Moving

Nothing is set in stone, but I think I am moving.
Moving to a new place to blog that is.
You can follow along with me here:
 http://karikeepsrunning.tumblr.com/
So far I like the change...but I feel oddly attached to blogger....hmm.  I have been using blogger for quite some time.  I think I started blogging here a little before Charly existed.
But, I do love the community aspect of tumblr.

We will see what I end up doing in the long run....

Potty training

I know you are supposed to let kids take their time and not force and blah blah blah.  But, today I am in a "bull pucky!" type of mood.  I know Aydan has it in him.  I could be wrong, he may not be ready, but today I am not taking that into consideration.  If I end today feeling tired and defeated, tomorrow might be a different story.
It is 10:15am and since about 8:30am, Aydan has been sitting on the toilet every 15 minutes.  We have a timer set and each time it goes off he has to go in and at least try to go potty. 
Sounds easy schmeasy, right?  Um, have you met my son?
The first start of the timer, he was excited.  He wanted to push the button and he watched the timer go.  Once the timer went off, he gave me little resistant and sat on the toilet.  He even opted for the big potty rather than his little one.  Did he go?  No. 
But, I went ahead and asked him if he wanted to put some big boy underwear on.  He was all for it.  I figured if he was going to be on the toilet every fifteen minutes, the chances of him soiling himself were slim.
Next fifteen minutes go by...right before, he goes pee in his underwear.  But, I still make him sit on the toilet.
We continue the fifteen minute timer and each time he hides and screams and I have to carry him in to the bathroom.  I don't fuss or argue, I just take him in there.
I don't make him sit long, but he is required to sit.  He tells me that he doesn't like me anymore.  He screams "don't start the timer!".
He is definitely not liking this to say the least.  I thought Charly was stubborn, but Aydan takes the cake.  And now I can't back out even if I wanted to. 
He has gone potty in the toilet zero times.
He has gone in his underwear once and his diaper twice.

The battle has begun...who will win? ;)  Actually, it is a win/win lose/lose situation...because if I win, Aydan wins too by being potty trained...he just doesn't realize that yet.

Stay tuned.....

24 usable hours

Friday and Saturday have been busy days.  I feel like the energizer bunny. :)

To recap:

Friday:

• Kids woke me up at 6:30. (woo!  got to sleep in a little)
• Got Charly to school by 8am.
• Came home and made some chocolate ganache for a truffle order.
• Aydan REALLY wanted to play in the snow, so I bundled the kids up and took them outside for a bit.  It was nice to take some time out and just play with them.
• I had everyone inside and settled down in time for me to get going on work by 10am.  I had already checked emails to make sure there wasn't anything urgent first thing in the morning.
• The next eight hours or so was work, kids, work, work.  Mark had PT in the morning, but as soon as he got home, he was able to take over kid duty so I could go downstairs and plow.  I wanted to get as much done as I could, so I could go in to the weekend with a clear brain.  Easier to relax that way.
• About 5:30, we went up to the church for the Soup Supper.  We let the kids run around for a while, we ate some food, and visited with the Cardenas's and everyone else there.
• We left the church a little about 7 o'clock and we drove the kids around town so they could see the lights.  Every time we came up to a house with lights, Peyten would hollar "mom!", lol.  "Yes Peyten....I see them" ;)
• Once we got home, I went back out again to go up to the church to do some cleaning.  I cleaned from about 8-10:30.
• After I got home from that, I continued making the truffles and made some toffee as well.
• I was able to get both done and even got the toffee measured out and bagged.
• I finished watching an episode of Covert Affairs and was in bed about 1:30am.

Saturday:

