them the same way.

Sleep

2011-09-16T09:05:00.000-04:00

If I counted up the hours that I have thought about sleep, craved sleep, wished I was sleeping, you get the picture...well, it would be a lot! And when I think about it, it feels like so much wasted life.
I know there are a few people who wake up in the morning and are ready to go. I have never understood this. I think I can count on one hand the times that I woke up "refreshed" and awake. I don't think it matters how much sleep I get, I am never "ready" to get up in the morning.
In high school, it was ridiculous. I would run out of snooze's on my alarm clock and my parents would have to wake me up. Some times repeatedly. And as much as I tried, I just couldn't get my brain to tell my body "get up". I would drift in and out of consciousness in semi dream land. I remember having dreams, hitting snooze, and going right back to the same dream. I had my dream/sleep world mastered. Plus, at my dad's house I had a water bed...and oh man that thing was so warm and cozy. Especially when I snuggled up to the edge of the bed where the water mattress and edge met. Comfort.
When I was in culinary school, I had the same issue, but of course no parents as back up. I slept in a couple times, missed the bus, late to school. I eventually bought a second alarm clock and put it on the other side of the room. I would snooze one alarm clock next to my bed and then I would snooze the alarm on the other side of the room and still go back to bed! But, it worked and it only took me one or two times walking across the room to snooze, and I would actually just force myself to stay up. It didn't help that at that time I had a king size bed all to myself and I had a bunch of pillows and could sprawl myself across the entire bed. So comfy.
Now, when I was in culinary school, I had a tad more reason to "need" sleep. I was going to school full time, usually 8 hours a day and then I worked until 11 or so at night. Sometimes I had to be at school at 6am, so I had to leave my house before 5am to catch the bus and walk to school. And with the one or two after work beers at the bar next door, well I didn't get home until after midnight most nights. So, 4-5 hours sleep...just not enough for Kari. No, not enough. Honestly, I am not sure how I got through the days. I guess I just got used to it after a while.
Now a days, I have no alarm clock. I have kids. It is pretty rare that I have to set an alarm. When I do, I usually only have to snooze once...maybe twice. Old habits are hard to break. But, when the kids wake me up, I am certainly not ready to actually get up. But, of course they aren't old enough to fend for themselves, so I guess I must get up :P And then I spend the next hour of life cuddled on the couch usually with the littlest one, watching toons and trying to get just a little more "rest". Like it is really going to do me any good.
I wish that I could just decide to get up and stay up and get started on my day. I would get so much more done. And occasionally I do just that. I will decide to let the kids watch toons and I get started on dishes, laundry, cleaning up, or get started on work early so I don't get behind. And those days are good because I actually feel caught up. But, I do enjoy my snuggle time with the kids, which is important...even if I am only semi conscious at the time.
The rest of the day I do pretty good. It is rare that I am fall over tired. That usually only happens when I don't get enough sleep or if I'm not feeling good or if I slip up and have some caffeine. But, I always kind of wish that I was sleeping. It always sounds good to be wrapped in a blanket, snuggled in between a bunch of pillows, drifting off in to la la land. I mean, I am good at sleep, I do it WELL. lol
But, throughout the day, if I am given the opportunity of a nap, I usually don't take it. I feel like I am wasting time or wasting part of my life, if I am asleep. It is like as soon as I am "up" I want to stay that way. I want to enjoy every minute of the day. If I sleep then it is just time lost.
And at night, I never really want to go to bed. I stay up as late as I can until I can't keep my eyes open any longer. As soon as the kids are in bed, it is like my "free time". I can hang out with Mark without interruptions. I can read a book. I can catch up on chores. I can go for a run. I can watch my hulu. And I want to extend that free time for as long as I can, so I stay up later than I probably should. I am usually in bed between 11 and midnight. And the kids wake me up between 6-7 in the morning, so I am still getting a good 6-7 hours at night. Sometimes more. Sometimes less. It seems to be working out ok so far.
Sleep good. Awake is better :)

The incredible edible egg....and weird me

2011-09-15T11:06:00.000-04:00

When it comes to food, I can be a bit odd. Well, that depends on who you are talking to of course. I like to think I am a bit quirky...and that is totally lovable and cute...whatever :)

For the longest time, I ate my eggs the exact same way. Exact. Same. Way. And then one day when I was living out in Portland, a friend noticed the way I ate eggs. And laughed and made fun of me. Oh, it wasn't all that dramatic, I mean there was laughing and making fun...but it was the "I like to pick on you" type of thing. I wasn't hurt or anything.

At any rate, I really had not given much thought to the way I ate my eggs. I mean, I am super meticulous about it...but I hadn't really "thought" about it. It was just something I did and it worked. It was efficient and tasty. Great, works for me.

Well, shortly after that I got to thinking....what if I ate my eggs a different way? And I thought that it was worth a shot. Well, I found another, not quite so meticulous way to eat my eggs and I am quite pleased with that method as well. And it works well with only one egg, instead of two. (which now a days, two eggs is a bit much for me to eat in the morning)

But, for blogging's sake...I thought I would recreate the egg eating method of my "early days".

Here you go...are you ready?

Eggs. I just thought I would start this out with a picture with the star of this blog.

Two eggs cooking, soon to be over easy (or I would have liked. I actually broke one of the yolks and overcooked them a little...ah well, I don't make eggs every day like I used to before. Whatever.)

Toast, golden and buttered. (note to self, buy better bread next time! although, plain ole wheat toast is good and does the trick.)

Ready to eat with cup of tea (not pictured)

First step: cut off and eat all the outside white part. The trick is to get as close the yolk without breaking it. The whites are nice and smooth, peppery and light.
I also cut one of the pieces of toast in half at this point.

Step two: Open each egg yolk and flip the top over so you have two sides to each egg. (I broke one yolk while cooking, so I am only showing you a picture of one). You use one of your half pieces of toast on each egg and you dab the yolk to get the mix of cooked and running yolk stuck to the bread. It will usually come off the white part "clean". And then of course eat each bite enjoying the mixture of each flavor in each bite. (save the rest of the runny yolk for later)

Now the white part is rid of all the yolk and it is time to form the "sandwich".

Step Three (I lost count, we could be at step 4 or 5): You put the whites in the whole piece of toast and fold it over to make a sandwich.

Step Four: I always "clean" the fork at this point with the bread. Well ya know...because I am done with the fork, duh.

Step Five: Use your egg sandwich to sop up the rest of the runny yolk and enjoy. It is kind of like eating a gravy sandwich....or ya know, something like that. Tasty :)

By the time you get to the last bite, your plate should be pretty clean and voila! You're done.

So, if you think I am crazy for how I eat my eggs. Or if you think I am even crazier for taking pictures and blogging about it. Well, you probably are right. But, I am a-ok with that because darn it all..I am a person who cares "how" she eats her food. I take great care and pride in what gets eaten first, last, and what gets eaten with what. It is the small things in life that bring a smile to my face.
Maybe next I will blog about how I eat an ice cream cone....ha ha...yeah maybe.

Charly and school

2011-09-15T08:59:00.000-04:00

Mark had a meeting with Charly's teacher yesterday and also got to sit in on her class as well.
We found out that Charly has a pretty big attitude problem. We weren't oblivious to this fact, but it turns out that a lot more of her bad habits have come out during school.
Mark and I were forced to look at some of our behavior...obviously. Charly talks back to the teacher, she can be mean to the other kids, and she stomps and gets angry when she doesn't get her way. On the flip side, she can be very kind, protective of the other kids, and very helpful. Just right now...the bad is outweighing the good.
We have come to realize(again) that we need to watch our anger with the kids. It is just so easy to jump to anger when the kids act out. And yelling should be a last resort, not a initial reaction. Mark and I both have anger issues and we need to nip this in the bud unless we want our kids to deal with the same issues.
Charly enjoys school, but I know she is a bit out of her element. She doesn't know anyone in her class. All her friends from preschool are in different classrooms. And I think she is jealous that some of her friends got to stay together and she feels like an outsider. She does enjoy lunch because that is when she can see her friends. She does make friends easily, but I think she went in to school thinking it was going to be like preschool with her friends. She just needs time to adjust.
I have heard her talk about some kids in her class and I think she will eventually make new friends and feel more comfortable, but that will take some time. I think that a lot of kids when they are feeling nervous or uncomfortable, they get shy and seclude themselves. Charly does the opposite and acts out and gets angry. This is something she is going to have to work on.
And thankfully, it is just kindergarten and she has many years to improve on her behavior, because we all know that Charly can be funny, loving, sweet, helpful, and kind. It is just amazing how quickly her attitude can change back and forth.
So, yesterday after school before Mark even said anything, Charly said that she needs to work on her attitude and we told her that we would be there to help her do that. And that starts with us and how we treat Charly and the other two.
We are also going to make sure to get in some special time with her. Charly is the type of person that requires a lot of attention and love. And she needs to feel and see that. And with how crazy our lives tend to get and with the other two kids, sometimes it is hard to remember to take those moments out and have some 2 on 1 time with her.
Every day, look your kid directly in the eyes and tell them you love them. It is so important to not let yourself get swept up in life's to do's. Take time out to just focus on the important things....the people you love!

Day 11724

2011-09-12T08:49:00.001-04:00

I have been alive for 11 thousand 7 hundred and 24 days and I don't show any signs of stopping yet.
Aydan and Charly woke me up at 5:45 this morning. I mean, really??? They came in my room and Charly said "Aydan has to go potty! And Papa is in the shower in the bathroom and I think Grammie is in the other!!" I mean, it was all soooo urgent. Well, Grammie wasn't in the other, so we went in that one. For a minute I thought, "oh great! Aydan is getting up early to go to the bathroom, he must not have went in his diaper". Well, he did go in the toilet, but he also had a really full diaper, so I guess we can take only one point for potty training progress. Not sure when the whole subconscious self control will kick in, all we can do is wait and see. It is very rare that he ever wakes up dry.
Aydan and Charly were very awake, so I didn't have any chance of sending them back to bed. Luckily, they had been quiet getting out of the bedroom, so Peyten was still asleep.
So, we snuggled in on the couches and watched some toons. Ok, the kids watched toons, I dozed off.
About 7am, it was time for Charly to start getting ready for school and Peyten also woke up. Aydan went to the bathroom again on the toilet and kept his diaper dry. Charly got the fixins for her lunch around. I helped her make her sandwich. Charly got dressed for school. We all sat down for breakfast. Cereal. I heated up some coffee from the day before.
We had a little time before Charly had to leave for school, so we watched some Kai Lan.
At 8am, we were ready to go, shoes on, and out the door. I do like that Charly can play in the playground before school, so we can drop her off a tad early and avoid "rushing" or getting caught up in a lot of traffic. Plus, she likes being able to run around and see her friends before going to class at 8:20. It works out well.
Now it is me and the kids at home. Mark will head to PT shortly. And I will get started with work. Aydan is watching Phineas and Ferb....because Diego wasn't on. And Peyten is sitting next to me flipping through a toy magazine. I guess she is getting some Christmas ideas....
Goals for today: Keep up with work. Stay on top of the potty training for Aydan. And clean the bathroom....it is seriously overdue. Why do I procrastinate so much!!??!!

In other new, I am taking off a couple days from running. Friday I started getting a sharp pain in my right heel whenever I walk on it. Not excrusciating, but painful enough. I still rocked my 5k (25:13)on Saturday morning with minimal pain...and if anything, it probably helped me not heel strike, but I think it would be in my best interest to stay off of it for a couple days. So, I didn't run the rest of Saturday or Sunday. By Tuesday night though...I am running no matter what. I have a serious itch to get out there. I so wish I had more time to run. Maybe when life slows down a little...ya know, in twenty years!! I have been reading a book my brother loaned to me on Saturday and of course it just feeds that itch even more. It is called Born To Run. Brett enjoyed the book and I am already half way through it...so needless to say, I am enjoying it as well.

Friday, yeah!

2011-09-09T09:11:00.000-04:00

Mark and I both hit a "wall" last night. It was shortly after dinner, and I said that I was so exhausted that I might just go to bed when the kids do. Mark quickly agreed. We were both experiencing extra body pain and overall fatigue. I think when you are going strong for so long and are stressed about so many things, that when you finally get a breather, your body just gives in and you can't do much else but lie there.
The last couple weeks have been stressful and busy for us. Just every day stuff, nothing too crazy. But, last night we finally didn't have any plans. We didn't have to be anywhere or worry about anything. Well, there is always things to worry about, but for some reason last night some things came to a head and we got a little relief.
Mark got home after dinner time after running some errands. I couldn't do much else, other than lay on the couch and put some toons on for the kids. I did do the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen though. That felt like the biggest chore on earth! lol. My body felt like it got ran over by a semi and my head was hurting a bit and I just felt like...well, crap.
See, this isn't uncommon. I mean, I can almost figure out a pattern if I tried to track it. I go go go and then eventually, my body says NOOOOO MOOOORRRREE! I mean, I get it, and I do it to myself. But whatever, that is what works for me. I feed my body. I exercise my body. I give my body plenty of water. And I do generally get about 6-7 hours worth of sleep each night. But, I guess every once in a while, my body just wants more.
So, the kids went to bed at 7:30 and I quickly brushed my teeth, got comfy and crawled in to bed. I laid there for a bit, it wasn't instant sleep, but I am sure I was asleep right around 8pm. I slept until 6:30 when the kids woke me up. 10-1/2 hours of sleep? Yeah, I think that was good. I do remember waking up a couple times throughout the night or early morning, but I was right back to sleep. And really, I could have slept longer this morning!
But today I am feeling much more refreshed and relaxed, ready to start the day. Or continue the day...because it is 9am and I got Charly ready for school, did the dishes (where did those come from??), fed the kids breakfast, took Charly to school, and now I am gearing up for work.
Did I mention it is Friday? And we don't have too many plans this weekend? Love it.
Tomorrow morning I have a 5k in Paw Paw. We might hang out at the festival after as well, we will see. And Saturday evening we plan to go to a friend's church to hear him speak. And Sunday we have church and then the all church picnic (yearly event). Other than that though, we will just be relaxing and doing whatever. It is the kind of weekend that we are more than ready for.

Well oiled machine

2011-09-06T23:08:00.000-04:00

Mark and my life is a well oiled machine and we have worked hard to make it that way. Some days I feel like we are non stop and there really is no way around that. Such is life and you just keep on moving and just enjoy the down time that you can get. But, we both have learned to roll with the punches (even gracefully sometimes!) and we deal with the hectic craziness and try and keep a sense of humor about it all. We work well together and balance eachother out.

A fairly typical Tuesday:
The kids got up just a tad before 7am. I woke up to "Mom! Aydan has to go potty and he won't get out of bed!!" Thank you Charly, but you could have gotten out of your own bed, came to my room, and told me that. But, I am sure screaming was a much better option.
I get out of bed, hit the restroom (because that is a necessity and much easier to do before all the kids are roaming the house), and I go in to the kid's room to see they are all up and playful. I get Peyten out of bed first and change her diaper and clothes. I tell Charly to get dressed for school. And after Peyten, I get Aydan out of bed and change his diaper. Maybe some day in the near future he will actually stay dry through the night, but for now....such is life. Some days we put underwear on him and let him try and stay dry. Other days we go straight for the diaper if we know we are going to be busy and can't monitor his potty schedule as well.
Ok, everyone is dressed and we head out to the kitchen. Charly gets her lunch ready for school and we decide on cereal for breakfast.
Mark was up by this time and we all finished getting around and we all got loaded in the van. It was time for Charly's first day of school!
Mark stayed in the van with Peyten and Aydan and I walked Charly up to her school and made sure she knew where she knew where to stand to line up for school. When I got to the van, Aydan was screaming and crying. We gave him a chance to say good-bye to Charly, but he didn't want to. But, of course after she left, he wanted to say good-bye. Melt down. All. The. Way. Home. Luckily we only live 2 minutes from the school. He got a bedroom time-out to cool off when we got inside. He just gets so emotional and upset and he has no idea what to do with all that. I get angry, but feel bad for him too.
After we got settled back at home, Mark had to leave for physical therapy and I got started with work. Aydan played on the computer for a while and Peyten had some "independent play". Actually, I think that she just enjoyed being able to play with her toys with no one trying to take them away! It was a quiet day and Peyten got a good nap in later and Aydan even got a nap in on the couch.
Later on, Mark took Aydan for a walk. It was a great day for a walk. Sun shining, but still cool out. Aydan had fun having special time with Dad.
Later on, we all went out to pick Charly up from school. I waited in the van with the kids while Mark walked in and picked up Charly. Normally, it will just be one of us dropping off and picking up Charly, but for the first day of school, it was fun for all of us to go.
Back at home I got some more work done and Mark got started on dinner. Although first, him and Charly whipped up a batch up chocolate chip cookies. And then it was tacos for dinner. By the time we sat down to eat, it was ten after five and Charly and I had to hurry. She had Cheer practice at 5:30. We scarfed down our food and headed out the door. Aydan decided to come with us and Mark and Peyten stayed home.
The kitchen was a disaster, so Mark got started on that after we left. Cheer practice goes until about 7pm so it is a lot of sitting and watching. Aydan brought a doodle pad to play with, but I think he got tired and cold after a while and ended up just cuddled in my lap.
We were all tired and a little cranky by the end of the night. Charly was acting up and I knew it was time to just get home, get settled, and get to bed.
Mark and I put the kids to bed right about 7:30 as usual and sometimes they go to sleep right away, but tonight they stayed up talking and playing. I think they did stay in their beds, so that is good. But, I guess they just wanted to catch up...I mean, they didn't get to play together all day!!
After they were in bed, I finished cleaning up the kitchen. Then I was able to get a shower in. And then I made some laundry soap. We were completely out and laundry was piling up, so it was a long overdue task!
It was 9pm and I had my cup of fake mocha and a couple chocolate chip cookies. Comfy pants. Laptop. Recliner. Relax. Mark went downstairs. He had taken his sleeping pills and would probably be nodding off soon.
So, here I sit, blogging and watching some tv. I think I will go to bed in about a half an hour and we will do it all over again tomorrow!!

