Labor and delivery

I am a bit nervous about having this baby. I am not sure why. I have had two other babies...no problems. But, I guess the anticipation is getting to me. I am so excited to meet Peyton, but I am not quite ready at the same time. I have just a couple weeks left. I think I can get ready by then;) Plans are made...sitters are lined up...bassinet is up...I am pre-registered at the hospital. I still have to wash some baby clothes, pack a bag, and get a car seat. And I want to try and make some food to put in the freezer. It is nice to not have to worry about meals with all the baby business going on. And whoever is watching Aydan and Charly while we are at the hospital...would probably appreciate some easy meals too.
My "birth plan" will be as it always is. Go with the flow...and follow the baby's lead. I always try and go with no drugs and hope for the best. I am really not looking forward to the pain. But, one day of pain is worth a lifetime of joy.
I think what happens is this...if I can try and relay a random thought. When I am pain free, I can't fathom the pain of childbirth. I can't even empathize with myself or anyone else. I can't imagine how badly it will hurt. Or to what extent my body could "scream".
But, as I get closer to actual childbirth...my body isn't pain free anymore. Each day I have aches and pains. I get joints feeling like they are going to pop out. I have pain in my pelvic bone that just feels unnatural. I can't move too swiftly...because some part of my body will "yell" at me. If I sit too long, my joints need time to be accustomed to moving again. Not to mention, the pain that little Peyton delivers to me from inside. Usually from kicking my bladder in just the right way. Or she seems to have found a nerve of some sort...that hurts and leaves me breathless at the same time.
So, as I start to feel these pains all over and really just get tired each day from soreness...I can start to imagine how badly labor will hurt. How much pain my body will surly endure. I can start to empathize with myself...and what I will have to go through. I am for certain that the words will come out of my mouth again "I can't take it, I can't do this anymore!". When we all really know...that isn't an option. I am so uncomfortable most days...and it is just a waiting period for when I have the ultimate day of "discomfort" a girl can imagine.
I guess I am just tired and feel in no way up for labor and pain. But, with all that said....when the day arrives, I will step up to the plate. I will have some help of endorphins and excitement to get me through. I will have my husband and sister there to root me on and keep me going.
And even though I am not looking forward the pain of childbirth...the thought of having an epidural scares me even more. I am not really sure why. I guess even though i am in a tremendous amount of pain, I am still aware of everything. I can still be in control. I can walk around. I am not numb. And after the baby is born...the pain goes away and I am not lethargic. There is no...letting the drugs wear off. If I don't have an epidural, I am experiencing the birth of my child in its entirety. I am not taking any shortcuts, and I am making sure I am there for my little one all the way.
This is my own personal opinion and I, in no way put anyone down for their choices in labor. I think everyone is different, pain tolerance is different, each labor is different. Some people would rather have the pain meds, and I would not. I certainly don't rule it out as an option. I can hope that for my third child I won't need one...but you just never know. I will go with the flow....

Surreal

I finally got to go to my own church yesterday. With summer....comes a lot of travel and different activities, which makes it hard to make it to church every Sunday. Well, Garry and Cindy were in Indiana and Mark was resting his back. So, it was just the kids and me. Aydan screamed as soon as I brought them in the the nursery, but Charly did just fine. I left right away and Aydan didn't cry too long after that.
I sat by myself at church and I actually quite enjoy that. It is sort of my "solitude" time. Just God and me. And I don't get enough of that. Well, this particular Sunday, the pastor told us how his father in law had passed away the day before. His wife, was with family and he read and excerpt from something she had wrote to say good bye to her dad.
It really made me well up with tears. I never knew the man, but I think it just brought me back to my grandpa dying. Not to mention the fact that I can't imagine losing any of my parents, and I completely empathize with anyone losing theirs.
Well, I never really got to say good bye to my grandpa. Well, and more to the fact that I haven't let myself grieve at all. Life has kept me swimming lately...and at the funeral when I normally would have been focusing on grandpa's life and letting myself grieve over his death....I was chasing two kids around and wasn't able to pay attention at all.
I did walk up to the casket and say my good bye and I began to cry at that point, but I just sucked it back up because I had the two kids to tend to.
I just never let myself grieve. It really does have to be a conscious decision....which is odd.
I was going through my phone looking for a number today and found grandpa's number. I didn't delete it yet...but I know that I need to.
A person that has been a part of my life since the beginning, has died. Hopefully he is with my grandma and they are enjoying themselves.

35 Weeks

Well, I had an appointment on Tuesday of this week. Everything is going along well. My weight is a grand ole 168 and the baby's heart beat was in the 140's. The midwife said that she thinks Peyton is around 5 lbs right now. So, coming along just fine.
I start going to the doctor once a week now since I am in my last month. It is all just a waiting game from here on out. I feel like throwing a prediction out...of when I think I will deliver, but I just don't know. Maybe July 28th? Sure, let's go with that;)

Symptoms have actually gotten a bit better. I hardly ever have the PVC's now. And even my shortness of breathe has reduced. And dizzy spells...I don't have them as often, and when I do, they are much less severe. So, mostly what I deal with is pain in my legs, pelvic and those painful kicks that Peyton likes to give my bladder. I have a few braxton hicks contractions, but nothing crazy or consistent.