• The kids woke me up about 7am.  Well, they crawled in to my bed earlier than that...first Aydan and then Charly, but they didn't get me out of bed until 7. 
• Peyten slept past 7, so I took the opportunity and snuck a shower in first thing.
• A little after 8, I made chocolate banana pancakes for everyone.  YUM!  One of my favorite foods.
• I had no plans today except to get some things done, so I just mosied about. 
• I made two loaves of banana bread for an order - one plain and one chocolate
• The kids went outside with Mark and Dan to play in the snow. 
• Peyten played outside for a bit, but then she came inside and took a nap. (a short one)
• I finished wrapping and labeling all the truffles and toffee for Dan and Dana's order.
• After Mark came in with the kids, he had to leave to go meet up with his boss for a bit.
• The kids made a rice krispie treat Christmas house with Dana and Dan.
• A little after noon, I put in Goonies for the kids and then made them lunch - pb&j and mac n cheese.
• I put Peyten down for another nap at about 1:30.
• Mark was home by this time and I ended up taking a nap about 2 o'clock.  I told Mark to come get me in a half an hour.  Well, 2-1/2 hours later, I get up from my nap.  I remember Mark coming in there once and I mumbled to let me sleep longer.  I was so out.  I guess he had come in there three different times, lol.
• I got started baking some stuff for coffee hour at church in the morning.  Two loaves of banana bread, oatmeal raisin cookies, and some pumpkin bars. 
• We realized that we should probably eat some dinner, so Mark ran to the store and got a take n bake pizza. 
• After dinner, we picked out a movie off of Netflix. 
• We made a pallet on the floor, got the kids in their pj's and watched Snowglobe.  Aydan passed out half way in, but the girls watched the whole movie.  Charly liked it a lot.  It was cute.
• Now the kids are in bed, Mark and I are watching The Expendables.  I probably won't be up too late tonight.

Sunday looks like:

• Wake up in the morning. 
• Charly and I will head out a little early and hit the grocery store for a couple things and then be at the church by 9am.  I am filling in for Kathy for Sunday school.  Should be interesting since I have never done that before! lol
• A little before 10:30 Mark will show up at church with the other two and we will see how many kids I get in nursery during church.
• After service the Unrath's are in charge of coffee hour, so we will put out our spread.
• After church, I am going to load the kids up and take them to Holton to visit my Dad and Claudia.  We have no set plans, just to hang out and relax. 
• After we get back to Holton and put the kids in bed, I will make two pumpkin rolls, some peanut butter cups, and some toffee for a couple orders.

And then it is back to work Monday!

Breathe

Whenever Aydan has a meltdown, I try and do a breathing technique with him.  It usually helps calm him down, but he doesn't breathe with me.  I say 1, breathe, 2, breathe, 3, breathe, etc until I get to 10. 

The other night he was having a meltdown because we had told the kids that if they eat their dinner, we would go see the Christmas lights.  Well, they didn't eat their dinner and Aydan wanted to see those lights so bad.  Well, he was having a fit.

I took him in the bedroom after a while and at one point, he was saying "I just can't!  I just can't do it!".  What he was referring to was not being able to calm down.  I could hear the disparity in his cry.  I felt so bad. 

So, I looked at him and started with "1 breathe", and a I took a deep breath.  And then I heard Aydan take a deep breath.  "2 breathe", and I took a deep breath and then I heard Aydan do the same.  We did this all the way to ten and he was a different kid by the end.  He was ready to grab a blanket and pillow and go watch the movie with his sisters.

He gathered his stuff and went out in to the living room.  And then he told Mark "Mom taught me how to calm down by breathing!"  He was so happy and proud of his accomplishment.  Me too.

A good year

First, let's look at my track record:

South Haven Blueberry 5k          8/4/10 - 28:39
Lansing Pumpkin Trot 5k           10/17/10 - 29.36
Battle Creek Road Hawg 5k       11/13/10 - 30:21
Mackinaw Bridge Run 5.6mile   5/28/11 - 47:57
Hartford Strawberry 5k               6/11/11 - 24:57
Kalamazoo Klassic 5k                 6/18/11 - 26:01
Watervliet Cherry 5k                   7/2/11 - 27:11
Coloma Peach 5k                         8/6/11 - 28:08
South Haven Blueberry 5k          8/13/11 - 25:13
Paw Paw Grape 5k                      9/10/11 - 25:13
Battle Creek Road Hawg            11/12/11 - 25:47

I would say I am less than consistent, but with the courses being so different you just never know.  I do know that I beat my first ever 5k time by 3 minutes and 26 seconds.  A year of improvement, always a good thing!