St. Gregory's 2011

2011-09-05T13:04:00.000-04:00

I wanted to write a blog post about my experience at the Abbey and I really wanted to do it "soon" after staying there so that I could remember a lot of the little details. But, of course, life got busy and now it is an entire week+ after and I am just now sitting down to start the post! I guess I should have wrote the blog post while I was at the abbey, when I had time!!

Mindy and I planned a "get away" weekend at St. Gregory's Abbey in Three Rivers. We both desperately...ok, desperate might be an exaggerated term...but, we both were well in need of some quiet, reflection time. Time to replenish. Time to think. Time to be by ourselves and not have to worry about all the day to day stuff. And time to reconnect with our God.

Mindy and I both lead very hectic lives. She thinks my life is more hectic...I think her life is more hectic. It is a matter of perspective :) I have a husband, three little kids at home, and I work two jobs from my computer at home. Mark watches the kids during the day and I usually have free time in the evening after the kids go to bed. But, I do feel like my brain is constantly being pulled in so many different directions with work and the kids. With Charly starting school and sports, that is only going to get worse (better...they go hand in hand).
Mindy works a full time job at an office. She has two little kids at home that Mike takes care of during the day. Mike also works a part time (sometimes full?) job mainly at night. And Mindy is taking online courses and has home work to deal with. Which I think she usually does at night after the kids go to bed.

Needless to say, we both don't have much down time unless it is strategically planned, like this trip.

We chose to stay in the cottage that the Monks offer. It has three bedrooms, two baths, and a nicely stocked kitchen. Mindy had stayed there before so she knew that we would have plenty of pots, pans, and utensils for our cooking needs. And so we decided to eat on our own and opted not to eat with the Monks. We wanted to stay on our own schedule and plus...we enjoy cooking and eating!

So, first order of business before we even got too close to the weekend...our menu. Mindy and I both love the same kinds of food, so planning the menu was nice and easy. We both didn't want junk food and we both wanted plenty of vegetables.
Below is our menu that we ate, which is darn close to what we planned. We had a couple modifications, especially when we required a "second breakfast"!:

Friday lunch:

Pastrami, tomato, onion, mustard, mayo on whole grain bread
Romaine salad, tomatoes, onions, with vinaigrette
Friday Dinner:
Fresh pasta with Pesto
Chicken breast
Sauteed zucchini with fresh Parmesan
Saturday Breakfast:
Oatmeal
Blueberries
Saturday second Breakfast:
Fried Egg with grated fresh Parmesan
Whole wheat toast
Saturday Lunch:
Porterhouse steak with sauteed onions and peppers
Steamed green beans
Couscous with Parmesan and cherry tomatoes
Saturday Dinner:
Grilled pastrami, Havarti, onion, tomato sandwich on whole grain bread

Salad (same as Friday)
Sunday Breakfast:
Whole wheat toast
Poached egg
leftover steak, onions and peppers
Sunday Lunch:
leftovers

We arrived at the Abbey about 9:30am on Friday. It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, but it wasn't too hot. I must say, I had some trouble decompressing the first day. And I believe Mindy did as well. We got to the cottage, unloaded our belongings. Picked out our beds. Made a couple cups of tea. And then thought "now what?". At that moment, we normally would have been asking our husbands what they wanted to do. Or got the kids involved with something. Figured out what to feed the kids. Or put one down for a nap. Or figured out a way to entertain them. So, now what? Well, we found the jigsaw puzzles! I was in hog heaven. You may not know this about me, but I LOVE puzzles. I can get seriously addicted. I don't do them too often now with the kids being little and always around and getting in to things. But, I find them wonderfully challenging and relaxing all at the same time.

We did a puzzle almost in its entirety and I got the feeling that at this rate, I may run out of puzzles too quickly. Mindy and I had to laugh at one point because we both felt like we were rushing to get the puzzle done. Like we were on a time constraint or something. We had to pull back a little and remind ourselves, THERE'S NO RUSH! It is really hard to get out of that habit, but we did the best we could.
We took a break from the puzzle and made some lunch. Sandwich and salad. We ate it out on the back porch and looked out at the trees and water. It was quiet, serene, and quite lovely. And my, was the food good! The bread was a sourdough with some grains in it (which we couldn't quite figure out which kind), but it was really good to say the least. The pastrami was nice and flavorful. The mustard had bite. The tomatoes were nice and hearty and tasty. The salad was pungent, fresh, and flavorful. The thing about "fresh" food is that it hits all your senses and I love that.
Mindy got a lot of the groceries at a farmer's market by her and I got a few of the veggies from a local farmer by me.
After lunch, we cleaned up, finished the puzzle and then it was time for 2:00 None (pronounced nohn) service. The walk to the church took about five to ten minutes or so. We would leave 15 minutes before the start time and usually hear the ten minute bell on the way and we would make it to the door right at the five minute bell or before. I'm not going to lie, the bell made us jump a couple times...its kind of loud when you are right next to the church!

Service was lovely. This was my first experience worshipping with the Monks and I enjoyed every minute of it. First, when you walk in it is quiet and you get hit with the smell of incense. It isn't overpowering, it is just comforting. Kind of like when I smell cedar, I think of my grandma. Here, the smell was more like sandalwood (I think). But, I will forever remember that smell and it will remind me of the Abbey. The sanctuary looks like an overturned boat. The experience is very humbling and it is hard not to find some sort of peace while you are listening to the Monks chant/sing the psalms. It is very comforting to say the least. And the way they go about it, allows me to follow along and actually take in and read every word.

Before service we had stopped at the library and picked up a couple books. Amazing library, by the way. So, we took our books back to the cottage. I can't remember if there were naps, reading, or more puzzles at this point. But, it was relaxing whatever it was.

After a bit, it was getting close to hungry time, so we gathered up the fixings. I made some fettuccine from scratch and since I forgot the blender, I just chopped up the pesto ingredients and kept chopping...and chopping until it looked like it had been blended. Mindy helped cook up the chicken in a fry pan. And she sauteed up the zucchini. We mixed up the pesto with the cooked pasta and topped the bowl with the chicken and we topped the zucchini with some grated fresh Parmesan (Parmesan goes on everything! you will probably notice a pattern).
We ate out on the back porch again. Dinner hit the spot. The pasta turned out great. The pesto was nice and fresh tasting. The chicken was flavorful. And the zucchini was cooked just right.

After being sufficiently stuffed, we did...some more relaxing. Had some tea, worked on puzzles, read books. I took a run around the property. I think I got about 1-1/2 or 2 miles in. Shower. And then we walked up to the church in time for the 7:45pm Compline service.
Again, the service was lovely. It was similar to the None service. Chanting through psalms and reading prayer and scripture. It was just the 7 (sometimes 6) Monks in the sanctuary and one other visitor. Calm, quiet, inviting, peaceful. A great way to end an evening.

We went back to the cottage and got comfy and read our books. It wasn't too long before I was playing the head bob game and decided to go to bed. We were planning an early start the next day, so I set my alarm for 3:30 and went to sleep.

Mindy and I both woke up before our alarms. I guess were were excited for the day to start. I woke up a little before 3am and my body was trying to tell me to get up. I did decide to stay in bed until my alarm went off though. Mindy and I got dressed and were out the door by 3:45, in time to make it to the 4am Matins service. My only mistake in going to service that early in the morning was not being well hydrated. I got a little dizzy when it was time to stand up, etc. But, I did all right and service was wonderful. If you ever get a chance to get up at 4am and go pray and worship with Monks, you should definitely do it. Service didn't last too long, I think we were back at the cottage by 5am.

We made up some oatmeal and added some blueberries and drank some coffee. Puzzles, reading, relaxing. I think I tried and take a nap somewhere in there and was only able to sleep for 30 minutes. But, I guess that was all I needed.

After a while, we started getting hungry again. Well, it wasn't even close to being time for lunch. I think it was around 8-9am. So, we decided to make "second breakfast" as the Hobbits would say. We fried up some eggs, toasted some bread, and of course put some grated fresh Parmesan on top. It hit the spot! And I must say, the bread Mindy brought was excellent for sandwiches and toast. We actually wished she had brought more than one loaf :)

Mindy and I went for a jog/walk around the property. It was another gorgeous day out. The Abbey is so far out in the country and you just don't see a whole lot of traffic around.
**to be honest, I can't remember if we took our walk before lunch or after...but it was at some point on Saturday!

We had decided to live a little like the Monks that day, so we were going to have our "big meal" in the middle of the day instead of in the evening, but first we had 11:30am Sext service.
I honestly do not remember the differences between each of the services. Many of them are quite similar. But, at some they speak the psalms instead of chanting them. And they read different scriptures, etc. They are all very soothing and comforting though.

Back at the cottage, we prepared lunch, our "big meal". We had porterhouse steaks with sauteed peppers and onions. Steamed green beans. And couscous with tomatoes and fresh Parmesan. It was a big plate of food, but it was good!! We didn't quite eat all the steak. I mean, they were enormous. The steak was tender and flavorful. It definitely came from a "happy cow" lol. The green beans, I had gotten from a farmer by my house. They were very tasty. And even the green peppers had more flavor than I am used to. The couscous turned out good, but we made way too much of it!

After a food coma. Ok, maybe not a coma, but there was more relaxing involved. I brought my book out on the back porch swing and read for a while. Mindy might have napped at this point. We really had no agenda in between meals and worship. And our only activities pretty much included puzzles, books, and napping. And the great part about getting up at 3:30 in the morning, is that it makes the day REALLY long, which is excellent when you want to make the most of your time away.

Let's see, next was 4:30pm Tea. This is a time that the Monks put out tea and coffee and you can go relax, have a cup and talk with the Monks. Mindy and I chatted with Prior Aelred, who Mindy had known from last time(s) she stayed at the Abbey. We mainly chatted about movies he had seen and the next thing we knew, it was time for 5pm Vespers service.

Vespers was one of our favorite because during worship the Monks chanted/sang the Lords Prayer and I don't think I have heard anything quite so beautiful! I don't know, I am having a hard time expressing in words exactly how it made me feel. After service Mindy and I both started talking at the same time about how amazing it was. Let's just say it made an impact on both of us. And for it to be a prayer that we say so many times anyway...well, it was powerful.

After Vespers we went back to the cottage and we were in for the night. We had grilled pastrami sandwiches with Havarti cheese, onion, and tomatoes. And also a romaine salad with onions, tomatoes, and a balsamic vinaigrette. We ate it out on the back porch. It was a nice evening. You can sit outside and not hear anything except the birds and critters in the woods.

The rest of the evening? You guessed it...another puzzle! This was puzzle number four and also the last puzzle available to do. After that we made some "more" tea and played some cards. Mindy beat me pretty good in Gin and then I beat her pretty good in Rummy. It was a fair trade. I don't know what time it was, but by the end we (or maybe just me) were laughing pretty hysterically from being over tired. It was time to hit the hay. I crawled in to bed, read the last chapter of the book I had checked out from the library and I was off to sleepy land.

We got up Sunday morning at about 5am. We got up and around and were up at the church in time for 5:30am Matins and Lauds. There was a lot of psalms, hymns, scripture, and prayer. Again, a great way to wake up in the morning. I just find the Monks so humbling and inspiring all at the same time.
When we got back to the cottage, we realized the service had lasted for an hour and a half. It seemed long while we were there, but not that long.

We were pretty hungry by this time, so we got breakfast around. We made poached eggs and whole grain toast. And we used some leftovers and had some steak, peppers, and onions with it.

Mindy took to a deep sleep on the couch shortly after and I went up to the 8:30am Terce and Mass. This is the service that a lot of outside people come to. I think there were seven people other than the three of us that were staying at the Abbey. And then of course the seven Monks.
Terce service was lovely. Mass was nice. The sermon was very well done. And communion was humbling. A great experience overall.
By the time I got back to the cottage, it was a little after 10am and Mindy and I had to start coming to terms with the fact that we would have to leave soon. Not without some more relaxing and reading first! I had picked up a second book from the library and got a good half way in to that. Closer to lunch time, we heated up all the leftovers and sat down for our last meal at the cottage.
We did well on our grocery shopping. We didn't have much food left at all. And since none of our food was pre packaged or processed, we didn't even fill a garbage bag half way the whole weekend.

We packed up and cleaned up and we left our little home away from home around noon. We stopped in to the Abbey and dropped off the key and our books to the library. We said our good byes and we were on our way home.

It was a magical time at the Abbey cottage. I felt like the ride back home, I had to prepare myself for the life I was "re entering". It took us half the day on Friday to get accustomed to the "quiet life" and it took the ride back home to get geared up and ready for the "crazy life" again. But, I was very happy to walk in to my house and give my family a big hug. Sometimes it is good to get away so that you can come back home. I think both of us got what we needed from the Abbey and the Monks. We were able to unwind, reconnect with God, and reflect on our own lives a little. It was long overdue. We are going to try and make it a yearly trip.

Keep on keeping on

2011-08-23T15:01:00.000-04:00

The only thing that is consistent in my life is my inconsistency.
On occasion I think about tracking all my moods, cravings, desires, attitudes, emotions, etc on a chart and seeing if they actually occur around the same time of the month. Do I crave bananas around the same time each month? Steak? Ice cream? Sometimes I feel like that is the case for a lot of things. Do I get headaches on the same days?
In reality I am sure it is all pretty random.
My diet will always be up and down. I just have so many days where I crave "bad" food. I try to eat in moderation during that time. And then there are other times when I want nothing but healthy, vibrant fruits and vegetables. I try and get my fill during that time.
And even with running, I "usually" want to run, but there are times when it is just more enjoyable than others. Some nights I feel like I am dragging my feet and struggling to get a mile in. Other nights I feel light as a feather and could run forever.
I also could probably track my eating and see how it coincides with my running, but I am pretty darn sure I know the answer to that! I mean, if I eat better I run better. I DO know this:)
I had been getting frustrated for a while because I wasn't seeing any change in the scale and sometimes I even saw the number going up. I run, I eat fairly well and at best I should be maintaining my weight, if not losing.
Well, I still haven't seen too much of a difference, but last week I noticed when I was putting my belt on, that I had to take it one more notch than usual. And this happened with both the belts I own. And it kept happening with different pairs of pants. I also have found that some of my pants are feeling a bit bigger. Even my comfy pants I have been having to roll twice instead of once to keep them up.
So, with many many months of running, trying to eat right, and trying not to look at the scale too much, I finally am seeing some results. I still would love to have an actual waist again, but in due time. That is a goal that may or may not be attainable. We will see.
I am just happy to feel "healthy" again. After having the babies, I just did not feel like myself and didn't enjoy the extra weight that came with all that. Not that anyone "enjoys" extra weight. But, I am the most happy when I am fit, healthy, and working hard at it. I guess it gives me a sense of power over myself that I rather enjoy.
I want to live a very long time. I know that I may get hit by a bus at any moment. But, I want to increase my chances of survival by taking care of myself. I want to see my kids get old. I want to meet my great great grandchildren. And I want to be well enough through all of it to enjoy it. And I want to be so darn good at exercising and eating healthy that it isn't a chore in the least and just part of my lifestyle. I want to enjoy life and not have to worry about "catching up" with anything.

Mark's Birthday Day

2011-08-22T12:16:00.000-04:00

It is always fun to surprise someone. It isn't that often that I get the chance. Mark's birthday is on Tuesday and I couldn't decide what to get him. I ended up realizing that a day off is probably what he needs the most!
I asked Cindy and Garry if they would watch the kids on Saturday and went from there. I booked a hotel room and told Mark not to plan anything for that day.
I did end up telling him what we were doing on Saturday morning, but he was pretty much in the dark until then.

The hotel I booked was in Kalamazoo, so about 9:30am we headed in that direction. Our first stop was the Antique Kitchen on Westnedge. Both Mark and I hadn't eaten there in a while. I LOVE going to the Antique Kitchen. Not only is the food always well done, it is just fun to watch the entire place in action. It is definitely a "well oiled" machine. Kind of like watching a symphony. Each person knows their role. They have the order of events down pat. Every thing they do is a carefully thought out step. The tickets don't sit long in the kitchen and since the restaurant has steady business, they can staff appropriately. You can watch the four cooks through a window and none of them seem hurried or rushed, but they all work swiftly.
If you are looking for fancy bells and whistles, this is not the place. But, if you want simple breakfast done well, then this is the place.
Mark had just gotten in to reading the paper and our food arrived. Oh, I say about a five minute wait. The restaurant was probably 90% full. Mark had the french toast and I had eggs, hash browns, and sausage. Mark loved his french toast. Made with texas toast, butter and syrup. My hash browns were golden and crisp and soft in the middle. My eggs were perfectly over easy. And the sausage was slightly crisp on the outside and tender a little pink in the middle.
We walked out stuffed to say the least.

Next stop was Toys R Us. I know, we don't have the kids for the day and we go to Toys R Us! But, it was nice to walk around the store and scope out potential Christmas gifts without have kids pulling us in every direction.

After that, we went to Barnes and Noble. I got a tall decaf latte and Mark got a grande mocha frapuccino. We got our magazines and sat down at a table. I looked at two cooking magazines and one running magazines. If that doesn't say anything about me, I don't know what would. It was nice to sit, relax, sip coffee, and do a little people watching. Oh, and of course I scammed a couple recipes. Luckily I had a piece of paper and pen in my purse :)

We got our fill of books and coffee and then we went to the mall to do some walking around. We really just like to window shop, walk around, and chat. After the mall, we hit the dollar store to pick up a few items.

It was a little after 2 at this time and our check in time for the hotel was 3 o'clock, so we headed to the other side of town. We unloaded and got the key to our room. The room was lovely. It had a couch, fridge, microwave, flat screen, and king size bed. The bed had the best combo of bedding. Sheet, thermal blanket, sheet, and then down comforter with duvet cover. And the pillows I think were feather, super comfy to say the least. We settled in and took a much needed nap and watched a movie called The Lovely Bones. It was nice to be able to just shut down for a bit.

We left for dinner around six. We had a gift certificate that we got for Christmas that we still hadn't used! We went to the Wild Bull Saloon downtown Kalamazoo. 6 o'clock was early for a Saturday night for that place, so the place wasn't crowded at all. Mark got sliders and french fries. And I got ribs with mac n cheese and baked beans. The ribs were really good. Smoky, a tad spicy, and they fell right off the bone. The mac and cheese was ok. It had a slight Velveeta taste and if you know me at all...I really don't like that stuff. And I did enjoy the baked beans, they had great flavor and were made with a variety of beans.