I have been eating kind of crappy lately. I need to get better about that. It is hard when you are near the end of the pregnancy and all you crave is pop and sweets. I have been still trying to suck down the water as well. I average about 32-48 oz a day. Not too bad.

That is about it for the exciting week 35 update...moving in to my 9th month now! Peyton, we will meet you soon!

Grandpa Ken

Our grandpa passed away this morning. We knew his health was deteriorating, but it always seems sudden.
Ken was my grandpa for all of the life that I remember. He married my grandma when my mom was in her early 20's...or somewhere around there. Even though, he was officially "step" grandpa...he is the grandpa that I remember with my grandma while she was alive. He was the grandpa that sent birthday cards every year. The grandpa that we saw every year at Christmas. He was always a positive person and was always happy to see us.
I know my grandpa is much more comfortable now. He doesn't have to suffer any longer as his body shut down on him, but he will be so missed. It hasn't settled in on me yet. When you don't see someone often...the feeling of them actually being gone usually comes later.
The funeral will be on Monday and I am glad I will have a chance to see his side of the family and mine.
Family functions will be quite different as Grandpa Ken will be dearly missed.

Dad's, War, Church, and Strawberries

We had a very nice weekend. It was full of lots of family time, which we always enjoy.

Saturday we went, to the Lest We Forget WWII memorial/reenactment. This is the second year that they have put this event on in St. Joseph, and we have gone both years. It is very good way to learn more about what happened during the war...and gain a little perspective from the vets and the reenactors. This year, Oma and Opa were able to come down and enjoy the day with us.

First, we went to the Normandy D-Day Landing reenactment. They did it right on the St. Joe beach. There isn't a whole lot of "good" spots to watch from...but we were still able to see the ships roll in, and the soldiers on the beach and hill.

Charly was tired...so she got some snuggle time in with Daddy.

And Aydan stayed in one spot, on Opa's shoulder...for all of 30 seconds I think. He is always go go go.

Zion sat in his stroller and relaxed. He wasn't a big fan of the sun...but of course didn't care to leave the sunglasses on.;)

After the reenactment at the beach, we had a picnic in the parking lot of the airport...well, in the grass. We had turkey pastrami sandwiches, chips and fruit. I think it hit the spot for everyone.

After that, we loaded up and went to check out everything set up at the airport. The reenactors had their camps set up and were ready and willing to talk to people about what they do.Charly having fun with her cousin. She kept giving both the boys the chocolate graham crackers...she made sure they were happy;) Aydan was just happy to be out of the stroller and running around.Zion and Aydan enjoying munching, while Opa and Daddy were looking at all the planes.
Charly with her Oma
Mark and Aydan were checking out the flags. Each flag was "in memory of" a soldier

After the airport we made our way back home. Of course...we first stopped for some ice cream at dairy queen...but, then when we got home, we just tried to relax and cool off the best we could. Brett came down and had dinner with us. We had leftover grilled chicken and baked potatoes from a church function at my dad's church. And we got some strawberries and made some non-alcoholic strawberry margaritas. We relaxed and visited and the kids ran around as they usually do. I was glad Zion came with...it is always fun to see how he has grown and progressed. He is a very cute kid.

On Sunday, we had plans to go down to the Behler's and join them for their church. For Father's Day Sunday, they were combining their usual three services, into one and having it at the High School football field.

Garry and Cindy met us at our house, we had some french toast for breakfast and loaded the van, and we were on our way. It was nice being able to take only one vehicle. We haven't really been able to take advantage of that since we bought our minivan.

We met the Behler's at their house and then we all went over to the high school, which was right down the road. They had a very nice turn out. I am not sure how many people showed up...but it was enough to fill the one half of the stadium.

They had a stage set up for the band and the pastor.

They had all the dad's do a "parade" down the front of the bleachers while everyone cheered;)

Can you see Garry and Mark??

Charly got to sit with her friend Ember, who lives across the street from Dana and Dan.

It was quite hot. We were all pretty much baking...and sweating. When the pastor started talking, he said that it would be a "shorter than normal service" because of the heat, and Charly said "Amen!". It was funny.

Aydan was hot ...we poured water over his head because he wouldn't drink it;)

Aunt Dana and Charly singing and swaying to a song.

Aydan finally tuckered out and fell asleep on Papa through the sermon.

After service, we went to the parking lot for "tailgating". Dan brought his grill and we cooked hot dogs. We brought a cooler with pasta salad, potato salad, and some fruit.

Mark and Dana. I guess Mark needed some sunglasses...;)

Aydan was really digging on the oranges!

Charly enjoying her Dr. Pepper and hot dog. She got the pop because a guy carrying a bunch of pop up near the concession stand, ran in to her on accident...so he felt bad and gave her a pop;)

Grammie and Charly just relaxing....

After tailgating, we went back over to Dana and Dan's house and just relaxed. We had plans to have strawberry shortcake...but we ended up just taking the fixings home with us a little later.