Now, next year Brett and I have both committed to these three events:

May 6th - Borgess Half Marathon - 13.1 miles
July - SMAC Adventure Race 10 hours or less course (biking, canoeing, running, and orienteering)
October 21st - Grand Rapids Marathon 26.2 miles

And I do plan on trying to do the fruit belt series again.  Here is 2011's schedule (2012 should be similar):

2011 Michiana Fruit Belt Series schedule:
June 11, 2011: Hartford, MI Strawberry Run
July 2, 2011: Watervliet, MI Ed Bednarowski Memorial Cherry Run
August 6, 2011: Coloma, MI Glad-Peach Run
August 13, 2011: South Haven, MI Blueberry Run
September 10, 2011: Paw Paw, MI Grape Lake Run

All I can say is it's going to be good!!  I am so not ready for a half marathon or an adventure race or a full marathon.  But, that is quite alright.  I will get there.  And if I don't, well I am going to suffer for it.  But, I am going to do it.  And that is the important part. 

January = start to train train train!

Analyzed

work (wûrk) n. 1. Physical or mental effort or activity that we have the opportunity to choose to partake in, in order for us to reap the benefits.

Sometimes I get to a point in my life where I feel I need to analyze it.  I don't know why I don't feel this way all the time, but I don't...or at least I am not quite conscious of it.  And then I start to realize that analyzing my life can also cause me more grief...unnecessary grief.  Because really what I would be doing, would be "over analyzing".  And what I really want to do, is to just shut my mind off.  Completely.  For a really long time.  I think this just all stems for exhaustion.  Mental exhaustion.  And when I am mentally exhausted it is hard for me to put forth effort to any other work that I want to do.

I stood in the shower today, letting the piping hot water run over me, while I contemplated my contemplation.  Really?  I couldn't move.  I actually did not want to move from that spot.  Not just because I love the feeling of the hot water slightly burning my skin, but I just didn't want to move forward.  Once I got out of the shower, I had to get dressed, get back to work, and kids would be running around soon enough.  I thought about laying down in the shower and just laying there.  Immobile.  I also thought for a second that the hot water might make me pass out.  Would I bump my head?  Surely Mark would find me soon enough.  But, instead I just leaned against the wall and let the water hit the top of my head like standing under a waterfall.  I love waterfalls.  I know that is random.  But, there is something so controlling and free about them.  Balance.

Anyway, I get sad when I am in one of these moods because I come to the realization that I am just "going through the motions".  It is easy to do the things that "need" to get done.  My job requires me to do a certain amount of things.  The kids wake me up each day and need things from me.  The house is filthy, it needs to be cleaned.  All the things that are thrown at me in one day, leave me exhausted at the end of the night.  By the end of the day, I just want to curl in a ball and zone out.  Too scared to go to sleep too early because as soon as I do, I know the next day starts and I will have to do it all over again.  That sounds sad and depressing, but really it isn't.  My life is full and crazy and I really wouldn't have it any other way.  This is just my whole ebb and flow process.  It doesn't last too long.  Balance.

Work.  The work that gets put on the sidelines is the work that I really want to be doing.  It takes work to make relationships great.  It takes a lot of work.  And it seems that that is the type of work that gets sidelined when the rest of my world gets crazy. 
Work to keep my marriage amazing.
Work to keep my relationship with my kids open and loving.
Work to keep my body healthy and in shape.
Work to keep my involvement in our church strong.

Work is a choice.  It is always a choice.  And I choose to work a lot so that I can reap a whole lot of benefits.

Money

Sometimes I get stressed about money.  Today is one of those days.  I am not going to go in to all the little details, but it has just been one of those couple of days where one thing goes wrong after another.  Such is life.

BUT, then I remember all the other times in my life that I have stressed about money and how each time God has provided for me, in one way or another.  ALWAYS.  There has never been a time where I was just not ok.  And each time I figure out...oh, well that could have been worse.  I truly am blessed.  I know I can't say that enough.  But, I have to keep remembering to not worry over silly money squabbles.  Yes, I said money squabbles...whatever that means.

Migraine

I have had a handful of full blown migraines in my life.  I can almost count them all because I still remember some of them rather vividly. 

My first ever migraine was at my mom's house in high school or middle school.  I was there over the weekend and there ended up being some sort of plumbing issue and well, the seepage caused a stink similar to rotten eggs.  Shortly after that, my head was pounding and I felt blind.  It was the evening I had to go back to my dad's, so I had to ride in a car the 30-45 minute drive to my dad's house.  When I got there I remember crawling in to bed, still crying, and just hoping the pain didn't last too long.  My mom stayed with me for a while and kept talking to me with a soothing voice and it helped calm me down.  Eventually I drifted off to sleep.