After dinner we walked around downtown for a bit. We hadn't been down there for a while and it is fun to see all the changes and wonder how the businesses are doing. Downtown is one of those areas where businesses do really well or fall very flat. It was good to see some of them striving. And since we walked passed the hospital, it of course sparked a conversation about each of our kids being born. I think it is cool that all of our kids were born at the same hospital. We have great memories from each time.

After all that walking around, we were ready to go back to the hotel. I tell ya, we were more than happy to get back in that bed, it was COMFY!! We watched another movie called Unstoppable. Which, I didn't know was based on a true story. It was a good movie.
We decided to hit the pool before it closed. The pool was just cold enough that I didn't want to stay in it, so we hopped over to the hot tub for a bit.

Riding the elevator back up to our room, we shared it with a Pizza Hut delivery guy. Well, that sparked a craving for Mark. So, we ended up ordering some bread sticks. We did go out and pick them up and brought them back to the hotel. We got all cozy in the bed and opened the box and Mark said "ugh! I forgot to order cheese sticks instead of bread sticks!" lol Disappointment. Ah well, the bread sticks hit the spot too.

By the time I dozed off to sleep, I was very relaxed and comfy and I don't even think I dreamt at all throughout the night.
The alarm went off at 7am and I was feeling tired, but well rested.
I took a long and hot shower. The water pressure was pretty good and the shower head was one of those really large ones. I had the water so hot, I was starting to wonder if I was going to pass out, but it was very nice.
Mark was still in bed with his eyes closed. Not sure if he was actually sleeping or not, but I thought I would let him rest since we didn't have to leave until about 8:30. I went downstairs and got some breakfast. They had a nice spread. Waffles, biscuits and gravy, muffins, fruit, bagels, juice, coffee, cereal, yogurt...and I am sure a few other things that I forget.
The gravy had a funny taste for some reason, so I made myself a waffle instead. That was very good. So, I sat and ate and watched the news and drank my hazelnut coffee.
Mark got something to eat soon after and then we mosied out of the hotel. We took Red Arrow home and ended up stopping at the flea market outside of Paw Paw. I got a new bamboo cutting board ($5) and Mark got a pair of sunglasses($5). I also got a thing-a-majig to scoop out my fries when I fry them at home($1).

We got home right about 9:30 and started getting kids ready for church. I think they missed us :) I know we missed them! It is always good to get a little time away from the kids so you can make sure to remember how much you would miss them! They had a lot of fun with Grammie and Papa while we were gone though. And Charly made sure to tell me that they had NO time outs :)

Sunday was a day with the family. We were in charge of coffee hour at church. We put out meatballs, cheese, crackers, chips, dip, and brownies. Cindy and I both wore white pants that day and miraculously did not get any BBQ sauce or red kool aid on them! lol
After church we let Peyten nap, then we ate some leftovers for lunch and then we all headed to South Haven. We walked around downtown. We let the kids pick out some ten cent candy at the candy store. And then we got some food at Julia's cafe. Very good. And before heading home, we let the kids run around the state park. We walked a trail and checked out the lake. We drove around the campsites and then went home. We were all tuckered out and didn't even make it through a whole movie and we just put the kids to bed at their usual time.
I almost made it through the whole episode of Breaking Bad, which started at 10. I was playing the head bobbing game for a while and even took a fifteen minute mini nap before the show started. But, I just conked out with probably only ten minutes left. Ah well. I was spent...

Now it is Monday and back to work!!

Budget

2011-08-19T10:19:00.000-04:00

I love to budget. I can't lie. I really do love it. I have always done some budgeting for bills in the past, but lately I have been making sure to budget for everything. And it makes life so much less stressful. Instead of assuming the random amount of money leftover from paying bills with cover all my expenditures, I actually put a dollar amount on it all. Birthday parties, groceries, gas, day trips to Kalamazoo, camping trips, Christmas (very early), pharmacy, med bills, etc.

Now, granted I didn't really have the money in the past to set aside for anything. And even now it isn't always there, but I definitely have a little more wiggle room than I have in the last 10 years.

But, at any rate...budgeting it all makes for guilt free spending. I used to worry about every little dime that came out of the bank account, how we were spending and where it was all going.
Now, if I set it all up ahead of time, I don't have to worry and I know what my bank account is going to look like at the end of the month. It actually makes me happy when I withdraw some money from the bank account instead of cringing.

There are still things that come up that I just can't budget for and can't predict, but that is ok too. I seem to have found a balance which makes it all ok.

And the fact that I like to "over budget" helps too. When we actually spend less than I budgeted for, works out well in keeping that balance.

I still would like to reduce our monthly bills, but that will come with time. We are well on our way and I have to keep the big picture in mind because I still get frustrated with money and become overwhelmed. It certainly isn't as bad as it was and part of it is just my control issues, but we are getting there!

Did I mention I love spreadsheets?? They go right along with keeping track of the budget:)

Birthday #32

2011-08-07T22:51:00.000-04:00

Thirty two years ago I arrived in this world....just as the doctor came in the room.

Two years ago I was having contractions throughout the entire day, just waiting for Peyten to enter the world. Of course, she decided to have a birth day of her own and came the following day.

This year wasn't as monumental...no babies being born, but I had my family around and I couldn't be more happy.

The day was busy and full and I am completely exhausted right now. It was great.

Let's see, some of my favorite "Charly quotes" from today:
~"Come on dude! Just get your head in it"
     (I can't remember what she was trying to convince Nate to do, but she was trying to say "get your head in the game"...from a movie)
~"Thanks mom, for celebrating your birthday at Chuck E Cheese's"
     (As we sat eating our pizza)
~"If I was Grammie's age, I definitely would have got you one for a hundred"
     (she was referring to a gift card that Grammie and Papa got me for my birthday...apparently if it were up to Charly, I would have gotten a hundred bucks worth, lmbo)

The day started off great.  I slept in and I got up around 8am. I hadn't slept in that late for a while. Usually I am up working by that time. We all (Garry, Cindy, Mark, me, Nate, Charly, Aydan, and Peyten) had breakfast - coffee, oj, cinnamon rolls, and coffee cake. Mark and the kids gave me their birthday cards. The kid's cards played music ....Aydan had fun with those :)
Mark got me some Hartford comfy pants, Milano cookies, and an Amazon gift card. Garry and Cindy gave me a Kohl's gift card. And I had already gotten an Amazon gift card from my dad and stepmom as well. The gift of shopping...always a good thing:)
Then we all got ready for church and headed out.
After church we came home and Peyten took a well needed nap.
Cindy made us all sloppy joes for lunch.
After Peyten woke up and we all had eaten lunch, we got ready to head out. We were going to head to Kalamazoo and hit some stores and just see where the day took us.
Our first stop was Kohl's. I had the gift card to use and we also wanted to do some school clothes shopping for Nate. We did pretty well and got most of what we needed. And Charly even picked out a backpack for herself. There was a little bit of craziness: Peyten got "antsy" sitting in the stroller. And there was a "code blue" incident in the store (peeping Tom) right before we went to check out. And since also there was a tag issue on one of the shirts I was buying, the cashier gave me an extra ten percent off "just because" of all the hubub.
Next stop: Target. We ended up getting Nate some shoes there and Mark a pair of shorts. Peyten was getting "to the limit" at this store and we knew we had to get some food next.
After some debating, we decided we would go to Chuck E Cheese's for some pizza and games. The kids seemed to like this idea. Ya know, just a little...
Chuck E Cheese wasn't too packed. We ordered our food and got our tokens and the kids were off after that. They were all over the place. We did make them all sit down when the food came, but other than that they had fun running from game to game. They all kind of went their own way and we just chased them around the place. Nate managed to gather up quite the pile of tickets.
We were pretty spent after all that, but as we were walking to the van, we decided to make one more stop. Toys R Us is right next door to Chuck E Cheese and we needed to get Peyten a birthday present. We walked around the store and let her pick out her own gift. (as much as a 2 yr old can) She ended up with a toy kitten that makes noises when you feed it with a bottle. It was cute.
Aydan found a toy turn table that he really liked and was rather sad when he realized he couldn't have it. We will have to remember that for Christmas. He was having fun making music.
By this time it was almost 6:30 and it was time to head home. Everyone was very tired.
We got home and soon after, we got the kids ready for bed. Once they were in bed, Nate and I went up to the school track and ran some miles. I got three miles in and and then we did a little bit of "up" work. Sit ups, pull ups, push ups.
Back home. Shower. Comfy clothes. Laptop. French vanilla coffee. Milano cookies.

Saturday was a busy crazy day too, but I just don't have the "breath" to type it all out. 5k run in the morning(Coloma Peach 5k 28:08), trip to the store, a visit with Becca and Hansen's, a birthday party for a 5 yr old (Lily, a friend of Charly - it was like a preschool reunion, lol), and then spent the rest of the evening nursing a headache.

Great weekend. Not sure I am ready to go back to work tomorrow. But alas, I must go.
But for now, I will watch my shows and do some browsing on Amazon...I have some gift cards to use up:)

What?

2011-07-14T07:35:00.000-04:00

Ok, I set up a payment plan with a lovely bill collector. Ya know, getting stuff taken care of. I opted for automatic withdrawal from our account. And I set it up for a couple days past my paychecks to make sure nothing bounced. I get paid on the 1st and 16th, so I told them to take the money out on the 4th and 18th.
Now, here is the dates they have actually taken the money out so far
4/5
4/19
5/2
5/17
6/1
6/14
6/28
7/12
Each time they get a little earlier, WTH?! And the sad thing is...I just don't have the energy to call them. I just don't feel like doing it. Right now, there is enough money and nothing has bounced, so will just roll with it. Maybe they will eventually get so early that I will end up paying off the debt faster, lol. But seriously, I just don't understand the reasoning behind it. Do they do it on purpose? Or do they just have a system that is messed up and don't know what date it is? Who knows.

Optimal Health

2011-07-08T15:04:00.000-04:00

I happened to stumble upon a link to a site about the benefits of living a health conscious life.
Benefits of Optimal Health
Now, I can't vouch for whoever wrote the literature and I wouldn't necessarily recommend whatever he is selling/offering, but I thought the piece was logical to say the least. And for some reason, I seem to be drawn to the word "optimal".
I do try and live a life that includes a relatively balanced diet and I do see the great importance in that and exercise. And I truly do believe we can be healthier, happier, well adjusted people easier through diet and exercise. Is it a cureall? Probably not, but it sure does get rid of some obstacles.
So, according to this guy, when you have reached your "optimal health", you should be able to be/do all these things below. Here they are and my responses:

» Waking up happy, full of energy, and excited to start the day. - HA HA ....NO, NEVER HAVE EXPERIENCED THIS. PRETTY MUCH ASSUMED IT WAS A MYTH.

» Having a steady supply of balanced energy throughout the entire day without any excessive highs or sluggish lows. - TO A CERTAIN EXTENT, YES. I HAVE TIRED TIMES, BUT IT IS USUALLY WORK INDUCED. BUT, I DON'T HAVE DRASTIC HIGHS AND LOWS.

» Not needing any caffeine or sugar to get through the day. - I HAD A CUP OF CAFFEINATED COFFEE THE OTHER DAY, I PAID FOR IT FOR THE REST OF THE DAY. :( NEVER AGAIN.
» Having a high capacity for physical activity. - I LIKE TO BELIEVE SO.

» Having a high resistance to illness and going many years without getting sick. - I DON'T GET SICK OFTEN. AND IF I DIDN'T HAVE KIDS, PROBABLY EVEN LESS.

» Being able to remember things easily, think clearly, concentrate deeply, and have a balanced mind that is free of anxiety. - HA HA...I THINK I GAVE THIS UP WHEN I HAD KIDS. DEFINITELY A MAN WRITING THIS LIST.

» Having a natural tendency to be in a good mood and having a high tolerance for stress, frustration, and irritability. - WORKING ON THIS. I FEEL I AM BETTER THAN I USED TO BE.

» Being able to easily maintain a slim figure and an ideal body weight. - SLIM? NO. IDEAL? MAYBE....

» Enjoying a body that moves freely, smoothly, and is free of pain. - EXCEPT FOR RUNNING PAINS, PRETTY MUCH.

» Digesting your meals without issues such as heartburn, indigestion, gas, belching, diarrhea, or constipation. - FOR THE MOST PART, EXCEPT FOR THOSE IBS FLARE UPS. TMI....

» Being free of food cravings. - NOW THIS, I AM NOT SURE IF IT IS EVEN POSSIBLE!!

» Naturally becoming tired around bedtime and being able to fall asleep easily. - YES, FOR SURE.

» Having an uninterrupted and restful night of sleep. - YEP.

Now, I can look back on this list in ten years and see if I can answer all of them the same way.

Fourth of July weekend

2011-07-06T11:03:00.000-04:00

You have to love 3 day weekends. If you don't. Well, you are crazy. It is great to have nothing else to worry about except to spend quality time with friends and family.
We had no set plans for the fourth except to lay low and I had a race Saturday morning. We did plan late in the week to have a small get together with some friends Saturday night. It is pretty few and far between that we actually get to hang out that we thought it was worth a shot.

Saturday morning we mosied around. Brett met me at the house and we took off for Watervliet. We were both going to run in the Gene Bednarowski 5K Cherry Run. It was the second race in the "fruit belt series" in our area. We got there early and picked up our t-shirts and bib numbers. There was a whole fiasco with trying to deposit money to an atm, but I won't go in to that. Mark and the kids showed up shortly after all that and Brett and I did a short warm up run to get our blood flowing.
Eventually it was time to line up for the race. And we were off! There was actually quite a few people we knew that were running, so it is always fun to run in to them along the way. Even if to just see their backs get smaller and smaller.
We had no idea what the course was going to be like ahead of time. The race started at 9am and by that time, the sun was in full effect and it was nice and humid too. The first mile was pretty good. We raced down by the lake and went down a nice hill and then up a short hill. Not too bad. My first mile split was 7:50. I was surprised and worried that I pushed it too hard. The second mile was still in the shade, but there were more hills. Some of them not so fun at all. Second mile split was 8:50. Hmm, lost a whole minute. In the middle of the second mile, I was definitely feeling the loss of training, the heat, etc. At one point, I just decided to not push it too much and walked for a bit. Oh, maybe about 30 seconds. Then I was back at it. I definitely did not have the same gait as I did in the first mile. The third mile didn't have any hills, which is great, but it was all in the direct sun. I was wheezing through my breathing and was definitely fatigued. In the middle of the third mile, I felt like I needed to pee pretty bad. Which is quite hard to run with, especially while fatigued. I ended up walking for a little bit more to gain my composure and then I was back at it and finished the race as strong as I could. Last 1.1 miles - 10:31. It was a hard race. I didn't train well before hand and I couldn't do much about the heat of course. At then end of the race I had to walk it out. I started to black out a little, but not too much. It definitely took about five minutes before I could talk. Once I decided I wasn't going to throw up or pass out, I headed straight for the bathroom. lol

After the race, Brett, Mark, the kids and I all hung out in Watervliet for a bit. We went to the airport and let Aydan look at some of the planes. We were all getting hungry and since the kids were getting cranky and with the continuous perspiration, we opted for a kid friendly air conditioned place to eat. We let the kids decide and ended up at Taco Bell.

After all that, we were pretty spent and headed back to the house. It was noon and we put Peyten down for a nap and put in a movie for the rest of us. There was some dozing off by the adults and the kids watched the movie.

Later that evening we started getting some stuff set up outside. We got some ice for the beverages. We put up the canopy and we set up some chairs and tables. About 5 o'clock Ecker's came over with their three kids. And the Sadler's showed up with their four kids. And with our three kids...well, us adults were well outnumbered by the kids. We had the slip and slide out for the kids. Sadler's brought a bounce house and the kids had fun in that. We grilled up some burgers, brat burgers, hot dogs, and corn. We had chips, pasta salad, and some other snackies. We all just relaxed and hung out. The kids ran around the whole yard and played well together. Later on, Williamson's stopped by with two of their kids. We got a fire going and made some s'mores. Garry and Cindy hung out for a little while too. It was a very good night and was nice to just be able to relax, have fun, and reconnect with some people.

Sunday morning we got up as usual and got ready for church. It was the first Sunday with the new pastor. I was both excited and nervous. It is strange to realize that I have never experienced a "pastor change" before. My dad was always my pastor growing up and when I was older, I left the church for quite some time. Since I have been back going to church, Ron has been my only pastor.
Jeff did a great job and will be a wonderful addition to our church family. Along with his family. I did have a few times during church where I got choked up. There are just so many fond memories of church with Ron and Jan and to have service without them, well it was hard. Especially during the songs when it is usually Jan on the piano and Ron leading the singing. I am glad that I got to know them and enjoyed church with them so much that I miss them as much as I do now. It is quite a blessing.

After church we went back home and Peyten went down for her nap. Mark took off with Aydan. And Grammie, Charly, and I went next door to use the pool. It was fun just to have that 2 on 1 time with Charly. She even put her face under the water, which she did not want to do at first. And she figured out where she can walk and not worry about going under. And she practiced her kicking/swimming. Oh, and had fun watching mom do cannonballs and dives off the diving board. Eventually she will get more used to the water. We haven't swam enough over the years where she feels comfortable yet. Maybe this year we can get more swims in.

Now I am having a complete mental block and can not remember what else we did that day. I know we relaxed in the backyard for a while and grilled up some hot dogs. The evening was probably more relaxing and hanging out inside.