It was a lovely day despite the heat. We were glad Dana and Dan invited us down for their church. And it is always fun to see how much Dana and Dan have done to their house and garden. Dan made a fence to go around the garden out of pallets...it turned out really nice. And they had quite a bit of produce sprouting up already in their boxes. Hopefully they have a good turn out of "crop" this year;)

Welfare

Is anyone else offended by people on welfare? I am not talking about the people trying to get on their feet, or people in dire need that can't find work, etc. That is why welfare is there. I am not talking about people like that. I understand that. I have even used medicaid for a while after Charly was born. Although...I think we only got it for Charly, and not us. I can't remember. Anyway.....
I find it amazing that people like to brag to other people about what they can "get" from the government. Maybe they are fudging on their pay, to make it seem like they are making less, or having kids...just for the extra assistance. Whatever it might be...why brag? Especially to the people that are working hard and paying a lot of taxes!
Maybe it is just me, or maybe I have my information wrong...but taking advantage of all that "government" money when you really don't need to...isn't it just taking from your fellow tax payers...or even worse, your children? I work very hard, so I do not have to get assistance from the government...and I always have tried to. I am self employed and I pay for my own insurance. When I did have medicaid for Charly, for about a year...I didn't bother applying for food stamps, which I probably could have gotten, because I knew that I could afford food. I just was having trouble with the health coverage.
We are definitely living in a take, take, take society. And I only see it as getting worse. Our children our being raised with this sense of entitlement. Where is the pride you get from earning what you own? It is slowly fading. Our government needs a Dave Ramsey makeover...and they really aren't showing a good example for our children.
Now, I can only speculate...there is much much more I do not know about government funding, etc. But, from outside appearances...NO ONE is living within their means. And it is become "ok" to do so.
So, I will continue to do my best to not take advantage of this messed up system called welfare...and hope every little dollar I do not take, helps my children in some small way. And I will try and just look away when I see someone in the check out line, buying brand name food with food stamps while they, and their children are all decked out in new designer clothes.

33 Weeks

It gets pretty mundane from here on out. Well, a lot of pregnancy is mundane. I mean...9-10 months is a long time.
You don't even know you are pregnant for the first month.
And then for the next month or maybe two, no one else can tell if you are pregnant.
Then for a bit, you have this nice little baby bump and you can still do most things that you could before.
Then you enter in the "I can't reach things because my belly is huge" phase. And the "when are you due?" phase.
That is right where I am at. And right where I will stay until this little girl decides to join us in this world. I have to lean over uncomfortably to do the dishes. I have trouble making Aydan's bed because of the railing on the crib. I can't walk too much, otherwise my pelvic bones start to ache really bad and my stomach tightens up a lot. I can't roll over in bed too fast, otherwise I get this incredibly sharp pain in my side. Most people I come across, say "when are you due?" and are surprised when I tell them "not until August 4th". My heartburn is just getting worse and worse. I eat raisin bran to help keep it at bay. And of course, keep chugging water. If I am sitting for any length of time, when I get up...it is a matter of waiting for my body to adjust back to "standing position". Usually takes a good walk down the hall to straighten out.

I had my appointment yesterday with the midwife. Everything is normal as expected. My weight was 162, which is a two pound drop from two weeks ago. Not sure what that is all about. Peyton's heart rate was 141. I am measuring well and my blood pressure was all ok. The only thing she told me to keep an eye on, is if I have more than four braxton hicks contractions in an hour. Then I am supposed to call them. Right now, I get a few...but they usually subside when I lie or sit down. And apparently...all this pelvic pressure and pain that I have been having...it gets worse with subsequent pregnancies. With each pregnancy your bones and ligaments...or whatever...don't work quite like they used to, so that is why it is more painful. Right. Good to know. I am getting old and worn out....I guess it is bound to happen eventually;)

I am curious to see how this labor will go. "They say" that each one gets easier. Aydan's was definitely easier than Charly's, but for certain reasons.
I am not sure ....it is hard to compare.
Aydan's was easier, because they didn't break my water until I was dilated to 9. With Charly, they broke my water in the beginning to get things rolling.
Pushing time was shorter with Aydan too, but I don't recall it being that much less painful than it was with Charly. But, with Charly I did have the help of a little stadol, which is sort of the equivalent to a strong tylenol. With Aydan, I had absolutely no drugs.
Mark and I were very relaxed throughout the labor for Aydan. We watched tv, we talked, took naps, I blogged, we went for walks. I am hoping for another relaxing time with this next labor as well. A girl can only hope.

This time we will have my sister, Mindy with us. It was nice to just have only Mark at the hospital for Aydan's birth, but I think this time, it will be nice to just have one more person there. To help keep me comfortable...and if Mark wants to go down and grab a bite or something, he won't have to worry about leaving me alone.
The hours before the birth is great bonding time. You are stuck in a hospital room..with nothing else to do, but talk and wait for a little person to be born. I don't enjoy the pain...obviously...but I look forward to the time where the world kind of stops for a day...and at the end of it, you are blessed with this beautiful life. I can't wait to meet this little Peyton.