Since then, I have had a couple few more.

Last Saturday I had another migraine.  Now, when I say migraine, I could mean the regular headache accompanied with light sensitivity and nausea.  I do get those every so often.  But, right now, I am talking about the full blown, I can't move, dear Lord why is this happening, type of migraine.

I was enjoying a semi peaceful Saturday.  My boss called and had a few work things for me to tend to.  Nothing too major, so I booted up my computer.  Mark was on the couch, the kids were running around.  My head had been vaguely hurting all morning, but nothing out of the ordinary.
I had been on the computer for about an hour and then all of a sudden a wave came over me.  It is hard to explain.  It is similar to getting hit with the velvet hammer, although I wasn't sleepy.  I felt as though I might pass out, but wasn't sure.  Then the nausea set in.  I was quite certain that I may have to run to the bathroom, but didn't know if that would actually come to pass.  Then I just didn't want to keep my eyes open any longer.  It hurt to look at anything.  I wanted the world to be completely dark. 
My head was spinning and I just couldn't handle looking at anything.  I curled up in a ball on the floor hoping the spinning within my brain would just stop for a second. 
Then the pain came.  It felt like someone was stabbing me with blunt objects from all sides of my head.  The pain wasn't really hitting me in one particular spot.  If that was a good thing, I am not sure. 
I laid there with my hands over my head and waited until my head felt in control.
Then a certain little boy that shall not be named came over right be me...with a very poopy diaper.  Oh my goodness!  Let me tell you.  You know how with migraines, you get the sensitivity to light?  Well, it may be ten fold with the sensitivity to smell...in particular, poop!  I felt like my brain was literally going to explode. 
Mark had dozed off on the couch and wasn't really aware of my situation.  And with me being in my situation...I just couldn't bring myself to talk much. 
So, I just wanted the poop over and done with and I changed that diaper as fast as I have ever changed a diaper.  First of all, the smell had to go away before my brain actually exploded.  And second, when I stood up I immediately felt like I was going to fall back over.  So, when I changed him, I wanted to do so before actually keeling over on the floor. 
By this time, I was in full on tears.  Now, I don't really get it....can't my body understand that crying makes migraines worse?  I mean, doesn't it get that?  It was as if the pain and the emotional toll on my body, I just had to get some sort of release.  And that release came from crying.  Even if it did make the pain that much more unbearable.
Charly and Aydan started asking me "why are you crying momma?"  Well, I just didn't have much gumption to give any answers, I am not sure what I even mumbled.  I was just stuck, I didn't know what to do.  When there is so much going on with my head like that, I can't think straight.  At all. 
I crouched down in the kitchen and cried.  Sobbed.  Let it all out.  I needed to try and get to some sort of place of stability. 
Eventually I stood up and let Mark know that I was going downstairs to go to bed.  I do know that is the only real cure for a migraine.  I got downstairs and tried to clear my sinuses from all the crying and crawled in to bed.  The bottle of exedrin that used to be downstairs was no longer.  Darn.  I laid there in bed hoping to doze off.  Of course the pounding continued and every time I got some relief from the crying, it would just bubble up again and start all over. 
I calmed down a tad and decided to trek upstairs and I got a tylenol PM.  If I wasn't able to doze off on my own, I knew that within 15-20 minutes, the PM would do that for me.  I couldn't wait to be unconscious for this debacle.
I crawled back in bed and figured out a way to be comfortable without having to move too much.  I had my head propped up and I was on my side.  I knew that if I laid on my back...or my other side, the whole world would start spinning again. 

During this time, while I am waiting for the throbbing, aching, stabbing to at least slow down a bit, I can't help to think about how amazing it is that our heads can hurt that bad.  And I begin to appreciate every "little" headache I had had before. 
Eventually I dozed off and slept for a couple hours.  When I woke up, I was feeling much better.  I was still feeling weak, tired, and a bit dizzy.  But, the pain was gone and that I was very thankful for.

Is there a way to prevent these episodes?  I am not sure.  But, I hope it is a long time....if not ever...that I have one.