Monday morning I made some breakfast for everyone. Scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast. It hit the spot. Mark and I showered and headed out. We had planned to have a "date day" while Garry and Cindy watched the kids.
First we went to JCPenny. Cindy had been scanning the ads and saw some good deals we might be interested in...we were. Mark got a new pair of flip flops since his were all falling apart. And I got a new bra. Along with a ten dollar off coupon = very good deal. From there we went to South Haven. We usually go to South Haven quite a few times during the summer and even Spring/Fall, but we couldn't remember the last time we had gone down there. It had been too long to say the least. Well, town was packed because they were preparing for a 4th of July parade. We were able to find a spot to park and walked through the crowd and decided to head to get something to eat. We weren't really interested in watching the parade. Maybe next year with the kids. I had never been on the Idler, so we decided to go there. We were able to get a table on the top deck in the sun. It was quite lovely. Mark had a turkey panini. I got the brisket sandwich. Both were very good. And apparently we got there at just the right time because after not long, there was a line and many people waiting for tables.
After lunch we walked around town a bit. We went down by the water and laid in the grass and watched the boats go by. It was a gorgeous day. Not too hot, but not cool.
After we left South Haven we stopped at Walmart and picked out a couple five dollar movies. One for the kids, one for us. After that, we headed home.
Garry and Cindy got ready and headed out to go boating. I got dinner around - burgers, scalloped potatoes, and green beans. We all ate together and since the kids ate so well, we decided to have popcorn and watch a movie. We watched "Everyone's Hero", which is the movie we bought at Walmart.

It was a very nice end to a long three day weekend.

Calories

2011-07-01T16:49:00.000-04:00

So, because I have a tough time not eating food, I started counting calories. I tend to do this every once in a while to put myself in "check". I go too long and I forget that everything I put in my mouth does have a purpose and/or consequence. And it is amazing how much I can snack in a day. I get hungry A LOT. Occasionally it is the bored kind of hungry where you just want to feed something...depression, anxiety, stress, etc. But, most of the time it is actually because my stomach is growling. That tells me that I just generally eat too much and need to whittle it down so I don't get hungry so much.
So, Wednesday I started counting. I used to break down each food - protein, carb, fat, etc. But this time I am keeping it simple and just trying to eat decent and count the total calories.
According to some online calculator, I should be taking in 1300-1400 calories a day to "lost weight". About 1700 if I want to maintain. I don't want to lose much, but ten pounds would make me happy.
I didn't start counting until Wednesday, but I remembered what I had eaten on Tuesday an tallied that up.
Tuesday - 1682
Wednesday - 1390
Thursday - 1262
Friday - so far I am at 578, which means I have 722 to work with for dinner.
I think I can total manage that since I have been averaging about 300 the last couple of nights.

This is what my eating has looked like:
Wednesday:
Breakfast - 1/4 cup oatmeal with brown sugar, 1/2 bagel with cream cheese
cup of tea
box of nerds
Lunch - 1/2 cup white rice, 4 oz chicken kabobs with veggies, half slice garlic bread
Snack - 1 slice wheat toast with peanut butter
Dinner - 1 cup white rice, 4 oz chicken kabobs with veggies
1/4 cup mint chocolate chip ice cream

Thursday:
Breakfast - 1 cup frosted mini wheats with milk
Lunch - 2 small slices of pizza
Snack - celery with peanut butter
Dinner - breaded/fried pork loin chop, baked potato w/ butter, steamed broccoli

Friday:
Breakfast - 1/4 cup oatmeal w/ brown sugar, 1 pc wheat toast with apricot jam
Lunch - 2 small slices of pizza
Snack - 4 dried apricots, cup of tea, 1 cont. dannon yogurt
Dinner - I plan on having leftover take out that Mark brought home.- probably about 400 calories

I think 4 eating sessions a day is good for me. I probably will add in another snack between breakfast and lunch when I get my portions down. We will see.
But, the whole point for me is to get my eating consistent. My body really appreciates it when I do, so I will oblige and work at it. This weekend will be tough since it is a holiday, etc. But, we will deal with it and move forward.

Food is a great thing. I LOVE food, but I don't have to LOVE it all the time. I can enjoy it when the time is right and every other day, eat as one actually should. Food is fuel, too much or too little is a bad thing.
Good luck Kari!

Catch up

2011-06-30T12:42:00.000-04:00

I haven't blogged in a while. Not entirely sure why. Just haven't felt like it. I haven't had anything specific enough to type away about. But, mainly because I have just been depressed. I have and probably always will battle with depression. I have found a way to live life and cope with the depression, but the thoughts and feelings will never fully go away...I believe. I go up and down. I can go long spans of time where I feel really good and then I will have other spans of time that I just have to force myself to do anything. Usually the spans of time that I feel good outweigh the depression times.

Generally, I get a little down for some time. I realize I need to reach out and I talk to Mark about it. And then I begin to feel better. This just hasn't been the case for the last month or more.
May was a very busy month. It was full of family get togethers, birthday parties, camping, races, outings, etc. I didn't even have time to think about much except for living in the moment and to hope in the back of my mind, that we will catch up on bills. I had been running as much as I possibly could during that time and in to June. Honestly, I didn't have time to be depressed. I had enough stuff pushing me along, I wouldn't have noticed.

Now, running is a catch 22 for me. Running is my "alone time" and also a stress reliever. But, at the same time, in order for me to go running, I have to give up something else in my life. The only time I have to run is at night. Getting up before the kids in the morning is nearly impossible and even if I do, it is like they sense it and wake up too. I start working at 8am and don't get done until 6pm. There is dinner of course and by the time my food settles and kids are put in bed, that is the only time I can run. That is also a good time to finish cleaning up the house, catch up on work, and more importantly, spend time with Mark.
Now, I can go run for a half hour, get home, take a shower, and only miss an hour of time. It really isn't that much...I can still do all the other things that I want to do. But, I think the stress of it all...trying to balance...is what gets to me.

Anyway....I was running quite a bit. Dealing with lots of leg pain and just overall fatigue. More than usual. By the time the Kalamazoo Klassic came around in mid June, I was absolutely beat. I didn't feel like picking up one foot or the other. I had gained ten pounds and I just didn't feel good overall. Bloated, constipated, exhausted, nauseous....defeated.
I ran a decent time in the Klassic and did enjoy the run, but after, I thought it best to take some time off from running. I felt like I needed to give myself a chance to miss it...so I would enjoy it again. It is supposed to be a hobby and not an obligation.

I took the next week off and didn't even bring my running shoes on the camping trip the following weekend. Now, it is Thursday and I have a 5k on Saturday. I plan to run 3 miles tonight and then nothing until the race. My weight shifted back down about 7 pounds and I am feeling much better health wise. I am still pretty depressed and am having trouble seeing the joy in every day things, but I am getting there...slowly.
I also started counting my calories yesterday. I need to hold myself accountable for my food intake. If I don't keep track, then I don't pay attention to each bite and I end up eating way too much. Food has a major impact on depression. I have to remember that...always.

Oh, and my other project is to make a work out room in the basement. We have various exercise equipment, I just need to put it all in one spot and bring the tv/cable over. Then I can run, but also do weights, etc We'll see how quickly I can get that set up. The hard part will be getting the treadmill down the stairs. Will have to find some muscle for that.

Other than all that, I have just been swamped with work. I am working on a lengthy project that basically makes me feel brain dead. I enjoy my job, but this project just is so tedious and long that I dread turning the computer on each day. I find myself day dreaming about that restaurant that I will some day open. Going from a job that can drain me to one that fills my cup. Some day Kari, some day.

So, that is the end of the blog that marks my slow crawl back up from the hole. Yes, most of us do it and we all just have to roll with the punches. You can't appreciate the ups, if you don't have the downs.

Enough said

2011-06-13T09:08:00.000-04:00

I was reading through Ben Does Life as I usually do every other day since he does a good job of keeping me motivated. And decided to hop over to Ben's dad's blog Pa Does Life. I ended up enjoying his writing quite a bit. And one of the posts mentions a quote....which happens to be by one of my favorite children's book author/illustrators. At any rate...I really liked the quote as well. So, I am stealing it from his blog post and putting it in mine.

"I believe in using the turbulence in my life.

I was researching how fish swim in turbulent flow and discovered they could surf on swirling eddies without using much muscle. What I suddenly realized was that obstacles could actually help you struggle less. That was what I’d needed to know for a long time.

I believe I can get around the obstacles in my life not by fighting them but by yielding to them and pushing off from them — to go with the flow.
It’s the way I choose to define the events in my life - by my response to them.

There are natural streamlines in our lives. I find that by letting go, I can harness the complex currents of my life to propel me forward.

Jimmy Liao"

I would go on now about what I think about this quote and how I have already put this philosophy into use in my own life, but I need to get to work and don't have time for all that.
But, I do believe the way that we CHOOSE to define events in our lives....most certainly defines the quality of our lives. Each and every day.
Maybe I will expand about it later...who knows. The quote already says it so well...

Family, Running, and Dedications

2011-06-12T22:40:00.001-04:00

We had a very good weekend. Whenever our weekend is full of family time...it is a very good weekend. I am VERY tired and may have trouble typing, but thought it best to get a blog going just because. So, if it doesn't all make sense...don't blame me, because the words aren't really staying still on the page. And no...I have been drinking, I am just THAT tired, lol.

Saturday morning about 7am, my brother showed up at our house. A half hour later we were on our way to the high school for the Strawberry Run. We were both feeling a bit nervous and excited. I had run four other races prior to this one and Brett had ran one other 5k. We were both anxious to see how we would do. My goal was to make it under 28 minutes. My past three 5k's had dates/times of 08/10-28:39, 10/10-29:36, 11/10-30:21...in that order. Yeah, not sure why I went downhill. I am sure there were some factors, but at any rate, I figured a goal of under 28 minutes was a good goal. I wasn't sure how well I had done with training since last year. There is only so much you can tell by practice runs around the track. Brett's goal was to be under 26 minutes. His first 5k that he did a couple weeks ago, he did it in 26:20. So, under 26 minutes seemed reasonable. Our cousin Zack met us up at the school. His goal was to be under 24 minutes. We also met up with Heather and she didn't have a goal time. She was just hoping to run without too much pain since her knee was acting up and was quite swollen.

8:30 we were ready to start the race. We had a handful of spectators...Garry, Cindy, Jerry, Claudia, Josh, Bethany, Jeremy, Mark, Charly, Aydan, and Peyten.
Starting out was tough since it took a minute to break away from the crowd. But, about 50 yards down the road, I felt like I had a good path and my own space. Now, it was time to figure out what kind of pace I was going to run it. I tell ya, it is really hard to gauge how fast you are actually going. I tried to keep my strides lengthened...but not too much. And I concentrated on my breathing. I didn't want to fizzle out too early. About a mile in, I was already feeling like I wanted to walk. That isn't too uncommon. I usually get the urge to walk, but I rarely give in to that urge. I usually will just concentrate on breathing and slow down a tad until I recover a bit and then I can speed back up and get the strides going again.
The second mile for me is the hardest. I am not sure why, that is just how it is. That is the mile that I REALLY want to just stop. I think, "I can just walk...my time doesn't really matter." "What would it hurt to just walk a bit?" "This running business is horrible, how did I ever get myself in this?" Yeah, I just let the comments and questions run through my head...I know it is temporary. And I just keep running. I "believe" that some day running will be that much easier and I won't have so much trouble throughout. Who knows, time will tell.
There was no 2 mile marker. I thought I had gone two miles, but only an assumption. And with what felt like 2 miles down, I was in the home stretch and I did feel like I had started to hit my "groove" although I was still having to concentrate on my breathing quite a bit. I was tired and I really had no idea how well or bad I was doing. I had no watch and they didn't have people shouting out times at the mile markers. I just tried to keep my pace up without killing myself and hoped for the best.
Down Center street I ran. I tried to just stay focused on the finish line and to keep my legs moving. That is the key ya know...to keep your legs moving. Momentum is a glorious thing. Over the race tracks, take a right, and it was a short stretch to the big, red, blow up finish line. I tried to sprint it over the finish line. I made it in 24:57. I am glad I attempted the sprint...without it, I probably would have been over 25 minutes, lol. 24:57 just sounds so much better than 25 minutes.
I was glad to go over the finish line. It is such a great feeling to be able to just stop running and know that it is over. I have about 30 seconds to a minute where I can't really breath. Not sure if I should stand up, walk, sit down, roll over, puke, or just pass out. And then that feeling passes and I am just left with pride. I completed another 5k. I am happy. And I blew my goal time out of the water to boot. Of course, that isn't always a good thing because now I have to beat that great time...ugh.
But, this is the point where I start thinking about the next race. They are addictive. Even though I spend half of the race wishing it was over, I still can't wait to start another. Love it. If I didn't have the misery of the race, I definitely couldn't appreciate the finish nearly as much. Brett and Zack blew there goal times up too. Brett made it in 23:42(placed 2nd in his age division) and Zack 23:10...I believe. Zack's time didn't register with the chip timer for some reason, so I can't double check my memory(which isn't always the best).

Time for the rest of the weekend:
Everyone came back to our house after the race. We lounged around and did some much needed catching up. It was nice to hang out with Zack, Bethany, and Jeremy since we really don't get to do that too often. We grilled burgers for lunch and relaxed some more. After a bit, Zack, Bethany, and Jeremy took off for home and the rest of us headed up town for the parade. Dad, Claudia, Josh, Brett, me, Aydan, and Peyten sat on the side of the road and patiently waited for the parade. Garry and Cindy were a little ways down the road too. Mark and Charly were in the parade. Mark drove the truck while Charly road in the back with the rest of her t-ball team. She got a huge kick out of that and really liked throwing candy out. Aydan and Peyten had fun watching the parade. Aydan loved the tractors and Peyten would dance to the music.

After the parade, I think there was a lot of napping. I think at one point, EVERY one of the grandparents were sleeping. Brett took off for home. Charly took off to a birthday party/overnight. And the rest of us just hung out at the house. It was pretty relaxing. We had leftovers for dinner and I made a couple batches of chocolate chip cookies. Dad, Claudia, and Josh all stayed the night since we had plans the next day. We watched a movie that night...I almost stayed awake through all of it.

Sunday morning I woke up with Aydan and Peyten. I made some breakfast...hoping that would wake some people up. Coffee, orange juice, potatoes, smoked sausage, and scrambled eggs. After a while everyone mosied around. It was interesting to see if everyone got a shower in before church since there was 7 of us. Don't worry...we all got clean and still made it to church on time. And we met Brett, Mindy, Mike, Luke, and Natalie up at the church.
We were very honored to have both our pastor and our Dad do the dedication for the kids. All of the family couldn't be there, but I was glad for who could. Our church family is very important to us and they have already had such an impact on our kid's lives. We feel so blessed to have such amazing people in our christian community. We felt that doing the dedication was our way of making it official...a way to say that we want our children raised in this church and that we appreciate the impact that our church family has on our kids. Already Charly, Aydan and Peyten feel so at home when we go to church on Sunday morning. They know the faces of the people. They look forward to going to church. They are happy to be there. I just hope we can continue being an example for our children. That they understand and know that being a part of a church community is an essential way to learn and grow as a christian. And that is essential for life.

After church we fired up the grill again and put some hot dogs on. We kept it simple and just had chips and fruit to go along with. It was a gorgeous day out, so we were in and out of the house. We just had a relaxing day with friends and family. The kids ran around and had fun..and tired themselves out. I think all three of them were ready for bed at least an hour early! It was just lovely to be able to visit and enjoy everyone and not have to worry about work or anything else.

Now, it is 10:30pm and it took me way too long to write this blog post because I think I just caught my second wind. The words aren't swimming on the page quite as much as when I started.
Tomorrow is Monday and I need to start gearing up for my next 5k which is NEXT WEEKEND. I don't know what I was thinking planning them so close together, but I am geeked to say the least. Another run with my brother. Curious to see how it goes! And then it is Father's Day. And then the following weekend is camping with the Unrath's and Behlers. Can not wait for that either! Gotta love summers full of family activities.

The good stuff

2011-05-31T09:10:00.000-04:00

I pulled in the driveway, looked back, and just had to stare for a moment. Three kids completely wiped out, sun worn, and dirty. Gotta love it.

I started the morning with a hankering to get outside. I decided to be productive at the same time. I brought the kids outside and worked on the garage a bit. Now, the garage is a project that is just going to take time. I just slowly eke away at it when I get the chance. Eventually (probably years), I will have nice neat shelves, hooks, and cabinets. But, until that day, well will just do what I can. The kids played in and around the van. Hopping over seats and pretending to drive. They played with the various wheeled toys. I need to put air in a few tires, maybe today. I organized the "to be sold" pile and brought inside some remaining items leftover from the storage haul. I got rid of some trash and consolidated some other things.

It was started to get hot out. I was loving it. After a weekend up North which required a sweatshirt the majority of the time. I was welcoming the 80+ degree weather.

Peyten went down for a nap and I continued to do the laundry from the camping weekend. I put away more camping stuff. I did the dishes. Slowly dinked around.

After lunch and when Peyten was up, we went out to the backyard. I gave the kids popsicles. I was going to just hang out in the backyard all day, but it just didn't seem to cut it. I mean, I had the day off after all. I didn't need to hang out at the house. Mark had went to go hang out with a buddy, so the kids and I decided to hit the beach. I packed only the items that I could carry on one arm. I knew the beaches would probably be crowded, so wanted to make getting there as easy as possible. Towels, juice, snacks, buckets and shovels, and sun tan lotions.

We decided to go to the Lions' Club Park. I thought it might not be as crowded. I was wrong, but that is ok too.

It was a good workout getting everyone down to the beach. There was a small hill of sand we had to go down. I had to hold the stuff and Peyten. And then once we got down, I had to buy a pass and then go back up to put it in the van. And then back down. Ha ha...yeah, good workout.

The kids had a blast. Charly loved running in and out of the water. Aydan had fun digging in the sand. And Peyten had fun "trying" to explore. There was a lot of picking her up and bringing her back to our spot on the beach. She just wanted to check everyone and everything out.

We hung out there for a while...until Peyten started to get cranky. We packed up our gear and walked over to the playground. The kids loved that too. They were all over the place. Climbing, sliding, jumping.

After a while, Momma had about enough chasing kids and sun, so we trekked back up the hill to the van. I had promised them McDonald's, so we stopped there next. Oh my goodness was it busy. We seemed to have gotten there at exactly the wrong time. There was about 8-10 large families. They were all of the same descent and seemed to know each other. Not sure why they were there all at the same time, but there were adults, teens, and little kids. Crazy. We ordered our food and then Charly had to go to the bathroom. There was a line. Ugh. I held on to Peyten, but Aydan was saying he didn't want to go in the bathroom. I think the hand dryers hurt his ears, so he was having some anxiety about all of that. We got in though and Charly was able to go and we went and picked up our food. Lots of chicken nuggets and french fries. And then after Peyten put a french fried covered in ketchup in Aydan's hair, we were off again.

The kids were getting cranky, the sun was getting to everyone, and it was passed nap time, but I had one more stop to make. We went in to Meijer to return bottles. The kids do well helping with this. We each had our own container. 15 dollars later, we went in to the store and I let the kids pick something out for helping.

Toys, milk, and a little bit of change from the $15 and we were on our way home. About 7 minutes in to the ride, they were all asleep. I decided to get off on the Coloma exit and take the back roads home. That would give them a little more rest time. It was pushing 6 o'clock and I knew they wouldn't be able to nap once we were home. And it was still gorgeous out and I enjoyed the drive.

So, yes, when we pulled in the drive, everyone was tired and worn and ready to be home. It was a wonderful sight. I just looked back at them and thought, "this is what life is about". Spending time with family and playing hard. If you aren't exhausted by the end of the day, you didn't do it right.

And since we were all ridiculously sand covered...next was bath time!!

Between an excellent camping trip with some most excellent people all weekend. And a great Memorial Day with the kids. I had one of the best weekends I have had in a while. I wouldn't take back a moment for anything. Now, I sit here drinking tea out of my Michigan mug that Garry and Cindy bought for me in Mackinac. The tea, Cindy bought at the cafe across from their hotel. It is white tea with pomegranate and guava. Very smooth and not too sweet.

I am not ready for work, but I am just going to have to get over that. Back to the grind!!

Mackinaw Bridge Race 2011.

2011-05-30T00:31:00.000-04:00

Heather and I were a tad worried about it all. I mean, there are so many factors and you just don't know what to expect. So, you tend to just ....worry. I mean, what else are you going to do to prepare? :P

We all arrived in town on Friday, the day before the race. We got settled in our campsite and decided to head out to drive over the bridge. It had, after all, been a while since any of us had been over it.

Well, driving over it was a tad what I expected. I felt small and the bridge and water seemed so vast. So large and dangerous. The hill on the bridge seemed large. I was glad to drive over the bridge, but needless to say...it didn't calm my fears.

We were expected to be ready to board the bus at 5:45am on Saturday. We set our alarms for 5am and mosied out of camp. While we were in the community bathroom, we ran in to two other runners, who had both ran the previous year. We asked about the hill and how bad it was...I mean 5 degree incline is a pretty good climb. One of the girls said, "oh, you don't even notice it, it is nice and gradual". The other girl told us that she wasn't a very fast runner and she made it in an hour last year. That calmed some of our fears...worrying about the hill and finishing well over an hour.

The bridge was only five miles away from camp. It was cold. The van said it was 45 degrees. Could be worse...at least it wasn't raining. Heather, Brandon, and I took off our layers of warmth and walked over to the rec center in our running gear. I decided to go with long pants and a short sleeve shirt. I was hoping I wouldn't regret that decision. The rec center wasn't too crowded since the groups of people were staggered between 5:30 and 6:45am. We made a quick pit stop and then loaded the bus.

The drive over the bridge was short. Well...5.8 miles to be exact. We knew we would be running back to the same spot.

The bus drops us off at the end of the bridge and we walk over to the starting point. We all do a quick stretch, thank God it isn't really raining (only a slight drizzle at times), and figure we are about as ready as we are ever going to be. And we take off.

We all found our pace pretty quick. It is a bit daunting starting the race out with that massive bridge ahead of you. You look down at the rocks and the clear water and you know the bridge is just going to get higher and higher and the water deeper and deeper. Not before too long, the incline begins. And that lady lied, you do notice it! I am not saying it is incredibly difficult and it is gradual, but you do feel it and you do notice it. And you can't wait for it to be over. So, for the first 2.5 miles, you are steadily looking up and wondering how quickly you can get to the top of the hill. My legs were very sore as they have been every time that I run. My calves were on fire and the top of my right ankle was feeling some strain. I think it was the incline that got to that.

There were many times that I felt like walking when going up that hill. But, I just kept my eye on the top of that hill and said, I can make it to there, and if I still want to walk, I can do it later, but I have to get up the hill. Secretly, I knew that I would no longer want to walk once I got to the top.

I passed some people and then other people passed me. And there was a steady stream of cars, trucks, and motor homes passing me on my left. They had cones down the middle of the one side of the highway and the runners had one lane to themselves. I kept looking out to my left and right. We had really hoped for a beautiful sunrise, but alas there was too many clouds in the way. Oh, did I mention the rain was starting to pick up? It was turning from an occasional drizzle to a light rain. I looked down and noticed my shirt was quite wet...and no, not from sweat.

And then it happened. I made it to the top of the hill! This is not quite as miraculously feeling as it sounds because the grade is so gradual, but there was a point where I noticed...hey, I am running on flat ground! And I could see the other side of the bridge. And then the next best thing happened, I started going downhill. This was great. I lengthened my strides and tried to keep my momentum going. And at the same time I was recovering, I wasn't breathing as hard and my legs softened up. I wasn't feeling as much pain...either from my "3 mile run"...where I generally get a little numb. Or just my legs liked going downhill much better than up.

So, I sped down the hill and as I did, the rain picked up and it was pretty much a down pour. I was soaked and there was rain water dripping off my nose. It continued to rain as the road straightened out again and I just kept pushing harder because well, I wanted to get out of the rain.

Soon enough, I got to the end of the bridge. The rain let up and I just had puddles to deal with. The end of the bridge pretty much marked 5 miles and I knew I only had .8 miles to go. I pushed on. I really was doing well with my breathing and wondered if I could have pushed myself a tad harder, but I am not beating myself up about that one because I really did have a nice pace that I was happy with.

After the bridge there was a turn, then I saw Mark, Nate, and Brooke cheering us on, then a straight away, another turn, up a small hill, and a sprint to the finish. I finished in 47 minutes 57 seconds. I was glad to be done and find myself a bottle of water! Apparently I had a pace of 8 minute 16 second miles. I am still a bit baffled at that and wonder if the math is wrong. But, I used one of those online pace calculators, so it should be right. If I can indeed run a mile that fast...for nearly 6 miles, then I should do well in this next 5k...we will see.

We all did really well and I was very happy to have done the race. I definitely think it was worth it all and will probably be doing it again next year. Hopefully with the same crew, if not more. Now I have a time to beat.

After the race, they had a hot breakfast for everyone. I had eggs, biscuits and gravy, sausage, fruit, coffee, and oj. It hit the spot. And then Cindy walked up and handed me a race sweatshirt. I was contemplating buying one and just when I decided not to, she walked up with one. Very nice! So, I have a t-shirt, a hooded sweatshirt, and a medal to prove that I was here and I did run.

After full bellies, it was time to go back to camp. We were all ready to change into clothes that weren't sopping wet!
Everything that we feared and worried about turned out to all come true. Large hill. Cold. Rain. But, I wouldn't take any of it back. I think it was an incredible experience and makes a good story to tell in years to come. And next year, maybe it will be sunny, warm, with a gorgeous sunrise. Hey, a girl can dream. The best part of the run? When I was at the middle of the bridge, I had a moment where I thought to myself "Hey, how did I get here?" Not too long ago, I was working crazy hours, drinking a lot, not eating right. At some point in my life I had decided to make a change for the better. I started thinking about what I put in my body and I started to really appreciate the ability to exercise. And now I am running races and enjoying myself in the process. Needless to say, I am very happy with this new hobby of mine. I made a lifestyle change and I don't think I will be changing back any time soon. I am happy with myself. I like myself more. And I feel much more confident. Hmm...all from running...crazy how things work. God stuff.

Getting ready for the bridge!

2011-05-20T22:52:00.000-04:00

Ok, so I am not nearly in the shape that I wanted to be for the Mackinaw Bridge Race, but I am farther along than I used to be...or so I think;) These weeks leading up to the race, I have been trying to stay steady with my "training". It has been hard since there is ALWAYS obstacles, but I just keep trucking along. I really try and run every other day, but there are some days were I don't run for two days in between...and yes even three day sometimes :( And that really does deserve a sad face because when I let too much time go in between I can tell and I feel like I have to work that much harder to get "back up there".
But, this week I have been running every day. I know this is a bit of a gamble because my legs are really feeling it, but I want to make sure I am prepared....but not over do it. I do realize that I don't want to be in severe pain on race day. That would not be fun.

So, Monday I did not run. Tuesday I ran 4 miles, I was generally sore. Wednesday I ran 2 miles (with a lot of calf pain). Thursday I ran 2.5 miles (with again, a LOT of calf pain). And let me tell you when I stop running, it is like those calves tighten right up and I feel like they are going to pop right off. It is quite painful. Today, Friday, I ran 3 miles (with less calf pain, but still lots of cramping after stopping). I am hoping to run 6 miles on either Sunday or Monday and then I will taper off and probably won't run on Thursday and definitely not on Friday. Saturday I board the bus at 6am with Heather and we will be on our way to race over the bridge.

Which brings me to my next topic regarding "getting ready for the bridge". My fear. Yes, my fear of bridges collapsing. My fear of heights. My fear of getting dizzy and passing out and falling off of high places...thus the fear of heights. Let's just say that running this race is a big step for me. One, it will be the longest race that I have run so far, it is 5.6 miles, with quite a hill. Two, it is forcing me to face a lot of my fears head on. Third, well...there is no third I guess. Or we will see...

I have lived with the fear of things collapsing for quite some time. I am not sure when it started...I remember as far back as high school. I was on a trip with my Uncle's church down in Georgia and we were in a large hotel with a lot of people. I had what one would call a small panic attack. I had to leave and sit outside for a while until I was able to go back in. I have never let this fear stop me from doing things...I mean, I do realize the fear is quite irrational. People look at me very funny when I tell them. But, certain buildings, bridges, vehicles, balconies, I just can't stop thinking about ...what if it breaks? what if all the wheels fall off? what if the 2X4's are all rotted and no one knows it, and they are just waiting to fall apart? what if...yeah, you get the picture. It really annoys me that those thoughts go through my head.

I have done a lot of praying. I have done a lot of facing those fears. I continue to live my life despite those fears. I may get a little quiet and silently freaked out, but I just keep on going. If I didn't, I would live in a one story house and not drive anywhere. Vacations would suck!

Last weekend I was at my sister's house and the family and me got talking about my fear again. There was some puzzled faces and some laughs as well. Whenever I go to someones house where there is going to be a lot of people, I get nervous. I start thinking about it well before they event. I guess I think that more people means more weight to test out the house's structure. My sister's house doesn't concern me in general, but there is a slanted floor in the kitchen that just gets me every time. Don't worry, I made it through and no one fell through the floor...shocker.

On the drive home I got to thinking as I always do... I know my fear is irrational. I can think about the physics and understand that the probability of something bad happening is slim to none. And for the life of me, I can't "think" my way out of my fear and the uneasiness that goes with it. Sometimes I tighten my whole body up, just afraid to move.
And then I had a realization.
I am not afraid of buildings, bridges, balconies collapsing. What, you say? But, you have been talking about being afraid of just that for the last 3 or 4 paragraphs!

I wondered to myself, what if I am actually afraid of my WORLD COLLAPSING and for some reason I have to transfer that fear on to something physical. It was a thought, and the more I thought about that thought, the more I thought it might be true. (I know, that was a lot of thoughts!) I do have this crazy control issue. Ok, not so crazy, I mean, I keep it in check most of the time. But, I am not as easy going as I would like to be. I don't like sudden change. I get uneasy. I like it when things are planned and expected. I don't want my world crashing down around me. Not at all.

And then you know what happened? A couple days later I realized I wasn't so scared. I didn't freak out nearly as much when the kids jumped in the family room (which makes the floor move). I didn't leave the kitchen when there was more than 2 people at a time in there. My heart didn't jump so many times in a day. Am I finally drastically improving? Time will tell. But, at any rate it is a step or multiple steps in the right direction. I have had an epiphany and that can only be a good thing. I have to stop being so scared that life isn't going to turn out as I expect it to because one thing is guaranteed, life will not turn out as I expect it to, and that absolutely ok.

So, if you have a glass, toast with me to a life more free!!

Random thoughts

2011-05-20T19:59:00.000-04:00

Don't talk on your cell phone while pumping gas. Thirty dollar fill turns in to fifty real quick
I love when it is time for new shampoo. I get different kind each time. This time it was almond and shea butter...reminds me of the beach! Want to have my toes in some sand!!!
Note to self: Don't shop at Hardings while hungry. The smell of fried chicken becomes unbearable.
One of the best things about running in the cold is when you get home to take a shower, your skin is cold, but your core temp is hot and then you can't tell if the water is scalding hot or ice cold...no really, you CAN NOT tell.
I believe when I had children, I became magnetized...way too often do I find many kids "stuck" all over me.
Neutrogena body wash is the shizz.
I love trying on clothes now that I am actually one size...not in between two different sizes. SO much easier.
What is more of a "waste" of food? Eating it (when you already had enough)? Or throwing it in the trash? hmmm....go figure.

Now that all those thoughts are out of my head...maybe there is room for more! lol

Charly's candy experiment

2011-04-27T09:49:00.001-04:00

The rules were that she can eat all the candy she wants and she doesn't have to ask. I told her that I wouldn't force her to eat "regular" food either. It was entirely up to her what she ingested all day.
She started the day off with some hesitancy. She kept asking me for the candy and I kept reminding her that she doesn't have to ask. Throughout the morning, she really got in to it and kept going back more and more often for more candy.
After a while she was just sitting in the kitchen eating/sorting/playing with the candy. She would say "we could open a candy store with all this candy like Willy Wonka!" And "if you are going to the movies, you have to have candy!"
And then she would just fill up her pockets with the stuff.
She didn't get sick and she didn't get too crazy. She did develop a sort of develish laugh, but she wasn't bouncing off the walls or anything. And she slept great that night.

Here are my notes from that day. I tried to keep track of what she ate, but lost track after a while:

9am
sucker
air head
4 large robin's eggs
sippy of water (her request)
gumball
gumball
large sucker - didn't finish
gumball
gumball
gumball
large gumball - didn't finish
2 chocolate coins
opted for no lunch
3 tootsie rolls
turkey sandwich (her request) - ate half
half candy cane
jelly bean
malted milk ball
jelly bean
air head
life saver
air head
"my teeth hurt"
malted milk ball
air head
hard candy
sitting on the kitchen counter eating candy and playing with gumballs
lost track of what she was eating....
dum dum
jolly rancher
dum dum
lost track of the candy...she had a pocket full
Slice of pizza
Ice cream bar
gum
BED!!!!

Tidbits

2011-03-28T16:51:00.000-04:00

Charly walked up to me with her leap frog video game and said "Did Aydan lose his purple juice with this?" I of course said "what?!?"
And then I remembered that earlier in the day I had told Aydan "you are going to lose your privilege with the video game if you don't behave."
Privilege....purple juice..it is close;)

Aydan's favorite word lately is "somewhere".
Where is your sippy cup? Somewhere.
Where is your sister? Somewhere.
Where did we park? Somewhere.
And you can almost see the joy in his face when he gets a chance to say...somewhere, lol

We were driving back from Chicago after visiting Dan's mom, who has cancer. Out of the blue, Charly asked "What is Dan's mom's name?" I told her Cheryl. Then she said something else that I couldn't hear, so I turned down the radio and asked her what she said. She replied with some attitude "I'm not talking to you mom! I am talking to God!" Then she proceeded to say a prayer for Cheryl and she asked God to help her because she is sick. I love that my daughter chooses on her own to pray for people in need of it....even if she gives me attitude about it!

We were having chicken for dinner the other night. Mark was holding Peyten and he said "chicken!" to her and she replied back with the most perfect little "chicken!". It was just too cute. Of course, she hasn't said it that good since...but Mark and I heard it, so that counts;)

I went to the grocery store the other night and I took Aydan and Peyten with me. And for some reason, Aydan kept saying "Can you drop me off mom?". I asked him where and he would say "with the alligators, at the zoo!". I of course, told him no and he would ask "why?". Some things are just hard to explain to a 3 year old....even after I told him that I couldn't leave him alone and the that the alligators would eat him...still his reply was "why?". Poor guy...just wanted to see the alligators.

Peyten enjoying her...er her dad's burrito

2011-03-23T19:54:00.000-04:00

Weekend Bliss

2011-03-20T23:23:00.000-04:00

Some people believe that I work pretty hard. And I think I do as well. I am sure that I could work even harder...I mean there are 24 usable hours in a day, but I do need a little down time for my sanity.

And why do I work hard? Is it because I am a work-aholic and just love working all the time? Do I make myself rich off all this hard work? Am I constantly trying to live up to an unrealistic expectation?

Well, I can't say yes to any of those questions. The real reason I work hard? It is very simple. I REALLY enjoy not working. I know that makes no sense at all, but really think about it. How could I ever really enjoy and appreciate not working if I didn't work hard? Managing through a week of phone calls, emails, projects, kids screaming, dinner, laundry, cleaning, being pulled in every direction. With all that, it makes my weekends oh so lovely.

And this weekend was one of those weekends that just takes the cake.

Saturday started out EARLY and when I say early, I mean 4:30 am and Charly was crawling in to my bed. She was coughing and trying to go back to sleep, but once she is up, she is up. We laid there and I would drift off and then she would cough and wake me back up. And then started asking me if we could go in the living room and watch toons. And next to wake up was Peyten a little before 6am. Which is rare, because she is usually the one to sleep in until 8am. I think the large back tooth come in was the reason why.

So we all went out to the living room and Aydan came out shortly after that. I became the human jungle gym laying on couch. One kid snuggling next to me, another on top of my side, and another curled behind my legs. Not an uncommon picture early in the morning. By 7am they were all hungry and we had bagels and cream cheese for breakfast.

We enjoyed the Saturday morning and laid around. Played, watched a movie, and relaxed. By 9am, Peyten was ready for her nap, which usually isn't until after 10am. By 9:30 everyone was getting hungry again and I thought it was time for lunch...but it was only 9:30!! I felt like half the day had gone by, but since I had gotten up so early, the day was moving sooo slllooooww and I was loving it. So, we got some snacks and continued to lounge. We did have a big day of nothing planned.

The weather outside was turning absolutely gorgeous! It was supposed to be about 60 and the sun was out and about. We had some mac n cheese and hot dogs for lunch and then decided to go and play outside. All three kids ran around the yard, played on the swing set, and really loved being able to just yell and play. I got our hammock set up and got to lay a little bit on it. Mark was out in the back of the property burning some brush that needed to be taken care of.

I took the kids for a walk through the back of the property. Peyten walked for some of it, but then would get caught up in some prickly things and need to be carried. I loved watching her. Her little 1 year old mind, and everything is still so new. She walked so slowly listening to each crunch of the leaves. Touching every thing that stuck out from the ground. Looking and trying to figure out everything in her sights.

The other two did great running around and had fun exploring. Our campsite that we set up a few years back still looks good and it really gave me the itch to get the tent out. The kids are all at a good age to go camping and I can't wait to take them this year.

After the walk, Aydan stayed and helped Daddy burn the brush. Aydan has become so much more independent the past few weeks. I love it. The kid used to be scared to go up and down the stairs to the basement. Probably has a lot to do with the bear's head that is above the stairs. He used to want to be carried all the time. Now, he goes up and down the stairs no problem and even makes excuses to have to go up and down. He will forget a toy or have to go get something real quick. And with being outside, he would walk back to where Mark was with no problem. The spot was about 200 yards from the house and he just looked so cute walking out there all by himself. I know...cheesy mom. :) At one point, he was sitting on the log watching Mark and then he just got up and started walking back to the house. Mark asked where he was going and he simply said "I'm going to get some juice, I will be right back". I guess you had to be there, but it was too cute.

After adventures outside, Peyten went down to take a very good afternoon nap. And Charly and Aydan both got some hot cocoa. Aydan kept drinking it straight down and then Grammie would make him some more. I guess the kid really liked the cocoa!

I felt like we had been having fun and running around all day, but it was still only 2:30 or so. What a gift for the day to go so slow like that. I felt like I had been given extra time and I was just able to appreciate every free moment I had with the family.

Peyten was napping and Aydan was back out helping Mark, so Charly and I went over to a friend's house to pick up a couple couches they were getting rid of. Charly had so much fun because since they were moving, there was a lot of stuff on the floor...including spare change. They said she could have whatever she found, so she filled her pockets with pennies and couldn't wait to put them in her piggy bank at home. I had our minivan with us and figured just to put the couches in the back (one at a time of course). So, I put all seats down and we loaded one in. Well, this meant that Charly had to sit in the front seat. The girl was stoked to say the least. She was already having fun helping us out and that made her feel like such a big girl. Now she got to sit in the front, which made her feel even more special. We were only about a mile from home, so we made a couple trips to get the furniture. And we made a stop at the store to get milk and a couple things for dinner.

Charly loves her special time and I love getting that one on one time with her. Even if it is only for an hour or two.

Garry and Cindy had plans for the evening, so we had the house to ourselves. We ended up eating dinner a little later than usual. I think it was around 6:30. We had steak, scalloped potatoes, and sauteed peas and onions. It was simple and hit the spot.

After dinner, we decided to give Aydan a hair cut. His hair was getting a bit long, so we buzzed it off. I remember when his hair was so long for a while when he was younger. It was always in his eyes and I never knew really what to do with it and then one day I just decided to buzz it all off. Mark and I both were like "oh, there he is!". It was like he wasn't really "Aydan" until we cut his hair. For some reason I think the short hair suits his personality well. That way we can see all those crazy expressions he does, REALLY well.

So, then it was bath time for all the kids and then I went ahead and cut Charly and Peyten's bangs too since they were getting a little long.

By that time it was time for bed and away they went!

Mark and I got some relaxing time in. We didn't really want to watch the same thing, so we opted to sit together, but be on our own laptops. He watched a war movie called Passchendaele. And I watch my netflix, which happened to be another disc of Season 1 Fringe. I have no idea why I like that show so much, but I really get in to it. Who knew....

By the end of the third episode of Fringe I was ready for bed! Now, doesn't that sound like the longest day ever?! It felt like it kept going and going...it was great!

And then there was Sunday....

At some point in the night, which I was too groggy to really know what happened, I ended up with two kids in my bed. I had Aydan on my right and Charly on my left. Luckily I can sleep through just about anything and barely woke up. I really should have gotten up and put them both back in their beds, but I just don't have a lot of brain function during the night.

Ah well, I am sure at some time in my life I will miss being able to snuggle with my kids, so I won't get too frustrated with it now! Plus, they slept until 7:30, so I wasn't complaining too much.

We got up and the kids did their usual. Sat on the couches in the living room. I turned on toons. They got milk. Pillows. Blankets. They were set for a little bit and since Peyten was still sleeping along with the rest of the house, I chose to sneak in a shower. That is one thing I didn't get to do on Saturday! When I came out of the shower, it didn't look like they had moved at all.

Now, the night before I had made a promise about pancakes...although, I can't remember why at this point. I am sure we were bargaining over something. Well, Charly certainly did not forget! She was ready for her pancakes. So Charly, Aydan, and I whipped up a couple batches of pancakes. In the meantime, the rest of the house woke up. Ya know, more often than not, Peyten wakes up once food is prepared. I think she catches a whiff and knows it is time. :)

After scarfing down a bunch of pancakes it was time for Charly to get ready for Sunday school. I went and dropped her off at the church and came back home. I was so tired for some reason. I really just wanted to curl in bed and go to sleep. The weather was cold and dark and I blame that for the sleepiness.

But we got ready and went to church at 10:30.

Favorite quote: In Sunday school they were talking about how Joseph had 11 brothers and Charly exclaims "oh man! 11 Aydan's!" lol

After Church we rounded up some leftovers for lunch and then it was time for Peyten to take a nap, which she was more than happy to do. Mark, me and the other kids took advantage of the quiet time and got out pillows and blankets and watched the race. Ok, Mark watched the race and Charly, Aydan, and me all fell asleep. It was a great nap! Of course, it made me even more groggy, but that is ok...it was worth it.

Charly's cough was getting worse. She had had one for a while, but it was just at night or in the early morning. Now it was sounding worse and going all day. Not much slows Charly down and this cough still didn't slow her down, but she did have a few moments throughout the day where she would say she just didn't feel good. Poor thing. I doubt she will be going to school tomorrow.

Peyten and Aydan were still napping when Charly and I woke up. We decided to bake a cake, so we put together a Wacky Cake. A recipe my cousin gave me that I quite enjoy. It is a simple chocolate cake that doesn't require any eggs or butter. You just mix it all in one pan and throw it in the oven. It is a very simple and easy way to get in a chocolate fix. The cake turns out nice and light. You could frost it, but I usually don't.

Wacky Cake

1 ½ C sugar
2 ¼ C flour
4 ½ T cocoa
1 ½ t soda
¾ t salt
½ C oil
1 ½ T vinegar
1 ½ t vanilla
1 ½ C cold water
Sift dry ingredients twice (or just stir together!).
Add oil, vinegar and vanilla.
Pour water over all and stir well.
Bake in a 9x13 pan at 375F/190C for 30-35 min
This can be mixed right in the cake pan.
Top with favourite icing/frosting if desired!

The other kids slowly woke up and then I decided to get my run in. I have been trying to follow a "training schedule" to prepare myself for the Mackinaw Bridge Race in May. I know it will sneak up on my before I know it, so I am tyring to be prepared. At this point I know I can finish the race and won't die in the process, but I would like to be able to do half way decent at the same time. I doubt I will be last and I know I won't be first. But, I would like to be able to say I gave it my all. If I am going to drive 5 hours and pay 45 bucks to run across a big hill suspended in air over a large body of water...well, I better give it a really big effort!!

So, this is what the training schedule looks like:

I didn't start in with this schedule until "week 10", but I am pretty determined now to stick with it. I like having something laid out for me. Something to hold me accountable. Plus, I have Heather to hold me accountable as well. She is running the race too. She is the one who started the training schedule and we banter back and forth about what we have run and how we are doing. Sometimes I get in a slump and then she will tell me about a good run that she had and that will get me motivated to get back in gear.

So, today I ran 70 minutes. I decided to try and do a mock bridge run. I set my incline to 5 degrees and started running. I ran 3 miles at 5 degrees and 4 mph. Then I ran another 2 miles with no incline. It was a good work out, I am really sore right now. That incline is what gets you. But, I am hoping to up my speed on the incline by Race Day, which I don't see why I wouldn't be able to do. It is just a matter of building more muscle in my legs.

So, I wasn't able to do the full 5.6 miles in the 70 minute time frame, but I will work on that. I came close. And who knows, maybe I can do the full race in less than that time some day soon....:)

So, running and a shower and then it was time for dinner. Mark threw in a couple pizzas to make it easy.

After dinner, Aydan, Charly and I went to the store to pick up a few things. I needed to get some cough medicine for Charly and picked up some Gatorade as well.

By the time we got back from the store, it was already almost 7pm. I told Aydan it was time to get some comfy pants on and he actually asked to go to bed! And then after I put on some pj's for Peyten, she pulled a pillow on the couch and acted like she wanted to go to bed. And since Charly wasn't feeling well, we figured it was a good idea for everyone to go to bed a little early.

After the kids were snuggled in, I made a cup of tea, had a piece of Wacky cake, and watched a movie called My Life in Ruins. It wasn't too good of a movie. I mean, it was pretty cheesy, but I liked it...it was endearing. If you don't like the main character, I wouldn't suggest it at all. But, it was an easy watch and made me smile a few times. Not sure I would watch it again though.

And then to end the day, I get to write this blog post and listen to the wonderful thunderstorm outside.

It was a really good weekend.

Self Image

2011-03-08T14:54:00.000-05:00

How do you improve your self image? I have been trying to master this for many years and still would not call myself successful. How did I end up with such low self esteem? And honestly, my self esteem has gone up over the years. In high school I was ridiculously cruel to myself. And as of right now, I feel I had a lot of wasted years. It is hard to enjoy life when the person you despise is right there with you all the time.

Rationalize ~ I tell myself...hey, you are a good looking person. You come from a good looking family. You have been hit on enough times to know that someone out there thinks you are good looking. According to a BMI calculator I am at a "normal weight" at 21.6 BMI. I wear a size 6 in pants and medium shirts, which is pretty average. What more do I want?

Overcome ~ Tell myself to just stop thinking about it. Enjoy life! Focus on everything, BUT my imperfections. Be that person that looks like they don't have a care in the world. Quit obsessing.

Change my view ~ Focus on the things that I do like about myself instead of the things that I don't like. Hands, feet, lips, eyes, hair, butt. Ignore the belly, thighs, arms, nose, acne, wrinkles, scars.

Does any of this work? Um well...not so much. I mean, sure a little. Like I said before, my self esteem has gotten a bit better since high school. It is more of a "controlled self image" rather than an "out of control, I don't know what I am going to do with myself" type of image.

What is my fear? My biggest fear? That my daughter's will inherit my horrible self esteem. Or my son for that matter. I desperately want to figure all this out and "fix" myself before my kids start to pick up on all this crap.

Sometimes I think about this...I would totally be anorexic if I didn't love food so much. Not often can two wrongs make a right, but apparently it does for me. I often daydream about not eating and just whittling my body down to as small as it can be. I can imagine how anorexics think. But, that thought lasts about an hour or two and then hunger sets in and I am back at the refrigerator. I just don't have nearly the amount of will power it takes to starve myself...even for a day! And I am very thankful for that.

I have come to realize though, that there is nothing to fix. I don't need to "fix" my self esteem problems, I need to become ok with them. I need to understand that those feelings are not going to go away anytime soon and I can't just blink years and years of negative thinking away. I have to set a goal and work my way towards it. And right now I believe I am in the middle of that goal. I am sure by the time I am old and gray and EVERY thing on my body sags, I will finally be not just ok, but happy with who I am. I can stop being so critical of every darn little thing I do, look, say, or am. It would be doing God a great injustice to be anything different than what he made me. Because I tell ya, trying to be this way or that, is just down right exhausting.

I am thankful though, that I am not that out of control, scared, self loathing teenager anymore. I do feel I was robbed of a time of life that should have been spent enjoying all those things that teenagers do. Don't get me wrong, I have very fond memories of growing up...I just feel like a lot of those memories were tainted due to my own fears. I could rationalize, I could overcome, I could try and change my view, but I was still that teenager that felt so alone, awkward, ugly, strange, out of place, and in desperate need of control.

I can choose how I think and act, but choosing how I feel...I am still trying to get that one down. I am hoping by choosing how to think and act will help the feeling come too....

So, will my kids inherit my low self esteem? I certainly hope not. And I will do everything in my power to make sure that doesn't happen.
We can try and avoid all the horrible ads geared towards women and young girls. The tiny little scantily clad models who have been touched up. We can try and avoid heartbreak and pain and suffering. We can try and avoid people who can be degrading. We can try and avoid many things that might crush our spirit.
What on Earth with all that avoiding do? I honestly believe the change has to come within. It is hard to change your surroundings, but we do have a better chance of changing ourselves. How we perceive the world is completely up to us. How we choose to react to the world is completely up to us.
If the devil walks up to you and says "you are fat". Are you going to hang your head in shame or you going to look him in the face and laugh. I prefer to laugh...it is much better medicine for the soul.

Winds of Change

2011-02-16T23:18:00.000-05:00

It is about that time in our lives when everything changes. Well, not everything of course. But, I have been feeling a slight discomfort for a while. A sort of restlessness. If I were the lady in the movie Chocolat, I would be packing up shop. Turns out it was for many reasons. It is amazing how many directions my life seems to be going all at once. Of course, it seems like a lot, but I think it is all gradual and slow.

~Mark got a job and has been working at a shop in Dowagiac for a while now. It seems to be working well and doesn't kill his back too much. This makes my life change quite a bit as I have the kids more and continue to work. It is all doable, just takes a bit more planning on my part each day. I am trying to keep the kids on a schedule in order to keep myself sane.
Mark's sleeping pills still seem to work for him, which is great. Good sleep is so important for his mental and physical health. He also finally got some glasses. He can read longer and drive better at night. That is a huge change for him as well. He is quite enjoying all that.

~With Mark working, it makes our finances a bit easier to manage of course. I am hoping that this year I can get all our medical debt taken care of. Having it gone this year might be asking too much, but it is a goal. If we can at least make some really good head way, that would be awesome. Considering medical debt is about the only debt we have...well, that would just take a huge load off. Then we would just have the van...always seems to be vehicle debt:)

~Our pastor is leaving this summer. Mark and I have both become close with the pastor and his wife and it makes us very sad to hear they are leaving, but very happy for them at the same time. I am both a bit nervous and excited to see what this next pastor will bring to the table. It will no doubt be a change of pace.

~Aydan is potty training and not doing too bad with it. We finally just had to start forcing him because he wasn't showing any interest at all. We don't really "force", but give him two choices....one of which he wouldn't want;) He is proud when he does go, but we are still working on getting him to tell us when he needs to go. Other than that, we try and just get him in there many times each day.
He also is doing much better at talking. We can understand the majority of what he says. Only sometimes does he say something that we just can't figure out. And I think he has a lot of fun talking...when he says whole sentences sometimes he just has this little smile on his face like he is proud of himself. Its cute.
Aydan is our OCD child. It cracks me up some things he does and other things...well, it is frustrating when he gets way too upset because his frosting on his piece of cake isn't facing up. At Meijer the other day, we were buying some bulk Valentine candy. They had different colored candy hearts, each color in their own bin. We were done gathering candy and I told Aydan it was time to go. He grabbed more candy and I told him "no more", but then I realized he wasn't taking more...he was putting the right color candy's with each other since they had gotten messed up. He is so very particular about certain things and now that he can talk and tell us, it all makes sense why he had so many tantrums when he was younger. If things aren't a certain way AND he can't tell us what he wants...it was like his whole world was crashing. Hopefully he outgrows some of "particulars", we will see. At least now he can talk and tell us what he expects and doesn't have many tantrums. We try not to indulge him too much though. I mean, I will put a different food in each spot in his four compartment tray. I will do the bed time routine each night (cover him up with specific blankets, give him flashlight, kiss, noses, hugs). But, some other "requests" are just ridiculous and for the life of me I can't think of an example right now.

~Some changes have been made at work, for the good. I will actually have a little less work to do and won't be up all night working anymore...at least not every night. As of right now, I turn on the computer first thing in the morning and sometimes don't get done til midnight or after. Of course I take breaks for meals and carting kids. Even though it will reduce my pay a little, I look forward to eliminating the extra responsibility. I still feel very blessed to have my two jobs and really enjoy what I do. Especially since it allows me to be around my family on a daily basis. It may get crazy, but I am not sure I would have it any other way.

~This Spring I think, we are going to do a lot of cleaning and organizing and even more changes to the house. I am looking forward to all that. We are going to just keep doing little things for now. I bought a new faucet (which I love) for the kitchen sink and I am planning on painting the bathroom soon. We will see what else....

~And for me specifically, I am entering a new phase of my life. I am officially done with the baby making/breastfeeding phase. Of course, I have been done for a little while, but I am finally starting to feel like my body has returned to its "normal" state...whatever that is. So, with the physical changes, I think I also have some emotional changes too. Kind of like my life isn't on hold anymore and I can begin to focus on things that I would like to do. I have been still trying to run. It has been difficult with the hectic schedule and the treadmill not always being accessible at the convenient times to run, but I am working at it. I am hoping with the reduction in work, I can finally get on a schedule and maybe even just go the gym in town in the evening. I have to continue training because Heather and I signed up for the Mackinac Bridge Run Memorial weekend. We have a campsite reserved and will go up for the whole weekend. The run goes over the bridge which is five miles...which the first half is at a 5 degree incline. It will be difficult and challenging for many reasons, but I am looking forward to it. I will have to face a couple of fears. Heights and bridges...especially a bridge you can see down through! Lots of people all at once. And let's just hope that it isn't a windy day or raining.
I faced another fear last weekend...speaking in front of people. It wasn't much, but I helped host our church's Valentine's Dinner. I was nervous and it is way out of my comfort zone, but I did it and it wasn't too bad, maybe even a little fun.
Part of me wants to hole up inside and not face any fears and stay "comfortable" and the other part of me wants to keep pushing myself and facing those things that have always held me back. I can be outgoing...it just doesn't come naturally to me. Luckily I have a big extrovert as a husband to help nudge me.

~ Charly is growing out of all her clothes. She has clothes that she got for Christmas that are already getting too short. Yeah, big growth spurt. And when we go to pick her up, there is a pause because it just isn't quite as easy. She still loves school and loves her teacher Mrs. Hillman. She got rave reviews on her report card.
She loves playing house and trying to boss her brother and sister around. Her knew thing lately is disciplining Aydan. Funny thing is that when she says "go in time out", he listens! After he sits for a minute she has him get up and asks him why he was in time out. Then they hug it out. Well...she has the technique down. I tell Aydan he doesn't have to be in time out when she tells him, but I think he just enjoys the "game".
Charly has a tough time staying in bed at night. 5 nights out of 7 she will crawl into my bed in the middle of the night. Sometimes I make her go back to her bed and other times I barely even wake up. I don't know why she wakes up in the middle of the night, but hopefully that will pass soon.

~ Peyten found her voice...er I mean scream. Yeah, it is loud and it does hurt your ears. I think it just goes directly past your ear drums and in to your brain. But hey, I guess she is communicating. We will keep working on the actual words though. She still eats like a horse. We have to slow her down sometimes. She will stuff her mouth full and then pile in another piece after that. She loves most kinds of food and there really isn't much she won't eat..well, scratch that because I can't think of anything she won't eat! I don't know...there has to have been something. Anyway, she eats her food and then she will get down from the table and check out the other plates and finish her brother or sisters food. Eventually we will probably have to break her of that habit;)
She sleeps great at night. She really only has trouble sleeping when she doesn't feel good or has a tooth coming through. When I say it is nap time she will run to the fridge to help get a milk. She likes being in her crib most times and sometimes she just likes to have "quiet time" to drink her milk and play with her stuffed animals, read her book, or play her music.
She has developed a bad habit of hitting. Sometimes it is kind of her way of showing her love. She will smack us in the head and then give us a big hug after. Well...we will work on that. Other times, who knows what she is thinking. I was holding her one morning and getting sippies of milk for everyone. She had hers and I gave Charly hers and the next thing I knew...Peyten chucked her sippy right at Charly from about a foot away. It hit her square in the nose and Charly was bleeding for at least five minutes after that from her nose and mouth. I felt so bad for her. Gotta watch out for that girl!

~ I wrote this post this morning before work....I am just now finishing it up! Yep, that is pretty much how it goes around here:)

I am sure there is more going on in our lives, but this is a blip of it. We are having fun and watching each other grow and that is a very good thing.

It's December!!

2010-12-02T07:39:00.000-05:00

I guess it is time for a blog post. Not sure how long ago my last one was. It is 7am and Charly woke me up at 6:30. Which is great, because that is the longest we have slept in, in a while. Aydan and Peyten are still sleeping. I am not surprised the Peyten is, but I am surprised that Aydan is still sleeping.
Yesterday was a long work day. It was just crazy busy and I think I hopped on the computer around 8am and wasn't done working until 12:30 in the morning. It was just one of those days that it was one thing after another. Ya get one thing done and another pops up. That is ok..extra hours for Christmas money:)
I am on early this morning so I can stay ahead of the game. The best part about super busy days is that they are usually followed with pretty relaxed days. We will see how it goes. My main goal today is to catch up on sifting emails...making sure everything has been handled. And catch up on testing. Need to plow in to that.

Oh let's see...other than work, what has been going on? Mark has been sleeping! Yes, this is an amazing thing to us. Mark has never slept well...as long as I can remember. And we have tried various sleep pills over the years, but each time a pill will sort of work for the first couple days and then nothing at all. We found some...I can't recall the name right now...that knock him out completely. They still don't really kick in for a couple hours, but once they do, he is out for the night. A good 6 hours of sleep is so much better than a lousy 4. And he has been using these for about the past month or so. Good, consistent sleep is really good for his overall health as well. His back is still painful, but we are working through that as well. If you compared Mark health wise to how he was doing a year ago, he is doing much better!

Kids....oh, let's wrap them all up in to one paragraph. Peyten is teething the last couple of days. She is getting more teeth on the bottom and she has been wanting to be held a lot. Poor thing...I know that has to hurt. Charly is having her first sleepover tonight. She is so excited. I am excited to watch the girls play. Too cute. And Aydan is testing out his independence and loves being able to articulate his wants and needs.
Yesterday Charly and Aydan were too funny. It was the first snow of the year and it was really coming down. Well, Charly was adamant that she could wear her snow pants to school...ONLY her snow pants. She didn't like when I told her she had to wear pants underneath them. Geez! lol And Aydan looked out at the snow and said "Christmas!". Well...not yet buddy, but we are getting there! And then Aunt Dana took the two of them out in the snow and they had fun running around in it.

I am getting back on the running horse since over Thanksgiving. I got busy and lazy. More lazy than anything I think. It was a nice little break. But, Tuesday it felt really good to get a run in. I ran 2 miles and played with the incline a little. Nothing crazy, but it was a good work out.
Now I am just looking forward to Christmas! I am bummed we are going to miss out on some family Christmas's, but I am super excited to be spending majority of December with Nathan! I feel like it has been so long since we have seen him. The 12th can't get here fast enough!:)
We have a lot of our Christmas shopping done. Just a few more things to get. I have most of it wrapped as well...just need a tree to put it all under! lol
Oh, and this weekend I am going to a friend's house to make Christmas cookies...can't wait! It will be fun to do with all our kids. We need to get a plan going of what to make!

Love this time of year

2010-11-23T16:30:00.000-05:00

This time of year gets crazy and hectic and I just love it. I can do as much or as little as I want and yet it is still all enjoyable.

Last weekend Dana and I took a road trip. We had been talking about going to Zingerman's in Ann Arbor for years and we finally set a date and went. I had been before, but Dana had only ordered out of their catalog. Prices border on ridiculously expensive, but if you want to guarantee a good product, I think you are safe to buy here.

Here is a glimpse of their cheese counter.

The building is not too big and it is quite cramped, especially when you get thirty or so people all trying to order from the deli counter, cheese counter, meat counter, bread counter, or sample all the oils, vinegars, and jams. But, amidst all the chaos, the staff is super friendly and helpful. They zone in on you and make sure you have all the info and samples you might need. You can tell they enjoy their jobs.

I ended up buying some "soft stinky" cheese called a Lincoln Log. One of Zingerman's creations.

Cheese has a wonderful affect on me. It brings me back to every fond memory I have in my brain. It makes me feel relaxed and at peace. It has the "feel good" qualities of chocolate times ten. I know this isn't true for everyone, but having some excellent cheese just makes me happy.

I also scored some chorizo for Mark and me to try out. I don't have a picture, but the kind that I got was cased like sausage. It was a tad drier than what we are used to from the Mexican store down the street from us. I took it out of the casing and fried it up with some eggs. It didn't crumble like what I am accustomed to, I actually had to chop it, and the flavor was quite sweet. I did like the chorizo quite a bit, but with my eggs, I think I prefer my Mexican store better. The fact that it wasn't as greasy was a nice quality though. If I could blend the two varieties, I think it would be perfect. Or, I think I will try the rest of the chorizo in a different dish.

Before hitting Zingerman's, we picked up some lunch at Blimpy's. Which has been a college town favorite for quite some time. We got there around 1pm on a Saturday and there was a line, but it wasn't all the way to the door. The restaurant is set up in an old house. And old, I mean the floor moves and creeks and I get a little nervous with all the people;) I think we waited in line about 15-20 minutes. The staff are trained to be "to the point" but not quite rude. They yell at you if you sit down in an empty chair while waiting in line. They yell at you if you get your cell phone out while standing in line. They yell at you if you don't each have your own tray to put your food on. And I saw the same lady working there, that I saw 13 years ago, the first time I ate there. I didn't get yelled at thankfully, but a girl behind us got the "singles are only for kids, not adults". Apparently she wanted a snack of a burger.

I got a triple burger on a kaiser roll with bleu cheese and fried mushrooms. Topped with some mustard and lettuce. On the side I went with onion rings.

The whole premise behind Blimpy's is quite genius.

1. The building never needs to be updated...that's the charm.

2. No servers, you stand in line and get your food straight from the cooks. Keeps the overhead low and plus you get to see your food being cooked which ups the level of trust.

3. You choose your own food. There are a couple preset sandwiches, but I think the majority of people go in there and build their own burgers. If your burger doesn't taste right...well, it is pretty much your fault and you have no choice to go back and try and build a better burger.

4. The burgers come in sizes of double, triple, quad, and quint. The quint is only 8oz. Since they use smaller patties, they can maximize flavor, but the keep the food cost low.

5. Using a small patty, there is only one way to cook it so there is no asking medium rare, medium, or well. Keeps the line moving.

6. They set up a specific way to order and put instructions at the beginning of the line. They can be rude to you and you end up liking it and coming back for more. It is so preposterous it is comical.

7. They grind their own beef fresh daily. Not only does this keep food cost down, but it keeps the burger tasty.

8. It is a burger joint. I would say 95% of their sales are from burgers (and sides), if not more. They do have a few other sandwiches on their menu, I don't know if they get ordered. Limited menu keeps the food cost down and also keeps the line moving quickly.

I am sure there are a few other aspects that I failed to mention, but someone had an idea, everyone liked it, and it just took off. I don't know if Blimpy's would ever expand. It might ruin the charm of the place. I just know that I will be back for another burger next time I am in the Ann Arbor area.

Sunday was a day with our church family. We had a great service and then a turkey potluck after. The church provides turkey, stuffing, potatoes, gravy, and drinks and then everyone brings a dish to pass. I, of course ate too much food, but it was so good.

After church, the kids stayed with Grammy, Papa, Dana, and Dan and Mark and I went to help a friend paint her house. She just signed on her new place and needed to spruce it up before she moved in. We are so happy that she finally found a place of her own and were so happy to be able to help her out, even just a little.

Now it is time to prepare for Thanksgiving. I love Thanksgiving, it combines two of my favorite things. Food and Family:) We will have quite the crew over here for Thursday and I can't wait. We will have a nice combined effort on food, here's the menu:

Breakfast:

Beignets and coffee

Apps:

Cheese ball and crackers

Bacon wrapped ricotta stuffed dates

Ham, pickle, cream cheese roll ups

Deviled eggs

Chips, olives, and any other snackies we can dig up

Dinner:

Deep fried turkey marinated with garlic and herbs

Roasted turkey breast

Stuffing (reg)

Sausage Oyster Stuffing

Mashed potatoes

Gravy

Green Bean Casserole

Corn

Sweet Potatoes

Rolls / Bread

Spinach Salad with red onions and Bacon Vinaigrette

Apple Salad

Dessert:

Squash Espresso Pie

Pumpkin Roll

Chocolate Banana Cream Pie

Mint Chocolate Chip Cookies

Are you hungry yet? Because I am!!! I have already gained two pounds in preparation for Thursday. Ok, I didn't really plan that...:( But, we are blessed, eat up!

And then on Friday, we are off to my dad's house. I am not sure who all will be there, but I know that there will be lots of family, including my cousin from England! We talked about doing a "leftover day", so we will see what kind of food the Selleck's come up with. I will just be glad to relax with everyone and catch up. It hasn't been that long since I have seen everyone...but it sure feels like it!

Saturday and Sunday? Well, no real plans except to catch up on my treadmill time and maybe have some movie marathons with the fam. And maybe get some Christmas decorations out.

Four day weekend from work...love it:)

Feeling of calm

2010-11-10T12:12:00.000-05:00

Every two years or so...ok, so it isn't that far apart...I get this feeling of calm. I love it. I really can't describe it and maybe I am just crazy for thinking it, but I just feel like my world is as it should be and I am just so content with that.
I am constantly happy that I am married to Mark. I could not have asked for a better husband, partner, and best friend. I am truly blessed to have someone that gets me, understands me, and anticipates my wants and needs. Not to mention that I never get tired of him. I think I could spend every waking minute with him and be ok with that...we practically do that already!
Charly is just so beautiful and I am so proud of her. She is growing up so fast and I love watching her personality blossom and I love to watch her learn and crave knowledge.
Aydan is turning in to a little man. And he is just so sweet sometimes. Don't get me wrong, he still has some crazy tantrums, but they are much fewer and farther in between. I love one on one time with Aydan, he is almost a different kid. I think he is going to be my little introvert. He enjoys playing make believe with his sister and he is having fun trying out different words, phrases, songs, and noises. Give that boy a barn or tractor book and he is in hog heaven....and I don't mean a kids book, I mean the catalogs that you order farm supplies from..he will sit and look at it for an hour!
Peyten is finding her voice and it is fun to see her grow up and she still looks like a mini-me. She will definitely let you know now if she wants something. She saw her brother and sister with some candy and screamed because she wanted some too....yeah, Halloween was a turning point for her. She didn't really have candy before that...watch out! She is learning how to deal with her brother and sister as well...and doing well with it. She will fight for a toy if need be.
Me, well I am just happy where I am at. I still enjoy my jobs. And I still have my jobs! Which is a blessing. I am really enjoying running, it is my escape from my crazy life. It is the "me time" that is much needed some days. And the fact that I have seen the number on the scale go down some...makes it even better.
The house is slllloooowwlly coming along, but that is ok. We knew it would be a long process and we will just keep plugging away at it. Eventually we can sit back and look at all the hard work we put in to it. Sometimes the waiting and hard work is part of the reward.
And I love having so much family around me. Yeah, sometimes there are bumps in the road, but on Saturday morning when you can wake up and have breakfast or coffee with mom, dad, grammie, papa, aunt, uncle, all the rugrats...without getting out of your pajamas, it is great!

Anyway...back to the crazy life!!....and feeling of calm:)

November

2010-11-03T09:06:00.000-04:00

With November comes the alarming realization that there are only 3 short paychecks until Christmas! There are presents to buy, food to plan, trips to budget and oh so much more... I am looking forward to Christmas with the kids. This year Aydan will be much more in to it and even Peyten will be able to enjoy opening presents, etc. I love watching the kids get excited about lights, ornaments, candy, presents, snow, toys, trees, and the list goes on...
And this year we aren't on quite so tight of a budget which makes everything a bit less stressful. We know that Christmas isn't all about presents and we will still keep the kids presents to a minimum, but it is just easier when you don't have to stress where it all comes from. It makes it a little more fun to shop as well.
And this year I am hoping to do more baking...cakes, cookies, pies...ya know, all the good stuff.

And of course, with November comes Thanksgiving! It is a toss up which is my favorite holiday. I think Christmas surpassed Thanksgiving as my favorite because I get to see much more family during Christmas. Although, Thanksgiving still holds a close second because I LOVE to cook Thanksgiving dinner. I always want to do a little experimenting with different dishes, but people really like their usual favorites, so I end up keeping it pretty traditional. We will see, maybe I will try something new this year.

Happy Holidays!!!

Halloween 2010

2010-10-30T23:29:00.000-04:00

This year for Halloween, we set out to do as much as we could. It is after all, one of Charly's favorite holidays....I mean, why wouldn't it be for a candy fanatic! So, we checked things out and tried to plan ahead. If we didn't make it to everything, that was ok.

On Thursday, Charly had her Halloween party at school. I got to go help out and Mark stayed home with the kids. It was a lot of fun. It was great to see Charly in her school environment too. We played games, sang songs, walked a parade at the elementary school, ate snacks. Priceless.

On Friday evening we got the kids dressed up and headed over to Watervliet. The downtown businesses were passing out candy. Here is Charly excited to be trick or treating!

And Aydan wanting to be held...the entire time! My arm was a bit sore....

And Peyten, who worked really hard to suck the snickers out of the package. Her first candy bar!

On Saturday afternoon, we planned on heading to Kalamazoo to go trick or treating at the mall.

Here is Peyten getting ready.

My little pumpkin!;)

Aydan, dressed up as a "horsey boy!" (his term...because he rides horses, not cows of course!)

How cute is he?!

We got a lot of odd stares due to the black eye....ah well. He just looks like a "tough" cowboy.

Charly the princess!

The mall was nice because we didn't have to worry about weather and rough terrain, but we were a bit surprised that not a whole lot of stores participated in passing out candy. I would say 20% of the stores passed out candy or stickers. We actually got 4 times the amount of candy in Hartford in the same amount of time.

Well, it isn't all about the candy...oh wait, yes it is.

On Saturday evening, we went trick or treating in Hartford.

Here is Mark pushing Peyten and Charly leading the way!

Grammie and Papa not far behind;)

And Aydan took the lazy approach to trick or treating. He stayed in the stroller the whole time and just hung his bag on the side of the stroller. He is really good at saying trick or treat and thank you though.;)

Trick or treating in Hartford is fun. We get to stop by the houses of the people we know. Not to mention, they make out like bandits with the candy.

After a long day of getting candy, they sat down and watched Alvin and the Chipmunks, ate pizza and cheese balls.

Oh, and we found out that Peyten finds bouncy balls down right hilarious!!

It was a good Halloween.

Peyten

2010-10-27T11:32:00.000-04:00

People ask how Peyten is doing and for some reason it is hard to describe. She is turning in to a toddler! Her personality is just coming out more and more. And I love to see those streaks of "color" throughout the day. She is still pretty different from Aydan and Charly, but she is starting to show some of their determination and strong will. I love it. (well, not always at the time) :)
A typical day for Peyten?
She wakes up usually after her brother and sister. And she usually sleeps all the way through the night. It is maybe once a week (if that) that she will wake up in the middle of the night. And she usually has good reason. Teething, fever, thunderstorm, etc.
So, she wakes up around 7 or 7:30 and watches toons with her brother and sister and drinks some milk.
We usually eat breakfast around 8 or 8:30 and she is generally a good eater. This morning we had oatmeal and bagels. She loves the bagels and as you can see below makes a mess of herself with the cream cheese!

After breakfast is a little bit of play time. She gets in to the toys and tries to not let the other two take them from her. She will start to get a little fussy around 9-9:30 and then it is time for her first nap. We give her a bottle of milk and we don't hear a peep out of her again until she wakes up. And even then, she usually plays for a bit and then hollers for us. Her first nap is on average about 2 hours, sometimes more. We have been laughing because lately we call it her "poop alarm". Every nap she takes, she wakes up with a poopy diaper. It is seriously comical. We can smell it as soon as we open the door...."oh, Peyten's poop alarm went off!". She will probably kill me for that remark when she is older..hopefully we can remember:)
Next is lunch and she is sometimes a bit distracted at this time of day, but you give her cheese and she scarfs it down like crazy. We usually have peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or leftovers. And she really loves bananas too. She eats a whole one in 3 minutes flat! Ok, maybe a few more minutes than that...but the point is she really likes them.

Lot's of play time after lunch. And yes, she does like to bang on the drums when we give her the chance.

She runs around the house. When she sees the gate open to the kitchen, she makes a break for it. And screams if we shut it before she gets there. She figured out how to climb on the dining room chairs...and then climbs on the table too. She loves playing with the farm animals and she likes playing with the cars and trucks too. She is usually pretty happy with letting Charly treat her like a doll, but she does have her breaking point with that. Boudaries girls...:)

She still just has the biggest smile I have ever seen. She smiles with her entire face. I love it. And she will do it when you least expect it. She loves to give kisses too. You never know what you are going to get though...puckered up or mouth wide open. And sometimes when she is sitting next to us on the couch, she will just wrap her one arm around our neck and give a good squeeze.

She is just a lot of fun to be around. She isn't quite the "all laid back" girl that she used to be, but she is still pretty easy going. I love when she answers our questions with a loud "eh!" I think she is saying yes.. She does say mama and dada and an occasional papa. And we have heard a few other things that sound very similar to phrases we have said. Her mind is a workin...and I think one of these days she is just going to start sputtering out sentences!

So, afternoon nap is around 3pm and she usually sleeps around two hours. Sometimes less, sometimes more. Dinner time she eats pretty good too. She gets so excited when grammie and papa come home from work. She will run over and put her arms up for one of them to pick her up.

Kids all get a little crazy in the evening. It is usually all a blur to me. Peyten plays, gets in to stuff, makes a mess...you get it. Then it is time for bed about 7:30.

When I was putting the kids to bed the other night. I gave Aydan his kiss, I gave Charly her kiss, and I looked over, and Peyten had stood up in her crib and was puckered up waiting for her kiss! She usually just lays there and drinks her milk while I read stories to the kids. It was too cute.

Anyway, pretty average day for a toddler. Oh, and on our home scale she is weighing in at twenty pounds, so I am calling that good and we put her in a front facing car seat! She loves it. The first time I put her in it, she smiled and kicked her feet in enjoyment. Now she can watch the movies with her brother and sister. ;)

Training

2010-10-26T22:00:00.000-04:00

So, I have been getting in to these 5k's lately. I have only done two so far, but I am just loving it. I run with a friend of mine and it has been nice to have someone else to share it all with.

I have always enjoyed running. I have done it on and off over the years for different reasons. It is a great stress reliever and of course it keeps me in shape. I hope to continue and get in even better shape! The races are fun, but they also keep me motivated. I figure if I can plan one each month, well than I will have to make sure to keep training to get ready for each race. And if I keep running and training then I tend to make better lifestyle choices with sleep and diet, etc. Plus, I get a t-shirt every time! :P

Now, when I got back in to running after Peyten was born, I was determined to just make it a mile without panting like I was dying. After a while, that got easier and now a mile is pretty darn simple. I ran as much as I could, which sometimes wasn't too often, other times a lot. My life goes in spurts and so does my running. But, the key is that I keep on going no matter what. I ran in the rain and ran in snow. If I didn't, I might miss out on the small opportunities that I get to run. Now, we live in a house with a treadmill which makes my "opportunities" more, which is nice. I ran through a lot of leg pain, but now that is a thing of the past.

5k equals 3.1 miles. 3 miles is still hard for me, but it is getting easier. And when I am training, I usually stick to 1 or 2 miles at a time. But, a year from now I bet 3 miles will seem like a cake walk. Ha! we can only hope...
Ok, so my training. I figured that I need to think about it a bit more. I am really going to work hard at trying to improve my time. I got 28:39 in my first race and 29:36 in my second. I wasn't too happy about gaining that minute in my second race, but I think I just wasn't pushing myself as hard. Plus, with the move and everything, I hadn't ran nearly as much as I should have before the race. But, it is really hard to pace yourself. It is hard to gage how fast you are actually going. On a treadmill you have a machine that keeps track of all that for you.
Last week my goal was to run 7 miles. Whether that be on one day or split up on all seven. Well, I had rough busy days Mon and Tues and Wednesday I ran 2 miles and then I had a kidney infection and the flu the rest of the week. Needless to say...I didn't reach my goal.
So, this week I started out Monday, one mile at 5.5 mph.
Today I ran 1 mile at 6 mph
Tomorrow I will run a mile at 6.5 mph...you get the drift. I am going to see how fast I can get up to.
And next week (or the week after) I will start on 2 miles at slower speeds and work my way up.
Not really sure on the time frame, but the idea is to keep pushing myself and sticking to the specific times and steady increases.
We will see how it goes...

Blessings and to do's

2010-10-05T09:00:00.000-04:00

Sunday we went to my parent's house for dinner. It was a lovely day.  Lots of food and relaxing. At one point we were sitting around talking about how God blesses each of us in so many ways. And so many times, it only takes a thought about a need and all of a sudden God will fulfill the need. I mean, we have things fall in our laps right when the need was the greatest...sometimes small and sometimes large. Food, money, clothing, toys, household supplies, or even just extra hands to get a project done. And really, sometimes they are needs and sometimes wants. I remember not too long ago I was thinking I wanted some tomatoes. I figured I would get some at the store next time I went. Two days later, my neighbor came over with a basket of tomatoes! They had too many and needed to get rid of some. Quite a while ago, we were low on cash and getting low on formula. I probably could have managed to buy the formula, but money definitely was a stress point. Well, the next day a friend of mine came over with 6 or 7 cans of formula. She had too many and needed to get rid of it. Oh, and I had thought about buying an external hard drive to back up my files. It was low on the priority list, but something I needed so I didn't lose my pictures. A while later I went to visit my dad and he so casually said, "hey, do you need an external hard drive?" Of course, I thought I had mentioned my need at some point to him, but no I hadn't. He just went to an online way of storing files and no longer needed the hard drive.
The list is long and I really could go on and on. It is just amazing how blessed we are on a daily basis. And I wonder too, how many times I have been the tool for God to bless someone else. I think about that each time I get a weird hankering to give something to someone, or make a phone call, or send a message...anything. There is usually a reason and I don't need to know what it is. Maybe someone just needed to hear a voice or maybe they really needed an apple pie or maybe they ...again, the list could go on.
So anyway, we were sitting around talking about all this and then Claudia remembers something..."hey, does anyone need a baby gate?". I had to ask..."does it have a door?" because just the day before, Cindy and I were talking about how nice it would be to have a gate with a door to block of the kitchen from the little ones. The gate we had was difficult, you had to step over it or move it out of the way. And with how many times we are in and out of the kitchen, it was a pain. Anyway, yes the gate had a door. It was Exactly what we had wanted.
Of course, God isn't without humor as he watched me try and install that gate the following day. It didn't fit across the doorway, it was too small. And with trying different scenarios with bookshelves, etc to fill the space, it was either still too small or too big. And that is with extensions that come on and off. Seriously, it was comical...if it wasn't so frustrating. But, I ended up getting it rigged up pretty good and when Dan got home, he rigged it up even better for me. Now it is so much easier to get in and out of the kitchen with a door!:)
Although, trying to install that thing first thing in the morning was a bad idea. My first thought was to get it up and have it done. But, really the frustration just put me in a bad mood for most of the day:( Mentally, I should be able to look past all that and realize that I shouldn't let a bit of frustration ruin me for so long, but boy it is hard to get out of that mindset. It just seemed like it was one thing after the other after that. Garbage was full. Dishes needed to be washed. Dishes needed to be put away. Floor was filthy. Toys kept piling up. And there was just stuff everywhere that needed to be brought downstairs and put away. I just felt like everything was piling in on me and I couldn't breathe.  And Mark had to be at the courthouse for most of the day, so I had to adjust nap schedules to take Charly to school.
I had started my new shift with work, 10-6. So, it was nice to not have the 8 o'clock rush as usual, but I had really wanted to plow in and get some organizing done with work and wasn't able to do as much as I wanted.
So, I prioritized and for right then, the priority was to get my house in order and get my mind a bit more clear. I went back and forth between work and house throughout the day. I put away the clean dishes and caught up the dirty dishes. I took the trash out. I got the kids dressed and fed. I got some work done. I put Peyten down for a nap. I made sure Charly had everything she needed for school. I got some work done. I made lunch for Aydan and Charly. I woke Peyten up. I loaded all the kids and took Charly to school. Aydan had a meltdown when we got back and I had to give him some tough love. He ended up taking a nap. Peyten and I had some quiet time in the living room and I got some work done. I started doing the kids and my laundry. Mark got back in time to pick up Charly from school. He ended up taking Peyten with him and they ran some errands after picking up Charly. Aydan woke up while they were gone. I relaxed in the recliner with a heating pad on my belly for these cramps.
Mark made dinner. I organized the kids toys in the living room. Then we ate, and then Aydan and Charly went downstairs with Mark and watched a movie. I stayed up with Peyten and got some more cleaning done. I swept and wet swept the floor. I vacuumed the living room. I finished organizing the toys. I folded the laundry. And then I got to work on the kids room. It had gotten a bit messy and I needed to organize their clothes. I pulled out all their winter stuff and put away all their summer stuff and anything that didn't fit anymore. It felt really good to do all that. Now they are set for a while and their closet isn't as jam packed. By the time I finished that, Mark had already started to get the kids ready for bed. Jammies, teeth, stories, and they were in for the night. I was ready to sit and relax. Mark did the dishes and I finished up folding the laundry. I made a hot cup of cider and cozied in for the night. I even stayed awake to watch Castle with Dana.
Today I woke up with a smile...ok, it was a forced smile...but I am working on staying content in the morning and not worrying about all I have to do in the day. I try and just wake up, get the kids some milk, and only worrying about cuddling with them for a bit. Then I can get started on my to do list. And today, my only goal is to get work done and clean the bathrooms. We will see how it goes....:)

Um, yeah.

2010-09-27T22:22:00.000-04:00

I keep thinking about posting....thinking about posting....thinking about posting....oh, and more thinking about posting.
And right now, I thought about it, but don't really feel like doing it. But, if I just do it, I will stop thinking about it so much!
Now, what were all those posts I thought about.....???? Um, yeah.

Last Friday I made a really stupid mistake at work. One of those mistakes that just makes you go "what was I thinking?! I am smarter than that!" Well, I spent the next two days trying to "recoup" my brain. Lately, I kind of feel like each day I push my brain to the max and then at night I fear going to sleep because I know that "two seconds" later I will be up and doing it all over again. I guess I just crave mass amounts of time that I don't have to think about anything.
I don't want to think about the kids and what they are doing. How we are raising them, what we are doing right, what we are doing wrong.
I don't want to think about work and all the incredible amount of things that pull my brain in so many different directions.
I don't want to think about bills, paying bills, where the money is going and budgeting.
I don't want to think about where everything is. Since we are still living in "limbo" it is a constant struggle to remember where we put anything. I went to make laundry soap and either the ingredients are hiding in the basement somewhere, where I thought I put it. Or it is in storage....anywhere.
I don't want to think about what part of the remodel we are doing next, how much we can afford, how much we can afford for the next step.
I don't even want to think about what is for dinner. We have had the least interesting meals lately. I just don't want to bother with it. I am not used to cooking without "my stuff" and even the stuff I do have here at the house, it is hard to get to.
And the lastly, I don't want to think about all the things that I know I am forgetting. I mean, I forgot to pay the car payment. I don't have my desk with all my "filings" where I like it, so I just plum forgot. Oh, it got sent out within the grace period, but still frustrating.

Well, I didn't really intend to rant on like that. I am just tired and tired. Today was one of those days when my body just didn't like me. I woke up with body aches, I had dizzy spells, I was cold all day, and I just felt like I could barely pick up my arms. I really think all that was due to some dehydration. My body really doesn't like going without water for more than a day and I didn't drink any the day before and I don't think I drank much the day before that. Don't worry, I will step it up from here on out:)

This post is sounding a bit down...hmm...that really doesn't reflect my life right now. I mean, all that is true...I am tired of thinking yes, but I am just so stinkin happy to be a part of my family. I gander at my kids and husband and just fall in love all over again. They are all amazing.

The thing is, I may get burnt out, but stopping thinking about life and all the aspects just isn't an option. And that is ok. I built my life. We built our lives. Each part was a conscious decision. I am right where I intend to be. If I wasn't challenged in my life...even on a daily basis, I would feel a bit lost. I fear the day when the kids are all out of the house and I retire. I think I wouldn't know what to do with myself. I mean, I can't even wait a minute thirty for a cup of water to heat up...I have to put the dishes away, wipe the counters, anything to keep me busy until 3, 2, 1, beep! And why am I typing this blog? Because I can't handle sitting idle during the commercials while watching Castle.

Well, it is time to cuddle in for the night. I am thinking a warm blanket and drifting off to sleep....

Rough night

2010-09-10T10:15:00.000-04:00

It was almost a bit comical.
Two nights ago was rough, but it was Mark that was up all night, so I can't really comment.
Last night was my turn.
Peyten has been fussy because of a number of things. She has a yeast infection, that we didn't know was a yeast infection until yesterday. We thought she just had a diaper rash, but it just wasn't responding to any butt cream at all. I don't think she has had a diaper rash before...or any sort of rash before, so we had no frame of reference. At any rate, Wednesday night that infection kept her up most of the night and her naps have been all screwed up. She is tired more than usual, but won't sleep as easily. One causes the other...of course.
Anyway, Thursday she had her well child visit at the doc's. She is about 29 inches tall and weighs 17 lbs. Her weight was low on the percentage scale. Well, it was actually down off the scale. The doctor had been a tad worried about her size the last time she was there, but this time since her weight didn't improve, she wanted to do blood work to double check a few things.
So, first she needed all her shots. Six of them. Three in each leg. Poor thing! Yeah, mama almost cried...and so did the nurse, Theresa. Four band aids later, we were on our way to the first floor to get blood work.
I think the blood draw was worse than the shots because it took longer. I don't know which one actually hurt more. But, I held Peyten on my lap and I held her left arm against her chest. A lady held her right arm on the table. And the other lady drew the blood. Peyten screamed the entire time. And it seemed to take forever to fill the vial. Finally, the lady said "well, I guess that is all we are going to get". So, I imagine it took longer than expected because she was trying to get more blood. I think they got enough to get their tests done. I hope...because I don't want to do that again. And I am sure Peyten doesn't either!
She fussed all the way to the car. Luckily I had packed a cooler with milk for her and that helped soothe her. I tried to put her down for a nap when we got home, but she wasn't having that. She cried for a while. Nate and I felt so helpless. At one point she stopped crying. Looked down at her band aid on her arm where they drew the blood. And started bawling again. Traumatizing, yes.
Well, she just couldn't get comfortable and I am sure was just in so much pain and discomfort from the six shots, yeast infection, and blood draw. I fed her some lunch and then I gave her some tylenol because she was starting to feel a tad warm. After a while of fussing, crying, and trying to get comfortable, I was able to wrap her in a blanket and give her some milk and she eventually fell asleep. I put her in her crib and she slept for almost 3 hours.

When she woke up from her nap, she was in much better spirits. She even took another nap a little while later.
And since the doctor suggested giving her some formula to try and help bulk her up, we gave her a bottle after dinner. She drank it right down.
And then even at bedtime, she went down great and went to sleep no problems.

And then...Aydan woke up around 10:30. He went back to sleep pretty easily, but Peyten woke up and she didn't want to go back to sleep...at all. She was wide awake and wanting to play. I tried putting her down a few times and she would just scream and cry. And in the meantime, Aydan woke up...oh about 3 more times. First time was for a snuggle. Second time was for a diaper change. Third time he needed help with his blankets. Fourth time he didn't need anything and I had to threaten a cold shower. That was the last time.
So, Peyten would snuggle for a minute, and then get back down and run around. Then she would lay her head on the floor and then pop right back up. I tried giving her a bottle of milk to settle her down, but she wanted nothing to do with the bottle. Which is odd for her. I tried putting her in her crib and each time it was crying and scrambling to get out. Around 11:30 or so, I decided to go lay in the bed with her and see what she did. She would roll around, but she wasn't fussing and she was laying down. So, eventually we both just fell asleep. There was a lot of waking up and restless sleep on both our parts, but at least it was better than nothing.
Aydan and Charly woke up at 6:30 the next morning, so everyone was up after that. I could tell Peyten was still tired, but I thought she was hungry too. I gave the kids their sippies and went to give Peyten her bottle of milk. She still wouldn't take it. Now this was just getting weird. Peyten doesn't ever not take a bottle and she wouldn't take one all night last night or this morning. I made her some raisin toast and tried to give her milk in a sippy cup. She ate the toast, but still wouldn't take the milk. I made her some formula and she wouldn't take that either. Mark tried too and she wouldn't take it. So, he got the bright idea to make a new bottle of milk and to show her that it wasn't formula and after that and forcing a little taste of it, she realized it wasn't formula and she drank it straight down. So, apparently there is no going back to formula. She drank the first bottle, but apparently doesn't want anything to do with it now. We will have to stick to whole milk and lots of food to fatten her up!

Right now, she is napping and hopefully she can have a less fussy day. Her infection is already looking better and those shots shouldn't take long to be just a memory. It won't be long and she will be back to her crazy, happy, fun loving, good eating, good sleeping Peyten. :)

What can I say...

2010-09-08T10:19:00.000-04:00

Conversation while riding in the car:

Charly: "What are all those rocks?"
Mom: "That is a cemetery. After people die, that is where we bury their bodies"
Charly: "They don't go up in the sky with God?"
Mom(realizing this can be confusing): "Well, their souls or spirits go up in the sky with God and just their bodies are buried in the ground"
Charly: "In the ground?"
Mom: "Yep, six feet under"
Charly: "Do we eat it?"
Mom: "No honey, we don't eat people"
Charly: "Why?"
Mom: "Well, we just don't. We only eat deer, cows, pigs, and chickens..."
Charly(looking very pensive): "Why?"
Mom: "Just because honey..."

I think something went wrong in our teaching...lol